You Hurt My Feelings Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		4.0
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		2.5
Overall		4.0

You Hurt My Feelings Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman August 21, 2023

In retrospect it may have been a mistake to send my wife a meme which I personally found hilarious which stated, "I think we can both agree that me hurting your feelings is your fault for having feelings". But for any husband who has ever struggled with the delicate balance between absolute truth telling to his wife and potentially getting taken out by a rolling pin by her as a result may find You Hurt My Feelings an interesting case study. Writer and director Nicole Holofcener is on hand in some supplementary content on this disc freely admitting her film has a (in her words) "miniscule" plot, one that was sparked by an idea Holofcener had about what would happen if a wife overheard her spouse reacting negatively to her work. Holofcener initially planned for the "wounded" party to be an actress, but evidently that cut a bit too close to the bone for Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who had already told Holofcener she'd do the film when it was ready, and so instead You Hurt My Feelings finds the always reliable Louis-Dreyfus as writer Beth. Beth has experienced some best selling success in her past, but her latest tome, a journey into fiction for a non-fiction author, is, shall we say, not exactly the favorite of Beth's husband Don (Tobias Menzies). When Beth and her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) overhear Don and Sarah's husband Mark (Arian Moayed) discussing Don's less than exuberant reaction to the new work (which he has kept to himself), chaos ensues.

The basic premise of You Hurt My Feelings is in fact "miniscule", and it deals with the same sort of really pretty slight but still precarious marital dysfunction that might have been a perfect episode on a sitcom from days of yore, and if there's a niggling qualm about the film, it's that the basic "conflict" really could have been solved in about a nanosecond with Don simply saying, "I didn't want to hurt your feelings", hence his reticence to share his opinion about Beth's latest work. That actually ultimately happens (more or less, anyway), but it takes a while to get there, and perhaps due to my existence as a card carrying husband of decades who is obviously idiotic about women's feelings (as evidenced by that meme), I have to say Beth kind of comes off as a whiny neurotic for some of this story, but of course that's something that Louis-Dreyfuss can play to the veritable hilt.

There are a number of sidebars at work in the tale as well, all of which help to at least distract from the central conceit. Those include a number of personal issues most of the major characters are facing, including Sarah and Mark, but probably most importantly Don, who works as a therapist, which should make him an expert at divining people's feelings. The film often has some occasionally scabrous and alternatively heartfelt vignettes with Don and various patients, but one way or the other, it becomes more than apparent that Don's own clientele is not particularly concerned about whether they hurt his feelings. There are a number of really fun interstitial scenes on this side of things that offer performers like David Cross a chance to strut their stuff. Don and Beth also have an adult son named Eliot (Owen Teague), who works in a nearby pot dispensary, and Beth also helps shepherd her feisty mother Georgia (Jeannie Berlin, in another wonderful performance).

You Hurt My Feelings Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

You Hurt My Feelings is presented on Blu-ray courtesy of Lionsgate Films and A24 with an AVC encoded 1080p transfer in 1.85:1. The IMDb lists the Arri Alexa Mini as the camera of choice, and I am assuming this had a 2K DI. This has a generally well detailed appearance, but Holofcener and cinematographer Jeffrey Waldron aim for a somewhat tamped down palette and slightly "urban gritty" look, which at times combines with what I've often called "Alexa murk" to deprive, if slightly, more dimly lit moments of the same levels of fine detail seen in more brightly lit moments. There's a noticeable brown-yellow grading at play throughout the presentation, especially in some of the interior scenes. When all is said and done, there's a commendable clarity to the visuals, even if they don't provide a lot of what is typically called "pop". A surplus of midrange and close-up framings help to elevate detail levels as well, and the entire presentation has a comfortably "lived in" appearance that supports the storytelling.

You Hurt My Feelings Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

You Hurt My Feelings features a DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track that, kind of like the visuals, never really "goes for the gusto", but still provides consistent if subtle immersion, especially in some of the more active urban environments, where well placed ambient environmental sounds dot the surround channels. This is a pretty "talk heavy" film, though, and as such surround activity is often limited to ambient environmental effects and/or score. Dialogue is rendered cleanly and clearly throughout. Optional English and Spanish subtitles are available.

You Hurt My Feelings Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Audio Commentary with Writer / Director Nicole Holofcener and Actor / Producer Julia Louis-Dreyfuss


• Just Being Honest: Making You Hurt My Feelings (HD; 20:04) is a fun EPK with some enjoyable interviews with the principal cast and crew.

Additionally, trailers for other A24 releases are offered. A DVD and digital copy are included, and packaging features a slipcover.

You Hurt My Feelings Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

You Hurt My Feelings is a "small" film, but therein lies a lot of its peculiar genius. Buoyed by some really wonderfully nuanced performances, and helped by some very smart writing, this should appeal to anyone who has weathered the storms of a relationship to find a new basis for understanding. Technical merits are generally solid, and the commentary and EPK are very enjoyable. Recommended.