Bodied Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		0.5
Overall		2.0

Bodied Blu-ray Movie Review

Mom: "We have 8 Mile at home."

Reviewed by Randy Miller III May 30, 2023

Written by former King of the Dot battle rapper Alex "Kid Twist" Larsen and produced by none other than Eminem himself, Joseph Kahn's Bodied was probably on your radar in 2017 if the first half of this sentence made any sense to you. (If you think "rap is crap", please leave and go listen to Toby Keith or whatever.) Having been lightly tuned in to the world of Grind Time, URL, KOTD, Don't Flop, and other battle rap leagues since 2009, I recall hearing about this drama-satire during its production but never actually got around to seeing the finished product until now.

Sad to say, Bodied wasn't really worth the wait. It has reasonably high narrative ambitions and a decently stacked cast of well-known battle rappers that fill supporting roles and fan-service cameos, while its climactic tournament's stakes help Bodied feel like a spiritual successor to something like, yes, 8 Mile, a solidly-built drama that successfully fueled underdog spirit with real A-list window dressing. But despite a few flashes of promise, it falls way short in most other categories, taking dead aim at easy targets (woke libs, LOL) but mostly missing them anyway.

The path of Bodied's protagonist, bookish Adam Merkin (Calum Worthy), is clearly a semi-autobiographical stand-in for writer Alex Larsen, who started off in Canadian battle rap league King of the Dot, won their title in only his third match, and had a run of classics against established names like Jonathan "Dumbfoundead" Park (who appears in the film as one of his first real opponents). His on-screen alter ego Adam, however, is still a college student who's writing a thesis about the use of "nigga" in battle rap. Mostly following it online, Adam shows up at a local "Killerfornia Battle League" live event with his impossibly annoying liberal girlfriend Maya (Rory Uphold) and makes an impression on future mentor Behn Grymm (Jackie Long), who immediately tucks the aspiring rapper under his wing. Maya obviously rails against the sport's misogynistic atmosphere and emasculates Adam at every turn, which leads him to a fork in the road: does he abandon a girlfriend who despises his secret passion... or trade it in for love and forced veganism?

Neither, actually, at least not right away. Adam invites Maya to an upcoming Los Angeles event where he's on the card and she somehow accepts, dragging her heels at every turn while he faces off against Prospek (Dumbfoundead) and, finally having enough, she takes off before an after-party hosted by sneering battle rap final boss Megaton (Dizaster) and an impromptu stay at Behn's apartment; it's a surprisingly nice place, as he's secretly a video game designer with a professional wife (Candice Renee) and young daughter. As the backlash from Adam's inflammatory thesis grows back home -- mostly fueled by Maya and his professor dad (Anthony Michael Hall) -- his final challenge looms: a huge event where he's scheduled to face off against mentor Behn while Megaton fumes angrily in the wings.

Bodied's main problem is its pacing, as this two-hour affair spends way too much time on Adam's laughably one-sided relationship with Maya -- who basically stops the film's momentum every time she appears -- and not enough on more interesting drama, like the interpersonal politics of his new profession and finer points of "secret identities" maintained by the on-camera tough guys. Adam's meteoric rise to legend status after three battles is totally unbelievable, and his unwavering commitment to a dead relationship makes him a look like a spineless wimp that should've gotten roasted by Caustic. Strange casting choices add their own turbulence: why cast so many talented veterans like Rone, Hollow Da Don, Illmaculate, Arsonal, the late Pat Stay, and goddamn Loaded Lux as basically background characters while giving mostly non-rappers the mic? Then there are the actual battles -- unsurprisingly, all written by Larsen -- which are a mix of fire and poop emojis: some add absolutely nothing to the drama or atmosphere besides for empty running time, and many are poorly decorated by distracting special effects like gun shots. Even the film's cringe-inducing climax and post-show celebration, with their ridiculous "white savior" overtones, ring almost completely hollow.

Don't get me wrong: playing "spot the rapper" is kind of fun the first time through if you're a seasoned BR vet, some of the battles are admittedly well-crafted, and Bodied at least raises a few interesting questions about the curious nature of social dynamics within its unique underground world... but as a straight-up movie, this one gets 3-0'd (no bodybag) by its own shortcomings. Still, fans of this YouTube Original who want a physical copy should appreciate Gravitas Ventures' still-available Blu-ray, a basically movie-only BD-R disc with reasonably solid A/V specs.

As always, YMMV: our own Brian Orndorf treated the film much more warmly in his theatrical review.

Bodied Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Though it's authored on a single-layered BD-R, Gravitas Ventures' 1080p transfer offers a solid encoding of this digitally-shot production that supports its crisp but unavoidably somewhat waxy visual aesthetic. Colors run the gamut from mostly steel-blue during battle events to well-lit but cool in and around Adam's campus with plenty of room for warmer tones, such as backstage and in bars and other social gatherings. Fine detail is good within expectations, as are textures and black levels, although shadow detail is generally lacking in the lowest end. A few compression artifacts, including banding and light macro blocking, can be picked out on rare occasions but most everything else is handled well. Overall, it's a solid effort that likely outpaces YouTube's streaming version by a decent margin.

Bodied Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio mix likewise outpaces its streaming counterpart, serving up decently rich dynamics and crisp conversations from start to finish. Obviously the battles take center stage, as most of the larger indoor venues offer appropriate use of the rear channels and low end to simulate convincing room echoes boosted by enthusiastic crowd responses. Stray music cues -- including M.O.P.'s "Ante Up", which is used at least three times for some reason, often dominate for stylistic purposes but sound rich and full when the arrive. Although Bodied doesn't exactly carve out any new sonic territory for the genre, this is a solid lossless presentation that clearly gets the job done.

Optional English (SDH) subtitles are included, which might help with some of the lyrics.

Bodied Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

This one-disc release ships in a keepcase with poster-themed cover art and no inserts. Extras are minimal.

• Trailer (2:17) - Also available here.

Bodied Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Joseph Kahn's Bodied features plenty of well-known battle rappers in front of the camera (one of 'em even wrote the script), but the end result is a painfully uneven and mostly unsatisfying drama with a pretty high cringe factor at times. Though not without a few bright spots, it's a store-brand 8 Mile with annoying swipes at progressive liberal caricatures that will probably only appeal to outsiders who don't know Big Kannon from Nick Cannon. Gravitas Ventures' region-free BD-R is for established fans who want a physical copy, but everyone else should try before they buy.