Witless Protection Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		2.5
Audio		3.0
Extras		2.0
Overall		2.5

Witless Protection Blu-ray Movie Review

Should you protect your Blu-ray collection from this film?

Reviewed by Martin Liebman July 4, 2008

His movies may be completely inane, but I cannot help but like Larry the Cable Guy anyway. I finally had the opportunity to watch Cars for the first time the other night (on Blu-ray of course!), and his portrayal of the rusty old tow truck named "Mater" was, for my money, the best, funniest, and most charming character in the movie and the glue that held the whole thing together. Perhaps his physical on-screen presence just doesn't translate as well as his voice work, but nevertheless, movies like Delta Farce and Witless Protection are the kinds of cinematic duds I find myself drawn into watching, despite the fact that chances are extremely high that everyone was right and the movies stink (as was the case with Delta Farce, a movie I reviewed and panned, but still find myself wanting to watch every now and again). I have a feeling that the same will hold true for Witless Protection in the long run. This is a movie worthy of panning but I'm nevertheless happy that I have the disc on-hand to watch again at some later date thanks to some mystery appeal both vapid films like Witless Protection and redneck comedians like Larry the Cable Guy hold for me.

Heavy drink may be your only solace after watching 'Witless Protection.'

Once again, Larry the Cable Guy plays Larry, this time portraying a small town deputy sheriff with higher aspirations. Despite his Southern persona and drawl, redneck charm, sleeveless flannel shirts, worn Bass Pro Shop ball cap, none-too-high IQ, generally uncontrollable bowl movements, and a good fifty extra pounds around his midsection, Larry dreams of one day being in the FBI. He's convinced that watching tapes that show how to dodge obstacles and clear a room with a .45, not to mention his already keen police sense (who else could end a hostage standoff between a rider and his horse?), will take him to the top. One day, while chugging yet another milkshake at the town's diner with a few friends, Larry observes a tall, blonde, and decidedly city-oriented woman named Madeleine (Ivana Milicevic, Just Like Heaven) enter the diner, along with several "men in black." Larry takes note of their suspicious activities, and when he sees they are driving a black Chevrolet Suburban to boot, his fine-tuned, grease-smelling sniffer alerts him to trouble. Larry takes it upon himself to "rescue" this damsel in distress, who informs him time and again that she was never in need of rescuing. In fact, Larry is now the kidnapper, whisking her away from the (rather incompetent) FBI agents watching over the latest person to enter into the witness protection program. Will Larry's "witless" antics be the ruin of this star witness, or will dumb luck lead this duo deeper into the depths of the crime ring she's been privy to, making Larry the hero he's always dreamed of being?

Any movie that begins with a hefty redneck in sweats "training" for the FBI to the tune of "Eye of the Tiger" has to be a good movie, right? I'll admit: the scene left me in stitches, not necessarily because it was genuinely funny, but because Larry the Cable Guy isn't afraid to let loose and act like a complete idiot. Why not? It's earned him millions. Witless Protection, believe it or not, left me laughing (and uncontrollably, more than once) at its antics. It's a far funnier movie than Delta Farce, but that still doesn't make it all that good of a movie, either. In between the times I nearly fell off my couch laughing, there were other instances where I sat in awestruck wonder at just how stupid the move was. The ratio of funny-to-stupid leans to the stupid side of the spectrum, but the laughs hold their own as well. Nevertheless, I laughed more with (and at!) this movie than any other comedy in a while, so in that regard, it did its job.

As someone from who has lived in the South for the better part of this decade and as someone that knows and is friends with several certified rednecks, I was a bit more appreciative and understanding of the humor seen in Witless Protection. Big city folks, much like the character of Madeleine, are less likely to "get" this movie. In fact, there are going to be plenty of people who find themselves downright offended by this movie that takes aim at everything and everyone, and revels in racial stereotypes and toilet humor, but at the end of the day, the movie pokes fun at Larry's own stereotype the most. Redneck jokes and sight gags abound (notice that darn near everything in the movie is camouflaged). The acting in Witless Protection is poor (Jenny McCarthy, anyone?) as expected, and Charles Robert Carner's direction is rather flat. Witless Protection also features performances from several name actors, including Peter Stormare, Yaphet Kotto, and Joe Mantegna.

