Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		3.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		1.0
Overall		2.0

Wrong Side of Town Blu-ray Movie Review

Welcome to this week's lesson on how to make a bad film.

Reviewed by Dustin Somner February 13, 2010

Before I dig into the bulk of this review, I feel compelled to offer my opinion on the phenomenon known as professional “wrestling”. Judging from the onslaught of television programming and random pay-per-view events, there must be a tremendous following of avid fans, but I simply can’t comprehend the attraction. Watching men (and sometimes women) simulate a fight by stomping the ground and lurching around in front of thousands of screaming fans seems a bit pointless. When you add in the microphone displays of ridiculous banter between two opponents, you have to wonder why anyone’s still paying attention. For those still willing to read my assessment of this film, I’ll offer a word of warning that I’m about to downgrade the acting abilities of the film’s two main stars, and some fans may not like that. If it makes you feel any better, I love mixed martial arts and still slammed the acting abilities of UFC’s finest, so my collective thumbs down isn’t directed solely at participants in the WWE.

You'd think a Navy Seal could figure out how to adjust the strap on his gun.

As a devoted father and husband, Bobby (Rob Van Dam) lives a quaint life in the sleepy suburbs of Los Angeles. One day, while saving his daughter from a fake drowning, he’s visited by his new neighbor, who invites the couple to join him and his wife for a double date at a local nightclub. Bobby agrees to the night on the town, and throws on his best graphic t-shirt for a visit to the classy establishment. Once there, his neighbor is visited by the owner of the establishment, Seth (John Ortiz), who welcomes him as a business associate. After making it clear their meal is on the house, Seth takes off for a meeting with a corrupt police sergeant regarding drug activities, and places his brother/son, Ethan (Don Omar) in charge of the club. Hopped up on cocaine, Ethan corners Bobby’s wife on her way back from the restroom and assaults her. Bobby comes to the rescue and in a tussle with Ethan, winds up allowing the boy to accidentally stab himself (fatally). Seth comes home to find his son/brother dead, and quickly places a $100,000 reward on Bobby’s head. Now it’s up to Bobby to survive the night and protect his family from Seth’s goons. Oh yeah, did I mention Bobby’s a Navy Seal?

Sometimes I wonder how anyone could agree to finance this kind of garbage. At least films such as The Marine or The Condemned incorporate a storyline and several rousing set-pieces. Wrong Side of Town fails to generate an ounce of entertainment through the duration of the film (unless you count a topless Stormy Daniels as “entertainment”), and left me wondering why anyone would add this film to their resume. Writer/director David DeFalco shouldn’t be too concerned about it ruining his career after already accomplishing that task with his atrocious 2005 film, Chaos (a dumb rip-off of Last House on the Left). Given the number of clichés, plot-holes, and bone-headed decisions in the screenplay of this follow-up outing, I’m predicting he’ll either fade out of the picture, or become the successor to Uwe Boll. To give you an idea how nonsensical the film actually is, I’d like to describe a scene for you. Following a brief interrogation at the police station, the four suburbanites are headed home in an SUV. As they head onto a one-lane overpass, they find a group of Latino gangsters blocking their way with a car turned sideways. Another vehicle pulls up from behind, making it impossible for them to turn around. Add in a motorcycle on each side of the SUV (for full effect), and you’d assume they aren’t going anywhere. Suddenly, at Bobby’s insistence, they “pull around” the group and start a car chase. To be clear, the car chase simply begins, with no indication as to how they “pulled around”.

Further complicating matters, we have a corrupt cop who believes murder and dealing drugs is ok, but kidnapping the daughter of Van Dam is a giant atrocity. If this were a grade-schooler writing the script, I’d find it somewhat acceptable, but considering an adult with at least a marginal degree of prior writing experience is responsible for the Swiss cheese plot, I find it hard to stomach.

