Wild Things: Foursome Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		2.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		1.5

Wild Things: Foursome Blu-ray Movie Review

There's nothing like a good double entendre; too bad 'Wild Things: Foursome' isn't as 'clever' as its name.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman June 1, 2010

This is like divorce court...only hotter.

It all boils down to money. Both the plot of Wild Things: Foursome and the rationale behind its very existence are all about the Benjamins, to borrow a popular phrase. A movie of sex, big money, more sex, greed, some more sex, deception, and, oh, why not a bit more sex, Wild Things the fourth lumbers along like an on-the-cheap middle-of-the-night Cinemax romp but without a more provocative flair and boasting just about the same quality production values, acting, and plot lines. Really, why bother? There's nothing new here and this isn't 1988; there's this really cool invention called the Internet, and anything and everything that's marketed as the film's selling points -- sex, skin, more sex, bikinis, some more sex, gun-toting action, and, oh, why not a bit more sex -- can be found through this miracle network in about five seconds flat, and certainly for far less than the $29 Amazon.com currently wants for the privilege of owning this movie. Nevertheless, studio executives, mathematicians, economists, marketing gurus, and shoot, maybe even someone that knows something about making movies crunched some numbers and found a weak spot in the DTV market worth exploiting in hopes of turning enough profit for someone to put a pool in their backyard or something. More power to 'em if it works, but just remember: there's nothing in Wild Things: Foursome that can't be found by going to Google and typing in a few keywords from this paragraph.

Several cast members receive word that 'Wild Thing5: You Make My Heart Sing' with Charlie Sheen is due out next spring.

Spoiled rich kid Carson Wheetly (Ashley Parker Angel) has it all: good looks, a girlfriend, and the cash to throw one heck of a party. The one thing he doesn't have, however, is the sum total of his father's wealth. Though a disappointment in his father's eyes, Carson lives the easy life, leaching off his father and partying, racing boats, and drinking away his liver. When his father dies in a freak car racing accident, Carson learns that he's inherited his father's fortune, but there's a catch: he's not to be given the bulk of the cash until he turns 30, but a stipulation in the will grants him additional funds if he finds himself ill or gets married. Enter his girlfriend Rachel (Marnette Patterson) who smells an opportunity for some quick cash. The two agree to tie the knot, but Carson is accused of raping a local girl named Brandi (Jillian Murray), and Rachel's friend Linda (Jessie Nickson) is squealing for the prosecution. A local detective (John Schneider) is on the case, and as he digs deeper into the lives of those closest to Carson's would-be fortune, he unearths the facts behind a deadly game of greed and deception that promise to tear a well-to-do Florida community apart.

Most people probably clicked off this page after seeing the low movie, video, supplemental, and overall ratings above, because when a movie scores that badly, there's no mystery as to what's coming in the review. But for those hardcore Blu-ray.com readers who are actually still here, below is the rest of the movie review in the form of random thoughts that occurred during a screening of Wild Things: Foursome. This highly-condensed list is sans any details, but then again Wild Things: Foursome doesn't really lend itself to any kind of worthwhile examination, save, of course, by those viewers that haven't learned from the Google lesson above and want to pause the movie on someone's naked torso. Ready? Go.

-The acting stinks.

-The plot is old hat.

-The dialogue is terrible.

-The characters are flat.

-Twists and turns don't matter when the characters are unlikable.

-Twists and turns really don't matter when they're just tossed in at the end for the sake adding some more twists and turns.

-The movie is a waste of time.

-Is anyone still here? Just checking.

-Better to go watch a good movie and forget this one exists.

-At least go watch the original Wild Things instead of this.

-Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

-Ping Pong Playa.

-Jimmy Tsai was in Ping Pong Playa with Elizabeth Sung who was in Cyborg 2 which starred Jim Youngs who was in Footloose with Kevin Bacon.

-Has this reached an acceptable word count yet? Almost there...

-This device complies with part 15 of the FCC rules. Operation is subject to the following two conditions: 1. This device may not cause harmful interference. 2. This device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation.

-Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Ew gross!

-Wild Things: Foursome tries to legitimize itself as something more than a softcore Cinemax movie by tossing in a murder mystery element, but it doesn't mask the fact that this is just bad and, worse yet, irrelevant cinema.

-One of the actors looks like he could be Oliver Platt's younger brother.

-Blah blah blah.

-Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah.

-Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah.

-Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah, Blah blah blah.

-Sony brings Wild Things: Foursome to Blu-ray with a 1080p transfer housed within a 1.85:1 frame. Oops. That goes in the next section down. Might as well just head there now. Blah.

Wild Things: Foursome Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Sony brings Wild Things: Foursome to Blu-ray with a 1080p transfer housed within a 1.85:1 frame. In short, this transfer is bland at best. It's colorful but lacks a crisper, more refined and natural-appearing palette. Flesh tones often capture a decidedly orange tint, and black levels are far from impressive. Detail is merely adequate; this is certainly better looking than an average standard definition presentation, but it falls well below the norm for a quality Blu-ray transfer. The picture is overloaded with noise, and it more often than not appears soft and fuzzy with but a few scenes that are noticeably sharp and stable. White speckles appear on-screen at random intervals, though they're never big enough to cause much of a distraction. That's pretty much it; there's nothing here of note, and aside from a few shots of average quality, Wild Things: Foursome looks, well, ugly, though no doubt much of the problem lies in the film's shoddy production values and on-the-cheap construction rather than some blunder in the transfer-to-Blu-ray process.

Wild Things: Foursome Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Wild Things: Foursome's DTS-HD MA 5.1 lossless soundtrack fares a bit better than its counterpart on the video side of the ledger, but this is by no means a rip-roaring reference-grade presentation. It does deliver a mostly crisp music presentation that's a bit raw and rough around the edges but is otherwise generally solid and highly listenable, often accompanied by a strong, pulsating low end. The track makes extensive use of the back channels, though some effects sound unnaturally inserted into the track or at least played at a volume that gives them a more detached and phony rather than natural and enveloping feel, particularly evident as partygoer chatter is heard in the background in one early scene. More subtle atmospherics -- a light blowing wind or the background din of an in-use mechanic's garage -- play as more balanced and pleasing to the ear. Gunshots; revving engines; racing speedboats; and other, stronger effects usually don't sound too bad, and dialogue is balanced and consistently discernible. While not a memorable listen, Wild Things: Foursome's DTS track makes for the highlight of this disc.

Wild Things: Foursome Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Wild Things: Foursome features only BD-Live functionality and 1080p trailers for Youth in Revolt, Chloe, Harry Brown, The Bounty Hunter, and Unthinkable.

Wild Things: Foursome Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Yup, Wild Things: Foursome is a bad movie. There's no way around it, for looking at the picture from every conceivable angle reveals a film that's thematically irrelevant, boring to a fault, woefully acted, lazily directed, and not even all that erotic. There are far better ways to spend 90 minutes in front of the television, whether the potential viewer is looking for something with a superior story, better action, fewer clothes, or more eroticism. The original Wild Things, while far from classic cinema, delivers pretty much all of that, but in all fairness it's hard to expect much more than backwash from a direct-to-video fourth outing of a franchise that probably should have stopped after the first movie. For those that absolutely must see Wild Things: Foursome, Sony's Blu-ray serves up a passable lossless soundtrack but a subpar picture quality and no extras. Leave this one on the shelf.