Witless Protection Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Witless Protection debuts on Blu-ray in a serviceable yet uninteresting 1080p, 1.85:1 framed high definition transfer. This is a very nice looking disc in places, and a highly mediocre one in others. It goes from 4-star material to 2-star material in the blink of an eye, or in this case, as quickly as some of Larry's jokes fall flat. Colors are sharp and rich, at least some of the time. Larry's red flannel shirt can look a bit noisy at times. Various outdoor shots tend to look good, including those with green foliage, as seen on several occasions throughout the movie. Detail is nice and high, in places. A few early sequences where we see the downtown area showcase moderately good detail in the street, store fronts, and vehicles. A few exterior shots of Chicago late in the movie also hold up well. Some scenes look a bit hazy, like the one inside the diner early in the movie. It's obvious that the sun glaring through the windows is the culprit, but the effect seems overstated a bit on this disc. Flesh tones are on the reddish side, but then again these characters are rednecks, so who knows? I also noted some shimmering and soft edges in a few places. Black levels are rich and deep, proving to be one of the finer aspects of this transfer, despite just a bit of crushing and loss of detail in a few instances. I noted a few white speckles on the print, but otherwise it is in pristine condition. Witless Protection's transfer is about what one would expect of a low-budget, brand new comedy on Blu-ray. It's watchable with no one picture quality flaw that makes you turn away in disgust, but it's certainly not the best we've seen, either.

Witless Protection Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Fortunately, Witless Protection arrives on Blu-ray with a DTS-HD MA 7.1 lossless soundtrack. The movie starts off with a montage (it's always a good omen when a movie begins with a montage) to "Eye of the Tiger." It sounds fantastic, as does Beethoven's Fifth Symphony as heard later in the movie. Dialogue sounds terrific as well, although there are times when it was hard to discern under the music. The sequence between Larry and Madeleine as they speak in his pickup truck after he "kidnaps" her is a fine example of this. Despite 7.1 channels of lossless goodness, there isn't all that much going on in the back channels. The film's music sometimes finds its way back there, but as for discrete effects or ambience, there is little to none. There are a couple of instances of good, powerful, foundation-rattling bass that adds a bit of flair to an otherwise uninteresting sound design. This movie's audio might be a bit bland, but considering how fantastic other Lionsgate titles sound (The Eye, Rambo), I have no doubt that what we are hearing here is what the sound designers of the film intended for us to hear. In other words, I don't believe Lionsgate skimped on this release simply because it is Witless Protection.

Witless Protection Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Witless Protection takes viewers behind-the-scenes with a several very funny extras. Making Witless: The Cast on the Cast (1080i, 12:13) is first. This piece is rather funny; the participants deliver their comments with a serious yet tongue-planted-firmly-in-cheek manner as they praise one another, and it's easy to get into and laugh at this supplement. Larry's Use of the Analogy (1080i, 5:41) examines the numerous analogies heard in the film and is hosted by a haughty-sounding narrator with an English accent. The Musicians of 'Witless Protection' (1080i, 11:11) looks at the contributions of Peter Stormare, Antsy McClain, and David Was to the film's soundtrack. A Cast of Critters (1080i, 2:55), hosted by Jenny McCarthy, examines the use of various animals as seen throughout the movie. Die Laughing! (1080i, 3:21) is a lighthearted look at a scene from the movie where one character plays dead. The Witless Blooper Reel (1080i, 3:19) is a self-explanatory feature. Rounding out the extras on the disc are a series of deleted and extended scenes (1080i, 2:45) and 1080p trailers for Delta Farce, Good Luck Chuck, Employee of the Month, and Rambo.

Witless Protection Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

If this film's target audience can take Witless Protection for what it is, a completely inane comedy with the simple goal of making you laugh and not trying to be the next French Connection or other cinema classic, they should enjoy this one well enough. More easily offended, haughty, overly critical, and otherwise highbrow film enthusiasts should go rent The English Patient instead and pretend Witless Protection doesn't even exist, because I promise they'll hate it. For those of you brave enough to ride shotgun with Larry the Cable Guy in his latest cinematic dud, Lionsgate presents Witless Protection on Blu-ray as a fairly bland package. With passable yet underwhelming video, audio, and supplements, the disc is best served as a rental for general, none-to-picky audiences, and might be worth a purchase for my redneck buddies.