The Woods Have Eyes Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		0.5
Audio		1.5
Extras		1.0
Overall		1.0

The Woods Have Eyes Blu-ray Movie Review

When it's all said and done, they also have intestines, brains, blood, and all variety of human remains, too.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman January 26, 2015

Someone's always gotta ruin these little innocent sojourns into the woods, and it's usually big, hulking backwoods ne'er-do-well meatheads who don't take too kindly to a bunch of city folk invading their space. And who can blame them? Peace and quiet is a valuable commodity in this day and age, and while killing the trespassers -- usually in some gruesome manner -- is a bit on the extreme end of the "possible solutions" list, it always seems like these people's modus operandi when it comes to dealing with the unwanted. In The Woods Have Eyes (not to be confused with The Hills Have Eyes or, um, The Hills Have Eyes; hey, wait, just how many natural formations do have eyes, anyway?), a handful of young pups take a trip to the woods and, yup, see a bit more than they should see when they visit a supposedly off-limits cabin. One would think that movie characters would smarten up considering that every one of these places of lore and urban legend always seems teeming with bloodthirsty sub-humanoids just yearning for a piece of fresh meat. Oh well, gotta keep the low-rent Horror industry churning along somehow, and kudos to the countless number of teens sacrificed in the name of good old country Horror entertainment.

Eyes can't see here.

Several teens, including Carmine (Joseph Anthony) and Ernie (Michael Bolten), travel to the woods for a get-together with a few other families. Carmine would rather spend time with his girlfriend Billie Jo (Amber Freeman), but his pal Joe (Garrett Harrison) talks him and handful of teens into taking a little trip deeper into the woods in search of a cabin said to house a legendary bad guy they call "Cappie." They find they house, but they also find trouble. The boys become the prey of a sadistic bunch of overgrown men, but thanks to Ernie's fascination with survival, the group begins to turn the tables on their pursuers and just might, then, come out of the night alive.

Truth be told, The Woods Have Eyes is pretty tame compared to some of the bigger and better entries like the aforementioned Hills or other "country folk prey on city slickers" movies like any number of the overextended Wrong Turn films. While it ramps up the gore -- albeit gore presented with very little in terms of believable authenticity -- in the final act, much of the film plays with a nearly family-friendly vibe in a Home Alone and The Goonies meet generic survival horror sort of way, all on a shoestring budget. It's very simple and straightforward with little filler as it progresses through genre basics, filling in what little bit of a plot there is along the way, which isn't much more beyond "go to the cabin, get in conflict, run around and try and survive." It's a simple affair with basic, one-trick characters (the leader, the fat kid, the kid into survivalism, the mentally handicapped bad guy, the muscular bad guy, etc.) who only serve a purpose of pushing the story forward, but the film does, to its credit, paint them as fairly realistic individuals, helped in large part by performances that are, surprisingly, not at all awful.

The movie's lack of dramatic complexity actually serves it well. It's clear that this is a very limited production in terms of, well, everything, from acting to special effects, from the photography to the Blu-ray presentation. Yet there's a surprising sense of refinement to several of the pieces in place. The movie displays a commendable steadiness in terms of its technical production. It looks cheap but never feels it, it looks simple but feels a bit more complex. The picture and sound are crummy, but the sense of urgency and baseline know-how manage to elevate the movie a couple of ticks above where it should probably be, which is at the very bottom of the barrel along with other movies shot with next to no budget or care for feeling even the least bit big (Wicked Lake comes to mind as a perfect comparison of a similar sort of production that's just flat-out awful in every conceivable way). In fact, The Woods Have Eyes ranks pretty close to "best case scenario" for a movie of such meager means. It comes together fairly well, with the aforementioned performances, most of which never feel forced in the least, leading the charge and elevating the movie well beyond expectations (though it's still a fairly bad movie in total, yet still much better than it should be). Now, about that ending...ugh. Watch and find out.

The Woods Have Eyes Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The Woods Have Eyes arrives on Blu-ray with an MPEG-2, 1080p transfer framed in a 1.79:1 window. Most will find this image to be inferior to many DVDs. The image is soft and fuzzy and absent any sort of complex detail. It's flat and pasty with no life or texture. Colors are equally dull. Heavy blockiness is evident at times, particularly in some darker backgrounds that are themselves murky, pale, purplish, and very noisy. There's not much more to say. It's an eyesore sort of transfer -- see the screenshots -- that's pretty near the bottom of the barrel in terms of Blu-ray quality.

The Woods Have Eyes Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The Woods Have Eyes features a Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack that fares a touch better than its video counterpart. The track employs some fairly spaced music that's lacking clarity and robustness but that does enjoy some healthy surround support. The musical crescendo at film's end is particularly muddy and murky. Atmospherics, such as the lightly gusty winds in the woods or even the rumble heard inside a car, are fairly integrated but absent much in the way of lifelike audio transparency. Ambient effects seem to completely drop out a few times; a shot at about the 31:25 mark is a good example. The back channels carry a couple of distinct effects, such as a shotgun blast heard in the back at around the 46:45 mark. Generally, though, heavier effects like gunfire lack much oomph and authenticity. Dialogue, for the most part, is baseline intelligible but, like everything else, lacks in precision clarity and lifelike reproduction.

The Woods Have Eyes Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

The Woods Have Eyes contains a stunt featurette and a a blooper reel. No "top menu" is included; all features and disc options must be accessed in-film via the "pop-up" menu.

• The Making of a Stunt (1080p, 5:42): A look at the preparations for, and the execution of, a stunt.
• Blooper Reel (1080p, 7:11).

The Woods Have Eyes Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

The Woods Have Eyes is an effective no-budget movie. There are far, far worse out there, some with a bigger budget, some from name studios, some with recognizable actors, and a wretched few that can claim all three categories. The Woods Have Eyes manages a decent pace; a fair, if not completely baseline, technical shoot (never mind the low cost equipment); and good-to-robust performances from most of the players. That's a lot of good for a movie like this, and while it's still a far cry from the best of the best, it's nevertheless a solid entertainer, particularly if one can look past its shortcomings -- which include its rather putrid Blu-ray presentation -- and enjoy it for what it is and, to steal a phrase that has nothing to do with the movie, being all that it can be.