I wish I could tell you the acting and production values are the saving grace of the film, but that’s simply not the case. If you’re reading this review, you probably noticed the cover of the Blu-ray case, which implies Bautista’s the star, and Rob Van Dam shares equal time with Ja Rule. Unfortunately, this is simply a case of marketing the biggest star, since Bautista appears in a mere ten minutes of the feature, and Ja Rule shows up for two of them. Van Dam is the true star in Wrong Side of Town, carrying almost every scene on his shoulders. I hope Van Dam has other talents or hobbies to carry him beyond the wrestling world, since acting is not in his repertoire. Between his wooden line delivery, illogical displays of emotion, and odd ability to look like a fish out of water in any environment, Van Dam is incapable of salvaging a shred of value in the production. I know many of the wrestling fans will be a bit more forgiving of the shortcomings in the acting department, but the ultimate letdown is the fight sequences. Choreographer Marrese Crump does his best to infuse martial arts into the film (even filling a role himself), but at the end of the day, these are lumbering giants with the agility of Frankenstein. Recognizing this fact, Crump incorporates a bit of knife-fighting in a scene with Bautista, but instead of taking on the cool vibe of Steven Seagal in Under Siege, we have something that appears much closer to a slap-fight between two kids on a playground.

Closing out the complaint department, I’d like to make a brief request to all upcoming action directors casting large muscular men in the leading roles. Please obtain guns that fit the stature of the individuals wielding them. I have no idea where the machine guns were purchased for Wrong Side of Town, but they look like they were obtained in the toy section of a local Wal-Mart. Not good.

Wrong Side of Town Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Presented in 1080p utilizing the AVC codec (at an average bitrate of 19Mbps), Wrong Side of Town sports an inconsistent transfer that wavers drastically from scene to scene. Fine object detail appears surprisingly good in close-up shots, but the nature of the amateur photography reveals out of focus images around every bend. A substantial portion of the medium distance photography (shots of several characters in a room) fails to capture fine textures, creating an image that's far too hazy for my liking. Further complicating matters, the film incorporates an extensive use of shaky camera methods in oddly chosen places, as if the director was striving for a gritty feel, but couldn't figure out how to effectively accomplish his task. The end result softens the impact of the less-than-stellar cinematography, but removes the polished stability of a professional action-oriented production. Matters improve somewhat with the color scheme, but there's still a strong push in the direction of a dark palette, leaving the film awash in blues, greens, and the occasional reds (such as the scene in the strip club). The fact that the film is shot almost entirely at night requires black levels and contrast to work overtime in order to deliver a satisfying experience. On the whole, they do a commendable job, but there are several scenes where shadow detail is lost amid weak shade variations. These moments of shallow contrast appear mostly during low-lit indoor shots, but are still present from time to time in outdoor sequences as well.

Wrong Side of Town Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Before I delve into the merits of the track, I should make it clear that my score for the audio presentation takes into account both low-budget and blockbuster action entries. If I were comparing Wrong Side of Town with other B-grade action flicks and throwing the Hollywood offerings out the window, this would likely come closer to a 4/5 assessment. Getting down to the particulars of the track, this is a fairly ho-hum experience, with only fleeting moments of proficiency. Surround activity is minimalistic but still present, dialogue is as crisp as we'd expect given the quality of acting, and despite the laughable nature of the music it rarely overpowers other elements in the mix. This definitely isn't what I'd consider an immersive experience, but it's adequate for the quality of the production.

Wrong Side of Town Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Set Life with Rob Van Dam (720p, Linear PCM 2.0, 1:47 min): This interview with Rob Van Dam focuses mainly on his wardrobe.

Interviews with the Stars (720p, Linear PCM 2.0, 3:50 min): Interviewees include: Rob Van Dam, David Bautista, fight choreographer Marrese Crump, Nelson "Big Daddy V" Frazier Jr., and Ja Rule. Van Dam contributes the most, but the others jump in to reflect on how honored they were to be in the film.

Stunts with Rob Van Dam (720p, Linear PCM 2.0, 2:05 min): Van Dam comments on the stunt-work in the film while we watch behind-the-scenes footage of him in action.

Kali Training with David Bautista, Marrese Crump and Oscar Lugo (480p, Linear PCM 2.0, 4:08 min): The Filipino martial art is demonstrated by Crump, who's shown practicing fight choreography on Bautista and Lugo. During the footage, we're treated to a techno song by Pronobozo.

Rounding out the extras, we have a high-definition trailer for Wrong Side of Town.

Wrong Side of Town Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Wrong Side of Town is a film that never should have been made. At some point during pre-production, someone needed to make the tough call and simply say enough is enough. The script is bad, the acting is stiff, and the action is downright boring. In fact, I'd go so far as to say the saving grace of the film is the hilarious dumb-factor of the entire production. This is most definitely not on my recommended list, and deserves a spot in the "avoid at all costs" bin.