Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		2.0
Audio		2.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		1.5

V.I. Warshawski Blu-ray Movie Review

V.I. is D.O.A.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman May 9, 2011

You're a female "dick," right?

V.I. Warshawski (a mouthful, more so even in Turner's rough but sultry pronunciation) is a throwback noir Detective film with modern sensibilities. The person in peril is still a female, but so too is the dark and mysterious private eye whose legs are as long the list of men who fall under charms, and her skills are on par with the men against whom she competes and fights throughout the movie. She and her de facto sidekick -- who's also the same girl who's hired Warshawski to investigate her father's death -- both use their innate feminine charms and wiles to facilitate their investigation and piece together the clues that will lead to an awful lot of hurt, but hopefully justice, too. This is a fine twist on an old genre, at least on paper. Based on a series of stories by Author Sara Paretsky, V.I. Warshawski doesn't translate well to film, at least not under the guidance of Director Jeff Kanew (Gotcha!) who builds a routine motion picture that lacks that gritty, shadowy edge that's the hallmark of these sorts of pictures. Additionally, never does he really exploit the film's unique angle except to make sure a tough-as-nails but still-glamorous Kathleen Turner looks good no matter the time nor place in the movie, her wardrobe, or whatever bumps and bruises accumulate on her face along the way.

Go ahead, make my night.

V.I. Warshawski (Kathleen Turner, Romancing the Stone) is a private eye living in one of Chicago's best apartments -- one that overlooks Wrigley Field -- and who makes a living peeking into places she otherwise has no business of looking. She might have a knack for problem-solving and people-watching, but she can't sort out her own personal life. Her relationship with reporter Murray Ryerson (Jay O. Sanders) is on the rocks, but when she sees hunky ex-hockey player "Boom-Boom" Grafalk (Stephen Meadows) walk into a bar, she knows that she just has to have him. Their relationship quickly turns into the hottest and most dangerous game in town; Boom-Boom turns up dead, but not before leaving his daughter Kat (Angela Goethals) in Warshawski's charge. Signs suggest that Boom-Boom's death was no accident; Kat hires Warshawski to solve the crime, but neither Kat nor Warshawski will like what they uncover.

There's no reason why V.I. Warshawski shouldn't be a superior movie. Sexy lead in a unique position of power and authority? Check. Complex mystery? Check. Strong source material? Check. A good supporting cast? Check. Quality direction and an engrossing script? Uh, check-minus and check-minus. V.I. Warshawski is a paper tiger of cinema, a movie that should be lean and mean but is instead content to play it by the book, sacrifice a real edge for light and ineffective humor, and never fully take advantage of the gender-defying lead character except as a means of advancing the story and a hook that promises more than what's ultimately delivered. The film is too innocent and easy, the characters too flat, and the direction too stale. Even the film's efforts at a harsh edge only come across as light and playful; where there should be real drama and danger the film just tickles its audience and dances around the periphery, never daring to really de-glamorize the story and make this the hard-R sort of movie it should have been, instead of earning its rating because of a few F-bombs.

As if the absence of the darker, grittier façade weren't debilitating enough, V.I. Warshawski plays out at a snail's pace. The film clocks in at under ninety minutes but feels almost twice as long, going lengthy stretches without substantially furthering the plot, building up characters, or engaging in some kind of palpable excitement. Surely, not every film -- and certainly not one like this -- needs to be edited at a Michael Bay pace, but it can't slog through the script, either. There's very little balance here, but fortunately the film's two leading ladies carry it to the point that Warshawski is at least watchable, albeit a watchable mess. Kathleen Turner is great in the lead; she would have probably been better still had the script pushed her and her character further, but she handles the delicate balance that is being a female in a male-dominated profession very well. She's convincing as a woman who's unafraid to buck traditions and stereotypes, strong enough to survive in a man's world but still know who she is and what her femininity can accomplish for her that a man in her postion might not so easily achieve. Angela Goethals is superb as her potty-mouthed, physically tough, but emotionally fragile employer/sidekick/friend, playing a fairly complex and plausible part as a girl in mourning who's been thrust into a high-stakes game of money, life, and death.

V.I. Warshawski Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

V.I. Warshawski debuts on Blu-ray with a rough and substandard 1080i transfer. Maybe the best thing one could say about this transfer is that it's "stable." It'll hold up on larger displays in a way a DVD couldn't, but viewers will note problems and inconsistencies even on moderately-sized screens. There's very little in the way of strong textures and details; in this regard, the image doesn't look much better than an up-converted standard definition presentation. A few shots around the city are sturdy, but faces are smooth and the image is flat. Colors are dull throughout, but in the film's defense there are plenty of dark, low-light scenes to begin with. A bit of grain is retained over the image, but a moderate amount of pops and scratches are also present. A touch of aliasing is visible in a couple of scenes, and light-to-moderate swirling background blocking is also evident. Flesh tones are steady, but slight black crush is a constant problem. V.I. Warshawski seems to be the victim of a quick-and-dirty Blu-ray transfer. It'll hold up at a glance, but not under scrutiny.

V.I. Warshawski Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

V.I. Warshawski's paltry DTS-HD MA 2.0 lossless soundtrack fares no better than its video counterpart. This is one dull-sounding movie; very little life and almost no energy define nearly the entirety of the track. Oddly enough, things start out really well; the film's theme music that plays alongside the opening titles displays excellent qualities. It's not just loud, it's spacious, crisp, and satisfying, sounding a whole lot more robust, clear, and room-filling than anything else the track has to offer. It's almost all downhill from there; city atmospherics are present but not particularly engrossing, and only a zooming train passing by right outside a window returns the sensation of the quality presentation alluded to at the beginning. The track lacks body, and even gunfire sounds tinny and absent punch. Dialogue, too, is often hollow and lifeless. This is another one of those "serviceable" tracks that gets listeners through the movie, but it does almost nothing more than convey the essentials.

V.I. Warshawski Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

V.I. Warshawski features no supplements.

V.I. Warshawski Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

V.I. Warshawski is one of the ever-growing lists of films that deserved to be better. The idea is sound, but the execution just isn't there. Despite strong performances from Kathleen Turner and Angela Goethals, Director Jeff Kanew's picture is lacking in pace, intensity, and the grittiness that seems to want to be a part of the movie but never quite is. A serviceable Mystery/Thriller but one soon quickly forgotten and lost behind superior films of the same style, V.I. Warshawski just never achieves the level of success that always seems right there for the taking but was seemingly lost somewhere on the way to the end product. Mill Creek's Blu-ray release of V.I. Warshawski washes out, featuring lackluster technical presentations and no extras. This is one to skip.