Rating summary

Movie		0.5
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		3.5
Overall		1.0

The Nutcracker: The Untold Story Blu-ray Movie Review

Cancel Christmas

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf March 17, 2012

If Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky were alive today, I’m fairly certain he would be chasing after filmmaker Andrei Konchalovsky with a pitchfork.

The grand holiday ballet, a staple of the Christmas season, is returned to its literary roots with “The Nutcracker: The Untold Story,” a stunningly ill-conceived cinematic monstrosity that perverts fanciful dreamscapes and merry pirouettes into a nightmare realm of rat-based evildoing. The Sugar Plum Fairies have been fitted for a noose, folks. Would you settle for a 90-million-dollar migraine machine that reconfigures the tenets of Nazi rule to fit a steampunk-inspired family film musical?

On Christmas Eve, Mary (Elle Fanning) and Max (Aaron Michael Drozen) are paid a visit by their uncle, Albert Einstein (Nathan Lane, natch), who gifts the kids various dolls for entertainment, including a special nutcracker for the young girl. Dragged into a subconscious realm of dubious magic, Mary learns the young nutcracker, named N.C. (voiced by Shirley Henderson), is actually an imprisoned prince (played by Charlie Rowe) who lost control of his kingdom to the wicked Rat King (John Turturro) and his army of gun-totin’ rodents. Forcing the community into ghettos, the Rat King harnesses the power of burned toys to energize his vile plans of domination, looking to secure lasting glory and please the bitter Rat Queen (Frances de la Tour). Mary, hoping to save her pal N.C. from doom, rounds up a posse of toys and takes on the Rat King, armed with dimples, a few songs, and a dog-eared copy of “Mein Kampf.”

Andrei Konchalovsky has never been celebrated as a world-class filmmaker (perhaps best known for co-writing “Andrei Rublev” and directing “Tango & Cash”), but I never figured the man was capable of something this distasteful. I can sense the appeal of the project to the writer/director, who sets out to merge the orchestral soar of Tchaikovsky’s work with the literary origins of “The Nutcracker” from author E.T.A. Hoffmann, who arranged a complex and sinister world of fantasy mischief to reinforce unpredictable seasonal magic. Konchalovsky’s ambition is intriguing, but what’s ultimately slapped onscreen gives new meaning to the term “hot mess.”

While opening with a parade of colorful Christmas tree ornaments to sell the holiday atmosphere, the film soon reveals its madness with the Einstein introduction, boldly pronouncing the eye-crossing shellacking of dreadful whimsy that quickly overwhelms the picture. We’re soon treated to screechy children trying to “act,” the Rat King’s electrocution of a great white shark (good lord), a bizarrely graphic toy beheading, the miracle of an enchanted rock, and a series of tuneless songs from Tim Rice that bravely attempt to add what Tchaikovsky’s masterwork always needed: lyrics. The entire enterprise feels like one of those daft foreign film gems lost on the matinee entertainment battlefields of the 1960s and ‘70s, where everything is played with nuclear earnestness to serve the kid film good, despite clear evidence that the production couldn’t successfully place one foot in front of the other without stumbling to the ground.

There’s this whole business with the Rat Kingdom as well, which is the defining bit of lunacy at the core of this doomsday device. Granted, Rats are rarely handed heroic posture, but Konchalovsky matches the rise of the rodent to the drive of the Nazis, down to leather costumes and the whole toy burning business. It’s a wrongheaded artistic decision on a grand widescreen scale, creating monumental moviewatching discomfort as historical tears are reprehensibly sugared for this PG-rated production. To his credit, the director doesn’t back down from his loopy vision, encouraging an occupation ambiance of propaganda posters, roaring ovens, robotic guard dogs, and goose-stepping soldiers. Of course, there’s John Turturro out front destroying what’s left of his career prancing around in a Kate Gosselin wig while singing awful tunes about violent rat rule. I assume Konchalovsky was hunting for levity, but the performance sinks the film to impossibly deplorable depths. Did I forget to mention the huge fanged jaws that protrude from the Rat King’s mouth when he’s in a particularly threatening mood? Kids, fill up on nightmare fuel here.

The Nutcracker: The Untold Story Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (2.39:1 aspect ratio) presentation captures the intensely designed look of the film, providing excellent detail on character make-up and cavernous interiors, permitting the viewer to truly study the frame, poring over subtle facial movement and ornate set construction. The rat particulars, as ghoulish as they are, offer textures that are quite interesting. Colors look superb, boasting dazzling red and green Christmas hues that remain stable and exciting, while scenes of fascist rats retain the darker, drained palette, carrying a distinct militaristic look that contrasts well with the brighter colors of the heroes. Shadow detail is strained some, losing a feel for distances and fabrics in low-lit environments, solidifying a few scenes of evening activity. Skintones cover a range of hues, yet sustain their intended color, with magical beings providing a pleasing glow. The viewing experience is appealing on the "Nutcracker" disc, which seems cruel when dealing with a movie that barely holds attention.

The Nutcracker: The Untold Story Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 5.1 DTS-HD MA sound mix has an advantage here with the wonderful music provided early on by Tchaikovsky, generating a warm, seasonal impression with crisp instrumentation and a hefty circular feel to reinforce the fantasy atmosphere. In fact, the finest moments of the track come when dealing directly with scoring and the musical numbers, offering a full submersion into the feature with familiar sounds sold with a bold presentation. Surrounds are used primarily to feel out the spacious locations, keeping a firm handle on echo and distance, while mob scenes provide additional vocal energy. Directional activity isn't overly anxious, but deployed comfortably. Dialogue exchanges sound clean and deep, with hefty ADR work preserving every syllable for your listening pleasure. Low-end is satisfactory, providing some rumble with action sequences and moments of destruction.

The Nutcracker: The Untold Story Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Making Of (54:24, SD) is a stunningly in-depth exploration of the development and production of the "The Nutcracker," winding all the way back to 1969, where Konchalovsky first came up the idea of bringing the material to the big screen. In 2007, the filmmaker finally received a chance to bring his dream project to life. Interviews with cast and crew truly illuminate the creative drive fueling the movie, supplying a rich understanding of intent, however misguided it may be. The documentary observes the extraordinary moviemaking process, studying scoring, set design, and make-up work, offering a satisfying comprehension of labor and crooked imagination. While I found the film to be absolutely terrible, this BTS effort displays such intense effort from a large-scale production. The only thing that appears to be missing is an explanation on how it all went so horribly wrong. This documentary is actually better than the movie itself, and I would recommend a viewing to anyone curious about this disastrous feature. Better to absorb the backstage glory than endure the screen chaos.

• A Theatrical Trailer has not been included.

The Nutcracker: The Untold Story Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"The Nutcracker" is genuinely grueling to watch. What Konchalovsky thought he would gain by contorting the source material to fit some grand interpretational signature is yet another mystery for the towering pile of mysteries. However, I have my theories on the true inspiration motivating the madness here. Something tells me if I bit into the negative, it might taste like whisky, insomnia, and repressed childhood trauma.