Zombie Massacre Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		2.0
Overall		1.0

Zombie Massacre Blu-ray Movie Review

Grade Z.

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman August 4, 2013

If World War Z proved that something approaching an intelligent zombie film could in fact be made, what does low grade filler like Zombie Massacre prove? That films adapted from Wii games are a lose-lose proposition? That Uwe Boll is in fact an Ed Wood for a new generation? The possibilities are probably endless, but the result is the same: despite some glimmers of style and some admittedly impressive makeup effects, Zombie Massacre is a pretty lame entry in the ever expanding zombie genre. It was a long and not especially eventful road between 1932’s White Zombie and 1968’s Night of the Living Dead, but once George Romero’s fright fest appeared, the zombie genre gained new life (sorry), and the mass media landscape has been littered with the half eaten detritus of the walking dead (and in fact The Walking Dead) ever since. That has meant that those wanting to go where many have gone before need to have a pretty secure vision of what they want to achieve in a new zombie outing, since just about everything that’s been a staple of this horror niche has been depicted on screen already—multiple times. The fact that Zombie Massacre has been marketed in several overseas areas as Apocalypse Z proves that the “creative” powers behind this film are probably simply trying to cash in on the blood soaked coattails of the Brad Pitt film, so it’s probably wise to set the expectation bar as low as possible. Even with that caveat, Zombie Massacre often misses the mark.

Zombie Massacre actually starts out with a very effective opening sequence. We see a drudge worker (could there actually be a subtext about the zombiefication of the contemporary workforce?—nah ) leaving her largely automated job in what appears to be a forsaken Eastern European country (there are references to Romania later in the film), and walking home to her dilapidated apartment, where she’s evidently the caretaker for an addlepated elder (her father?). Suddenly, a huge explosion occurs and the woman goes out on her balcony to see what’s going on. Big mistake. An oily substance is raining down from the sky, and the woman’s hands are covered by it. Within mere moments she has transformed into a red eyed zombie as her incapacitated charge grunts quietly in the corner. It’s really rather stylishly filmed, with some very effective tracking shots and an unexpectedly astute sense of mood. All I can say is, enjoy it while it lasts (which isn’t long), for the rest of Zombie Massacre is about as trite and predictable as they come.

We next get an unwitting homage to Mission: Impossible as a bunch of folders with pictures and descriptions of various operatives are opened and discussed by a smarmy seeming military guy and an equally smarmy Secretary of Something or Other. (In one of many unintentional laughs Zombie Massacre provides, all of the supposedly American higher ups—including the President, played by the ever colorful Uwe Boll—all speak with heavy accents of one kind or another, so many Congress finally passed that sweeping immigration reform bill.) We’re let in on the fact that the calamity in Romania was the result of some super secret American experiment, and that the town must be blown to smithereens to cover up the illicit activity.

And who better to lead the force than convicted felon and former Iraq war veteran Jack Stone (Christian Boeving). Stone is locked away in solitary confinement, which evidently doesn’t keep him from going shirtless and flexing his rather impressive pecs whenever the camera is on him. Stone also is being kept from his only relative, his young daughter, so the smarmy military guy is absolutely certain he’ll agree to lead the mission. We also are quickly introduced to the other mercenaries, which include an impromptu gizmo expert named McKellen (Mike Mitchell) who might as well be named MacGuyver, a sniper named Dragan (Daniel Vivian) and a kick ass Irish martial artist named Eden (Tara Cardinal). Almost before you know it (this film is not especially big on segues), the quartet is in the zombie infected town and off to do their dirtiest.

This film is so relentlessly predictable it’s really kind of pointless to talk about specifics. But here goes anyway. The doctor who created the serum that morphs people into zombies has disappeared. So has his daughter, who may have the secret for a vaccine. Guess what happens there? One of the mercenaries talks about this being his last gig and what he’d like to do once he retires. Guess what happens to him? The mercenaries have been led to believe there are no actual human survivors left in the town. Guess who they find there? It’s just by the numbers filmmaking, with nary a surprise in store. The performances are pretty laughable for the most part, though Jon Camplan is goofily enjoyable as a kind of hippie the team meets in the town (whoops, spoiler alert). The tag line on the cover of this Blu-ray states “There is no hope”, and as long as people keep churning out brainless entries like Zombie Massacre, I’m inclined to agree.

Zombie Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Zombie Massacre is presented on Blu-ray courtesy of Entertainment One with an AVC encoded 1080p transfer in 2.39:1. This digitally shot feature posits well above average fine detail and sharpness, even in the desaturated, color graded sequences (which are many). The film's one saving grace here is the really well done makeup, which comes through extremely well on this high definition presentation. Contrast has also been toyed with at times, but overall maintains a reasonably consistent quality. At least some of the film appears to have been green screened, and so there's that slightly flat, featureless look to some of the backgrounds that tends to detract slightly from the overall presentation. There are no compression artifacts of any note to mention.

Zombie Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Zombie Massacre's lossless DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 mix is reasonably effective, especially once the carnage starts in the town full of zombies. Some of the foley effects are very well done and there has been at least some attention paid to placing them in both the side and rear channels. There's quite a bit of LFE on hand here as well, including gunshots and an explosion or two. Dialogue is fairly clearly presented, though as stated above, a lot of this international cast speaks with rather heavy accents. Fidelity is excellent and dynamic range is rather wide.

Zombie Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Storyboard Prologue (480i; 2:12)


• Storyboard (480i; 1:09)


• Teaser Trailer (480i; 2:38)


• Trailer (1080p; 2:04)


• Superfreak: The Making of Zombie Massacre (480i; 41:35) is typical EPK material. Forty one minutes of it. To be fair, there actually is some interesting stuff here, including a look at how some of the special effects were done.

Zombie Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

There are two unexpected things in Zombie Massacre. The first is that Entertainment One is debuting a new fanfare with this release. Try to contain your excitement. The second is that there is a completely weird and gratuitous coda to this film featuring lots of topless women turning into zombies. Unfortunately sandwiched in between those two moments is Zombie Massacre. I think that's what fast forward buttons on your remote are designed for.