The Barbarians Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		3.5
Video		4.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		2.5
Overall		3.5

The Barbarians Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf December 12, 2020

Amid the sword and sorcery craze of the 1980s, someone, somewhere had the bright idea to skip the casting of B-movie actors with gym familiarity, going straight to the Schwarzenegger-ian source with Peter and David Paul. Labeled “the bad boys of bodybuilding,” the Paul Brothers are gifted leading roles in “The Barbarians,” which attempts to deliver a “Conan the Barbarian”-style fantasy adventure with muscle-bound heroes, only on a Cannon Films budget and the director of “Cannibal Holocaust” at the helm. Production polish isn’t readily available, but the feature offers the sheer oddity of the Paul Brothers, who aren’t trained actors but commit to the wacky world of “The Barbarians,” suiting up in loincloth and wielding weapons, ready to participate in a picture that combines low-budget magic and stunt mayhem to give fans of the genre a decent distraction.

In a fantasy world, The Ragnicks are a clan of performers who travel across the land, in possession of a magical ruby that gives Queen Canary (Virginia Bryant) special power. Along the way, Canary adopted twin brothers, Kutchek (Peter Paul) and Gore (David Paul, who passed away last March), with the children raised in the special Ragnicks way. Blocking the possibility of peace is Kadar (Richard Lynch), an evil ruler on the hunt for the ruby to boost his own might, aided by sorceress China (Sheeba Alahani) and Dirtmaster (Michael Berryman). Raiding the Ragnicks but unable to find the ruby, Kadar takes possession of Canary and the twins instead, with the queen begging the madman to spare their young lives. While Canary joins Kadar’s harem, Kutchek and Gore are raised separately in brutal conditions, reuniting as ferocious warriors. Realizing all that’s been lost, the siblings set out to rescue Canary and restore the power of the ruby, joined by Ismene (Eva La Rue), a wily thief offering help on this dangerous quest.

Ruggero Deodato is the director of “The Barbarians,” tasked with creating an entire fantasy world out of a few locations and sets. The helmer certainly puts in the effort to sell the magic and the muscle, but he’s not great with introductions. The picture opens with an extended chase, with Kadar and his mutant goons pursuing a Ragnicks caravan, on a mission to steal the ruby for nefarious purposes. Trouble is, while the Ragnicks are offered some clarity when it comes to history and intent, Kadar’s drive to destroy the traveling clowns isn’t clear, finding character names and motivations elusive for almost the entire first act of the movie. Kudos to Deodato and his plan to wind up “The Barbarians” early, giving viewers a rush of action as the baddies attempt to bring down speeding wagons. And there’s a jaunty score by Pino Donaggio, who fires up synthesizers and supplies big hero themes, giving the endeavor enjoyable lift while it explores attacks and near-misses, with the Ragnicks managing to get the ruby away from Kadar’s control. Canary and the twins aren’t as lucky.

Kutchek and Gore are sent on a very Conan-esque journey of pain, separated and forced to work around the clock in “The Pit,” where they’re whipped and conditioned to hate each other. They also experience one heck of a weight training routine, emerging years (decades?) later as beefy men ready to attack anything they’re ordered to. Liberation comes when the brothers are pitted against each other, soon realizing what’s happened to them. They escape from their imprisonment and set out to make things right with the ruby. Kadar’s subplot is more stationary, with the dark ruler (who sits on a throne held up by slaves) putting his faith in China’s magical influence, keeping his team on a course for the jewel as well. “The Barbarians” scores big time when focusing on the Paul Brothers, who have no thespian presence, but they manage to become goofballs for the Deodato, coming across as the bodybuilders-with-no-acting-training they are. The production gives them ample opportunity to showcase their impressively sculpted bodies, even delivering a hilarious scene where Kutchek (or is it Gore?) manages to avoid being hanged by bulging his neck muscles to a point where he snaps free of his noose.

More feats of strength are presented in “The Barbarians,” following the twins as they try to find a way into Kadar’s secret lair, which naturally involves an arm-wrestling contest. Ismene is added to the mix to offer some feminine appeal, inspiring a bizarre moment where Gore (or is it Kutchek?) calls her the wrong name, leaving La Rue visibly confused. Grand adventure isn’t readily available in “The Barbarians,” but Deodato has his moments, trying to expand the small production with trips to fantasy realms, including Limetree, a dark land ruled by a dragon. Of course, the dragon isn’t majestic, actually quite phallic, but the Paul Brothers seem happy to battle the rubber creation while the helmer makes sure to keep the characters filthy, coating them with mud and dragon guts. More oddity arrives when Kutchek and Gore find Canary, but before they make their escape, they decide to have sex with harem girls in front of their imprisoned mother. It’s a loopy creative choice in a movie that often takes a casual approach to storytelling, and it wouldn’t surprise me to learn most of the picture was made up on the spot.

The Barbarians Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Previously issued on DVD in 2013, "The Barbarians" makes its Blu-ray debut courtesy of Scorpion Releasing, who promise a "brand new HD master" for the AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation. Clarity is generally strong throughout the picture, with production details open for inspection, highlighting fantasy costuming and locations, which explore forests and mountains. Facial surfaces are textured, along with full body displays of skin, as the camera loves to scan the Paul Brothers. Colors are enjoyable, preserving greenery and skintones. Visits to magical lands bring out more varied lighting, with heavier blues. Gold armor retains brightness, and ruby red is potent. Delineation is satisfactory. Grain is fine and film-like. Source is in good condition.

The Barbarians Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix isn't entirely commanding. Scoring cues retain their broad synth position, delivering a clearer appreciation for heroic themes with decent instrumentation. Dialogue exchanges don't emerge with consistent clarity, either struggling with age or inherent production issues. Muddiness is periodic, and harder hits of violence, with explosions and weapon clangs, don't handle with authority.

The Barbarians Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary features film historians Troy Howarth and Nathaniel Thompson.

• And a Theatrical Trailer (1:39, HD) is included.

The Barbarians Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"The Barbarians" isn't a refined "Conan the Barbarian" knock-off, lacking the budget, directorial vision, and the production talent to bring something rousingly ferocious to the screen. Instead, Deodato offers a campy take on bodybuilder heroism, putting his faith into the Paul Brothers and their distinct sibling chemistry and playfulness. The guys are fun to watch, especially when put to use battling enemies and roasting each other, giving the endeavor a distinct presence in the midst of all the fantasy filmmaking sameness. The noose bit alone is worth the price of admission.