Top Secret! Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		2.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		2.0
Overall		2.0

Top Secret! Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Martin Liebman May 27, 2022

Jim Abrahams and David and Jerry Zucker were the minds behind the 1977 fan favorite The Kentucky Fried Movie but the trio really burst onto the scene in 1980 with the smash hit Airplane! which to this day remains a staple of the Disaster movie genre parody with its deep ties to the classic Airport franchise. Their next big project was 1984's Top Secret! , a spoof of pretty much anything and everything, but mostly tied to Cold War Thrillers of the decades prior. The film really has no focus, and not much of a story, so can a pre-Top Gun Val Kilmer, making his feature film debut, and some comedy sketch magic, carry the film to success? Eh...sort of...maybe...not really.

The plot largely defies a synopsis because there is very little of a plot of which to speak, but the gist of it goes something like this: Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer) is an Elvis-like Rock and Roll idol who makes the girls swoon and, the government hopes, the Communist bloc fall to its knees. Nick has been turned super spy and is sent into the lion's den in East Germany in the present day (even though it still has the look of the World War II era) in order to foil a plot to destroy the world. As he races against time, he takes the time to engage in various musical numbers and spoof sketches all for the audience's entertainment, much to the chagrin of whatever loose plotting actually exists in the film.

Indeed, the plot doesn't matter much in Top Secret!, because all of it is a very loose framework for the film to make some very marginal semblance of logical sense and flow for its sketches and skits. The film struggles not because of its lack of focus, however, but because of the hit or miss nature of the sketches themselves. Some of them are very funny in isolation (they are all in isolation, more or less, truth be told) and some of them are not. There is some humor value to all of them, but the random, seemingly unconnected nature of them seems only to degrade their impact. Cold War here, Elvis there, Blue Lagoon, and The A-Team are amongst some of the more overtly obvious plays in the film, and they just sort of appear randomly. Zucker, Abrahams, and Zucker at least put it all together with a semblance of filmmaking competence, unlike some of the more recent parodies (Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie) which literally just tossed as much pop culture garbage at the screen as possible in hopes that some of it would stick. None of it ever does in those films, but with at least an eye to lasting humor and a bit of technical know-how Top Secret! manages to entertain through at least portions of its runtime.

Kilmer delights in his screen debut, at least clearly having fun with the role and refusing to allow the absentee plotting and wayward gags and sketches to interfere with his performance. While he has next to no serious character development, he capably goes along with the flow and puts in the work to lift each scene to satisfactory result. Various co-stars also seem gleeful to do their part, including Peter Cushing, playing a weird (and deformed) bookstore clerk in the film's most magical sequence, which is randomly played in reverse.

Top Secret! Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

After just a few moments of watching, it's no secret that Top Secret! is in desperate need of a better transfer. While hardly the worst catalogue release on the market, this one is very middling, suffering from some obvious encode flaws and sloppy grain management that hinder its success. Backgrounds are messy, defined by chunky and unwieldy grain. It is clear that the image has undergone some processing, leaving the grain looking meshy, details broken, and clarity lacking. Macro blocking artifacts are visible too, though mercifully not to any seriously debilitating extent. Resultantly, the picture shows precious little in terms of expert detail, though certainly overall clarity and sharpness exceed standard definition material. Colors are not particularly bold, lacking pop and pizazz but offering enough core stability to satisfy base requirements. However, black crush is obvious. Whites are not very rich and skin tones look pasty and flat. The source is at least free of serious spotting and speckling.

Top Secret! Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Top Secret!'s soundtrack is presented in the DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 lossless configuration but mostly favors a front-heavy presence. The opening title song does feature some token surround content, but the posture is decidedly front heavy. There's also not much depth or detail to the music, either. Still, everything is generally well prioritized and clean, though some of the lack of polish (which appears more inherent to the source rather than Paramount's and DTS' audio encode) and absentee surround vitality do reduce the impact of various scenes, especially when Nick is performing on stag to a gaggle of googly-eyed girls. Almost no serious atmospheric or action content falls into the backs, either, and clarity is never elevated beyond "acceptable." Dialogue is at least clear, well prioritized, and center positioned for the duration.

Top Secret! Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

This Blu-ray release of Top Secret! contains an audio commentary track, alternate scenes, a famous sequence revisited, and a trailer. No DVD copy is included, but Paramount has bundled in a digital copy code voucher. This release does not ship with a slipcover.

• Audio Commentary: Directors Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker; Producers Jon Davidson and Hunt Lowry; and Moderator Fred Rubin talk up the film in this zesty and crowded, yet fun and informative, large group commentary track.
• Alternate Scenes (480i, 1.78:1): Included are One Little Apple (0:33), Fetch (0:44), Thirsty, (0:49), and Burning Passion (0:47).
• Bookstore Backwards (480i, 1.78:1, 1:43): The famous sequence, which is screened in reverse in the film, is presented here in normal forward motion.
• Top Secret! Theatrical Trailer (480i, 1.78:1, 1:31).

Top Secret! Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Top Secret! does not rival the best of the "ZAZ" (Zucker, Abrahams, and Zucker) films, largely because of its lack of a focused plot amidst the gags, but it's a worthwhile time killer that delights at times yet does tend to drag in others. Paramount's Blu-ray is very middling, much like the film itself. The video is disappointing, the audio is OK, and the supplements are few, but the reverse of the reverse bookstore scene and the group commentary track are at least the highlight treats. Worth a look for genre fans.