The Babymakers Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		1.5
Overall		2.5

The Babymakers Blu-ray Movie Review

Two-fifths of the Broken Lizard troupe makes an otherwise depressingly slow movie tolerable.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman September 27, 2012

We're going to have a family!

Sex sells, there's no denying that, but does a man floundering about on a sperm-soaked floor also sell? Does one man's misadventures for his own aged sperm make the cut? In The Babymakers, the answer to both is a resounding "no," but audiences who can tolerate the steady stream of drivel will at least be rewarded with some uproariously funny performances from Broken Lizard (Super Troopers, Beerfest) Comedians Jay Chandrasekhar (who also directed The Babymakers) and Kevin Heffernan. The Babymakers crafts one of those stories that gets more ridiculous by the minute, every butt-numbing 96 of them, as bumbling heroes effort to make things right but only manage to get everything wrong. It's the sort of Comedy that's been done dozens of times over, maybe not with sperm as the goal but certainly featuring characters making fools of themselves in various manner of slapstick on their way towards whatever MacGuffin the filmmakers make the focal point. The Babymakers would have worked as a short film half or a third of its current length, but as it is it's a classic example of an overexposed plot and a movie drawn out far too much for its own good.

A whole new definition of cradle robbing.

Audrey (Olivia Munn) and Tommy (Paul Schneider) are celebrating their third wedding anniversary. Tommy believes that makes it time to practice a new sort of sex, but Audrey says that it's time they start a family. They try and try and try some more to make a baby. Nine months have passed, and Audrey's still not pregnant. Tommy's inability to knock his wife up becomes the talk of the town, girl gossip and guy talk alike. Everyone has suggestions for Tommy, but he knows he's not at fault: he secretly sold his very healthy sperm years ago to pay for Audrey's wedding ring. Unfortunately, it turns out that, at some point over the past few years, he's suffered a setback and his sperm is no longer viable. His only hope is to recruit his friends (Kevin Heffernan, Nat Faxon, Wood Harris) and join forces with a former Indian mafia man (Jay Chandrasekhar) for hire to break into the sperm bank and retrieve the last vial of viable Tommy sperm that remains.

The Babymakers is like the cinematic equivalent of a revolving door. It spins and spins and spins some more, taking needlessly excess time and effort to get to the other side when a regular old flat door would do the trick just as well and much more efficiently. The revolving door might be fun for a moment, but eventually people are going to want to reach their destination, not continue on in circles ad nauseam for no real end benefit. That's the story of The Babymakers, a whole lot of added nothing in the name of unnecessarily elongating a very straightforward activity. The film certainly finds a few laughs here and there and the plot isn't the most heinously bad or totally unoriginal ever unleashed on audiences, but there's far too much excess filler and long stretches of tedium in between a few laughs, most coming courtesy of Director Jay Chandrasekhar in what might be his best performance yet. The script is at times witty -- there's some great back-and-forth between Doug Flutie lookalike Paul Schneider and Olivia Munn early in the film -- but at times it drags terribly. The movie is completely uneven, though nothing so bad that a good trimming of twenty or thirty minutes wouldn't fix, making it a pretty seriously funny and lean little picture. Unfortunately, "the book" dictates a movie should run at least around ninety minutes, and this definitely feels like a case of runtime rather than plot dictating pace.

However, The Babymakers is made tolerable in its current state by a few standout performances from Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Nat Faxon, and Wood Harris. It's a sad state of affairs when it's the supporting players who offer the most compelling reason to watch, but in this case they're a godsend to a movie in desperate need of something to make it worthwhile. Chandrasekhar is a riot as a thickly accented Indian, a bumbling former mafia figurehead with a fetish for white women and a love for playing music through his television too loudly. Chandrasekhar nails the performance, finding a perfect cadence, a naturally humorous delivery, and his screen presence dominates the picture in every scene. Heffernan is the hilarious sidekick, self-aware of his weight and unafraid to place himself in compromising and unimaginable situations, hanging out of a window with his shorts around his ankles (nothing new) or flailing about on a floor covered in sperm (nasty!). Heffernan, like Chandrasekhar, has a lovable, natural screen presence. Faxon and Harris shine as tertiary players who aren't so critical to the plot but who give the movie some comedic depth that nicely supports the main players. Munn and Schneider don't share much chemistry and their performances are hindered by their generic film paths and predictable arcs.

The Babymakers Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The Babymakers arrives on Blu-ray with a sharp, good-looking 1080p transfer. The image is balanced and highly proficient in every area. Light grain is visible throughout, providing a pleasing film-like texturing. Colors run slightly warm, but balance is fine and the palette is bright and varied. Natural greens, red shirts, or the myriad of hues visible in a grocery store scene impress with their stability and accuracy. Details are strong throughout. The image is crisp and very well defined, consistently sharp and revealing of complex facial textures, fabric wrinkles, and other odds and ends throughout the movie. Black levels are stable and strong, deep and accurate and never appearing too bright or too dark. The print is clean and the transfer is free of any excess eyesores. This is a very good presentation from Millennium Entertainment.

The Babymakers Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The Babymakers features a technically proficient but sonically uninteresting Dolby TrueHD 5.1 lossless soundtrack. This isn't the sort of movie to offer a big, wide, explosive soundtrack; Millennium's presentation is more than adequate, conveying the film's meager sound requirements with ease. Dialogue is firm and accurate, grounded in the center and never lost under any surrounding elements. Music is accurate and spreads nicely to the front sides, whether light background notes or the heavy beats blaring from Ron Jon's television. Light natural ambience drifts into the stage in a few scenes, remaining primarily the property of the front channels. The surrounds are never used to any extensive amount; information nicely spreads cross the front, however. This is a routine sound presentation that supports the movie as well as can be expected.

The Babymakers Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

The Babymakers contains three supplements and a trailer collage.

• Featurette (1080p, 5:01): Cast and crew recount the plot, discuss the characters, speak on the work of Director Jay Chandrasekhar, and pat one another on the back. The piece offers behind the scenes material and interviews.
• Cast & Crew Interviews (1080p, 19:17): A lengthier piece in which the cast and crew basically expand on what they said in the previous supplement.
• Behind the Scenes (1080p, 10:33): Raw on-set footage.
• Previews: Additional Millenium titles.

The Babymakers Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

The Babymakers is a sophomoric Comedy that's far too long and far too dependent on filler to reach a desired runtime. It's bloated to a fault, but somewhere inside there's a lean, hilarious movie jut waiting to come out. The lead characters are rather uninteresting, but the supporting cast dominates and defines the picture. The quartet of Chandrasekhar, Heffernan, Harris, and Faxon make the movie worth watching; just be ready to slog on through way too much crud. Millennium's Blu-ray release of The Babymakers features fine video and audio. A few extras are included. Rent it.