Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		3.5
Audio		4.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		1.5

The Girl Who Knew Too Much Blu-ray Movie Review

Holy crap, Batman.

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman May 31, 2013

Many actors drift through years of unemployment or low employment, praying for just one important role that will help them to establish their careers. And if by chance their prayers are answered—they may wish they had kept their figurative mouths shut. Case in point: Adam West. West had trundled through a number of bit parts and guest shots on various television series throughout the late fifties and early sixties, finally landing a recurring role on the final season of The Detectives, a move that nonetheless failed to really pan out for the actor, as he soon found himself consigned to more supporting roles and guest shots when the series was canceled. While true West fans can point to a number of these parts (including his brief but important role in Robinson Crusoe on Mars), it was of course the 1966-68 television version of Batman the indelibly imprinted the actor’s chiseled (if slightly beefy) good looks and resonant speaking voice on a generation of Baby Boomers. It’s hard to really realize what a phenomenon Batman was in its prime, albeit a relatively short-lived one. Imagine combining the fan frenzy of Twilight with that of Star Wars: The Complete Saga and you might have at least some idea of the cultural imprint Batman left for a couple of years. In a word, the show was everywhere. “Holy” this or “holy” that became instant catchphrases, as did “Bat-“ this or “Bat-“ that. Suddenly ABC, the little network that never quite could found itself broadcasting arguably the hottest show on the airwaves. And West was there in the eye of the storm, probably wondering at least momentarily what the hell had just happened. (It's instructive to note that when Robinson Crusoe on Mars debuted on television during the Batman era, it was trumpeted as "starring Adam West", even though his role is relatively minor.) The Batman craze was so pronounced that once the series ended, West was virtually unemployable, certainly a bitterly ironic pill for a journeyman actor who had worked for so long in largely thankless roles and who had finally—finally—briefly grabbed hold of a brass ring. And so, what was an erstwhile Caped Crusader to do? Though I have no corroborating information to support this thesis, my hunch is that Westco, the co-credited production firm of The Girl Who Knew Too Much, must certainly have been an Adam West Company, one designed to help the actor navigate his roiling post-Batman waters. According to the usually reliable IMDb, The Girl Who Knew Too Much was Westco’s only production, and it’s frankly not hard to understand why. While the film might be a valiant effort to allow West to break free of Batman’s spandex constraints, as a film it’s an often laughable affair, with some of the most risible dialogue in memory and a plot that doesn’t just defy credulity, it taunts it like, well, the Joker menacing Batman.

One of the things that made Batman so hugely enjoyable was that West was a fairly wooden actor, something that played into the series’ arch camp-tastic approach. The good news is that West seemed only too aware of being in on the joke himself. Unfortunately, that same wooden quality is ported over to The Girl Who Knew Too Much, and not only does West not seem to be kidding anymore, neither does anyone else in the film. This stilted approach reaps unexpected laughs throughout the enterprise. There’s an early scene in the film between Johnny Cain (Adam West), erstwhile adventurer and current nightclub owner, and his ex-girlfriend Revel (Nancy Kwan) that aims to revisit Casablanca iconic “We’ll always have Paris” reminiscence, but which comes off as a veritable gaggle of giggles due to West’s uptight delivery and Kwan’s befuddled mumbling.

The plot of The Girl Who Knew Too Much zigzags so insanely between several disparate elements that it lives up to one character’s priceless line, “Things get confusing”. Some hitmen abduct a trash collector, knock him unconscious, and then put his truck in reverse to smash it through the wall of Johnny’s nightclub, thereby killing a syndicate bigwig named Grinaldi who was sitting in a booth on the other side of the wall. Already incredulity should be creeping in to your assessment of this film, but, wait, there’s even more to come. Cain runs down to his club to meet his old buddy, police Lieutenant Crawford (Nehemiah Persoff), who has the sneaking suspicion this was no mere accident, but doesn’t have proof. Soon Cain is summoned by the surviving members of Grinaldi’s syndicate, perhaps only coincidentally code named West, and they tell Cain he has 72 hours to find out what really happened or he’ll be killed. They especially want him to help since he has a background in Eastern art and Grinaldi was supposedly on the trail of some priceless Tibetan statue. More incredulity, anyone?

Cain doesn’t like being blackmailed, but after he starts poking around and ends up getting the worst of a fight, he’s more or less abducted by some CIA agents (I swear I’m not making any of this up) and taken to a CIA chieftain who urges Cain to comply with the syndicate’s wishes, since it turns out the other guy killed in the garbage truck calamity was actually an undercover CIA agent. In the meantime we’ve been introduced to the widow Grinaldi (Patricia Smith, in a performance that has to be seen to be believed—and maybe not even then), an alcoholic lass who for some reason hangs out at the local community theater and declaims lines from plays (at least that’s what I’m assuming she’s declaiming). And just for good measure there’s Allandice (Robert Alda), one of the syndicate’s chieftains who seems awfully interested in Cain’s activities. Lest that not be enough weirdness for you, back at Johnny’s club none other than jazz great Buddy Greco is cast as a piano playing lounge singer who warbles some of the most execrable material imaginable, always to an adoring bunch of well heeled middle aged folks who smile and nod approvingly and then burst into rapturous applause after every truly awful song ends.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much is one of those films that’s so bad it’s good—except that it isn’t, really. Eagle eyed viewers may get a kick out of seeing West’s stunt double step in anytime there’s a fight scene. This is funny for two reasons. Hero Johnny Cain gets the living daylights beaten out of him repeatedly throughout this film. He is without a doubt one of the most incompetent action heroes imaginable, at one point getting thrown through a plate glass window after having been walloped for several minutes. The other reason this is funny is that the stunt double looks nothing like Adam West. He is a different height, a different weight and he has a different hair color. In terms of the fight scenes, there’s a laugh out loud moment late in the film when Johnny accosts an elderly man who had set Johnny up for one of his many thrashings earlier in the film. Johnny returns the favor in this scene, beating the frightened elder to within an inch of his life and then throwing him through a plate glass window, just for good measure.

Film aficionados will know that The Girl Who Knew Too Much shares its title with a much better remembered film, Mario Bava’s 1963 opus which is often credited with starting the giallo genre. The American film uses some of Bava’s cast in bits, but some may end up wondering why they just didn’t try to remake the Italian film rather than indulging in this hodgepodge of ridiculousness.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The Girl Who Knew Too Much is presented on Blu-ray courtesy of Olive Films with an AVC encoded 1080p transfer in 1.78:1. This release falls very much in line with the recent 1960s and 1970s releases we've been seeing from Olive, though in this case the elements, while in decent shape, seem to have faded a bit more than usual. Colors are kind of drab throughout this offering, and flesh tones are quite brown most of the time. The film has quite a few nighttime or dimly lit scenes, some which suffer from minor crush. There's very little egregious damage to report, and while the image is never stunningly crisp, it's generally precise and sharp looking, with close-ups revealing adequate fine detail.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The Girl Who Knew Too Much features a lossless DTS-HD Master Audio Mono track that suffices quite well for this film's fairly unambitious sound design. Dialogue comes through loud and clear (for better or worse), and the pretty lamentable score (by Joe Greene, who actually wrote the incredibly lovely "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying" early in his career) also sounds "fine", if by fine you mean there's no distortion. (This is one of the most inept film scores of all time, in my not so humble opinion.) There are some occasional sync problems which may be the result of bad post-looping.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

No supplements are offered on this Blu-ray disc.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

The Girl Who Knew Too Much is one of the funniest films of its era. Unfortunately, it's not a comedy.