Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		3.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		5.0
Overall		4.0

Duck! the Carbine High Massacre Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf November 1, 2021

1999’s “Duck! The Carbine High Massacre” is meant to be a provocative effort. Its entire existence is based around its potential to offend people, with director/stars William Hellfire and Joey Smack doing whatever they can to call attention to themselves. The feature looks to recreate the events of the Columbine High School Massacre, with the production proudly declaring in an opening card that it relished the chance to “do it first,” beating other companies to the punch. Hellfire and Smack certainly have speed (the endeavor was released six months after the real-world incident), but filmmaking polish is not on their list of accomplishments. Using video equipment, amateur actors, and limited locations, Hellfire and Smack end up with an impossibly dull picture that’s solely out to exploit a dire situation, and it can’t even do that convincingly. “Duck! The Carbine High Massacre” is like a terrible school play one is forced to sit through because their kid is in it, dealing with an assortment of moviemakers who are just trying to finish the project in a hurry, not perfect it.

Carbine High School is located in a seemingly peaceful American suburb, but the students are anything but nice. Representing all kinds of stereotypes, the student body includes Derwin (William Hellfire) and Derek (Joey Smack), with the twosome trench coat-wearing outcasts, studying the ridiculous ways of their more popular classmates. They have troubled home lives, but the internet has gifted them a chance to explore their dark fantasies about murder, working on rockets and bombs while celebrating Nazi achievements. At school, classmate Bible Girl (Misty Mundae) tries to unite the grade in a shared love of God, but Derwin and Derek have other plans for their fellow teenagers, and when bullying takes a violent turn, the pair elect to even the score. Purchasing guns and preparing for the end, Derwin and Derek launch an attack on Carbine High, endeavoring to kill as many people as possible.

“Duck! The Carbine High Massacre” spends an extended amount of screen time getting to understand classmate dynamic, with the students spending their day tormenting one another with insults and attitude. There are goth types, the lone black student, Bible Girl, various mouthbreathing bullies, and a physically and mentally disabled teen. There’s a teacher as well, offering thinning patience to his class, but also taking time to ogle underage females, making him awful and unhelpful. And there’s Derwin and Derek, two friends with similar interest in Nazi history and dark thoughts, spending their free time in basements and bedrooms, working out ways to destroy the world. “Duck! The Carbine High Massacre” offers horrific domestic situations for the kids to help with motivation, but evil at home, much like everything else in the movie, is played for laughs, establishing a complete absence of good taste and, more importantly, a lack of nuanced psychological exploration.

Duck! the Carbine High Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

"Duck! The Carbine High Massacre" is listed as a "new transfer of the director's cut from the original S-VHS master tapes." The AVC encoded image (1.33:1 aspect ratio) presentation isn't pretty, but that's the general idea here, with the no-budget production offering low-res visuals. Age is present, with some points of damage, but the overall look of the feature remains in line with tape-based technology, offering a softer viewing experience that doesn't include any fine detail. Colors are basic, offering washed out primaries on costuming and school decoration. Skintones are reasonably natural. Delineation struggles with deeper blacks on clothing.

Duck! the Carbine High Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 LPCM mix also wrestles with the technical limitations of the production. Dialogue exchanges are frequently very quiet (some actors enjoy yelling their lines, which helps), with a few lines lost when soundtrack selections are introduced. Music isn't precise, but aggressive musicianship is understood, along with screamed vocals. Sound effects are basic.

Duck! the Carbine High Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary features co-director/co-writer William Hellfire and co-writer Pete Jacelone.

• "After Shock" (32:57, HD) provides 2021 interviews with co-director/co-writer William Hellfire and co-writer Pete Jacelone, with the men exploring their careers prior to the release of "Duck! The Carbine High Massacre." Hellfire and Jacelone were part of a fetish filmmaking community, creating cheap genre entertainment and faux snuff movies for their fanbase, with the lure of a more potent project in the making after the Columbine High School massacre. Chasing his "passion project," Hellfire pushed for the making of a "satire" on the event, trying to beat other media forces to the punch by quickly squeezing out a take on the rampage. Thrilled with their disturbing idea, Hellfire and Jacelone managed to make the picture with only some hesitation from the cast, who were uncomfortable with the subject matter. However, post-release was a real problem, with Hellfire and co-director Joey Smack arrested for "Duck! The Carbine High Massacre," charged with using real weapons on school grounds. News reports from this event are shared throughout the featurette.

• Deleted Scenes (10:20, SD) are collected from the original 1999 VHS release of the film.

• "Behind the Scenes: Court TV Interview" (5:49, SD) catches up with Hellfire and co-director Joey Smack as they present "Duck! The Carbine High Massacre" to a small crowd at CBGB. The filmmakers retire to the back of a van to discuss their creation with Court TV, defending their "social satire" to "media vultures."

• Interview (14:44, SD) is a 2004 conversation with co-director/co-writer William Hellfire.

• "Extended Today is the Day Footage" (7:40, SD) showcases a 1999 performance from the punk band.

• 16mm Short Films (SD) is a collection of creative endeavors by director Joey Smack. Included are "Today More Than Ever" (7:16), "I Get So Sick Sometimes" (3:53), "Little Beauties" (9:47), "I Know I Died with It" (7:46), "Inside the Next-Door Neighbors" (9:56), and "Sour Milk" (6:16).

• "King Ghidorah Live!" (15:25, SD) is a 1999 performance from the band.

• "Carbine High Jukebox" presents the soundtrack for the movie.

• Photo Gallery (11:32) collects poster art, BTS snaps, stills, publicity shots, and character polaroids.

• Trailers (SD) include 1999 #1 (1:23), 1999 #2 (2:10), and Shriek Show 2004 (2:33).

Duck! the Carbine High Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Smack and Hellfire save their no-budget carnage for the final act, trying to reach their finale with some dreamlike additions and detours into broad comedy. They also save a few jabs for the media, depicted here as excitable types lustfully reporting on human misery. Of course, Hellfire and Smack are doing the same thing with this endeavor, but forethought isn't a priority here, with the movie simply existing as a way to exploit disaster, not to understand it in any meaningful way. "Duck! The Carbine High Massacre" is too crudely made to take seriously, as simple technical challenges tend to stymie the production, and it's not entirely clear if Smack and Hellfire are trying to replicate a national tragedy that took innocent lives or make a Farrelly Brothers comedy with commercial VHS equipment. Either way, the feature doesn't connect as Z-grade entertainment or an insightful study of hallway horrors. It's just schlock from two filmmakers hungry for attention, selling their slapdash work with all the grace of a "First!" post in a comments section.