White Elephant Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		1.5

White Elephant Blu-ray Movie Review

Re-gift or re-watch?

Reviewed by Randy Miller III July 26, 2022

Bruce Willis' public health announcement several months ago signaled the sudden end of a legendary career with no shortage of hits, the occasional misfire, and more than a dozen films made during the past two years. Most of the latter have been micro-budget, direct-to-video fare with little creative input from the actor; physically undemanding roles for an easy paycheck that sold themselves on pure name value alone. Almost none of these films is worth watching -- at least more than once -- and you can add another one to that steaming pile with Jesse V. Johnson's White Elephant, a lukewarm but earnest crime thriller that delivers laughable camp and over-the-top violence in almost equal measure, but also takes itself way too seriously and ends up being kind of dour and depressing in the process.

Like most of Willis' recent low-budget affairs, White Elephant isn't really his show even if he's easily the biggest draw. He mostly sits around as an underworld kingpin named Arnold guiding his right-hand man Gabriel (Michael Rooker), an ex-Marine enforcer who works with Carlos (Vadhir Derbez) to handle negotiations between rival Mexican and Russian criminal organizations. When Carlos' explosive act of revenge against an uncooperative mob boss is seen by detective Flynn (Olga Kurylenko) and her partner Jim (Josef Cannon), Arnold's long-standing tradition of "no surviving witnesses" must be enforced. But while half of the clean-up goes off without a hitch, Flynn proves to be a tough cookie and even earns the sympathy of Gabriel, who's also nursing the tragic loss of his wife several years ago. Tension ebbs and flows as everybody's looking for some kind of payback or closure; both arrive in bloody, frenetic spurts as White Elephant lurches toward its conclusion, a violent standoff between multiple parties that keeps the count high.

Given the pretty awful track record of Bruce Willis' recent direct-to-video associations (which hit rock bottom with last year's Apex), some may not expect much out of White Elephant... and while it's far from even an above-average effort regardless of budget limitations, an olive branch should at least be extended to its well-staged action scenes. Though surprisingly and almost absurdly violent at times -- sometimes for the better, sometimes worse -- they carry their own weight and seem to have been done with mostly practical effects. However... it's obvious that the same level of care wasn't taken with White Elephant's script, as its awful dialogue and clichéd plot developments can't generate much in the way of excitement. And they don't make sense, either: violent revenge plots are discussed in the middle of public restaurants during lunch hour. A massive shoot-out with heavy artillery takes place in suburbia and no police are called. One main character is supposed to be a badass but couldn't be more forgettable. Hell, John Malkovich even shows up briefly as Arnold's lawyer and does nothing but speak about Greek history in slow, stammering tones.

It all adds up to a film that's kinda entertaining, kinda exciting, and kinda stupid the more you think about it. White Elephant will likely be one of Willis' last on-screen supporting roles and, if I'm being totally honest, it's only halfway memorable because it's not as bad as some of the other bottom-of-the-barrel stuff he's appeared in recently. Even so, White Elephant may be worth a look for those with a soft spot for low-budget action, but sadly RLJ Entertainment's Blu-ray doesn't offer much in the way of lasting support: not only is the A/V presentation hit-or-miss (perhaps due to its source material), but the complete lack of extras will likely limit blind buys even at its current price point.

White Elephant Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

In a word, "fine". White Elephant's 1080p transfer on RLJ Entertainment's Blu-ray wears its unfussy, low-budget roots on its sleeve and neither stands out in a crowd nor disappoints from a visual perspective. Image detail, color saturation, and density are all good and even more so in well-lit or outdoor locations, only dipping into less impressive territory during nighttime or underlit scenes where mild black crush, softness, and a few noisy artifacts can be spotted. The main feature fills up most of this single-layered disc and runs at a solid bit rate, suffering from precious few encoding issues such as banding and posterization, which only appear a handful of times if you're looking for them. Overall, it's good work on a budget and shows no major room for improvement under the circumstances.

White Elephant Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The same modest praise can't be given White Elephant's DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio mix, which squishes most of its dialogue to the center while letting stray action scenes and the sporadic original score hold down the left, right, and rear channels. This wouldn't be all that bad if everything were cleanly recorded but many conversations suffer from a hollow overall presence that's sometimes hampered by slight distortion and background hiss, even in locations where such issues shouldn't have been a problem. (A few conversations also suffer from obvious ADR, and Bruce Willis' didn't do his own in at least one scene.) Nonetheless, it's not a total loss as the action scenes carry weight and conversations are still perfectly intelligible, but those hoping for a fully immersive audio experience won't get one here.

Optional English (SDH) and Spanish subtitles are included during the main feature.

White Elephant Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

This one-disc release ships in a standard keepcase with vaguely retro cover artwork, a matching slipcover, and a promotional insert. No bonus features are included either, not that I'm all that surprised.

White Elephant Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Jesse V. Johnson's White Elephant isn't quite as terrible as most of those other bargain-basement Bruce Willis films released in recent months, but it barely even approaches average territory thanks to a weak script that seeps its way into performances, pacing, and an overall feeling of "meh". But it's at least got more than a few well-staged action sequences and a few stray bright spots, making White Elephant possibly worth a good once-over for die-hand fans of the cast and crew. RLJ Entertainment's Blu-ray doesn't fare much better, with a decent-at-best A/V presentation and zero bonus features -- only the price tag might save this one from a rental-only recommendation.