Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		2.5
Audio		3.0
Extras		5.0
Overall		3.0

Terror Firmer Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf March 2, 2020

1999’s “Terror Firmer” is often sold by Troma Entertainment as a satire of their usual production mayhem, with co-writers Patrick Cassidy and Douglas Buck using parts of director Lloyd Kauffman’s book, “All I Need to Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger” (sharing authorship duties with James Gunn), as a starting point for the company’s usual outrageousness, this time focusing on the chaos of no-budget moviemaking. It’s not easy to identify the cleverness of such a creative attempt, because all Troma really does is provide noise, and their runaway train sense of humor frequently destroys anything imaginative about “Terror Firmer,” which could be an illuminating study of Kaufman’s lifelong pursuit of independent freedom in the film world, but it mostly wants to be a grotesque serial killer endeavor with a wafer-thin plot and boundless appreciation for all things disgusting. It’s certainly one of the more extreme efforts from Troma, and one of their most disappointing, with sections of satiric clarity quickly clouded by every single bodily fluid imaginable.

Plot is not the main event in “Terror Firmer,” which loosely tracks the day-to-day work on a new “Toxic Avenger” sequel, directed by Larry (Kaufman), a blind man. Behind-the-scenes, a love triangle forms among crew members, with Jennifer drawn to Casey (Will Keenan) and Jerry (Trent Haaga). There’s a serial killer on the loose as well, picking off crew members and associated perverts.

There should be a bit more to “Terror Firmer,” but there’s little time for storytelling when Kaufman demands complete and utter violence, assuming a punk rock stance to deliver an exhaustively grotesque viewing experience that features gushing wounds and bathroom humor galore, including the prolonged devouring of fecal matter. Minds are warped and bodies are destroyed, and there are lengthy sequences in the movie where all characters only communicate through screaming. Obviously, this is par for the course with Troma Entertainment, a company that’s not afraid to offend, but here, they seem terrified to edit. At nearly two hours in length, “Terror Firmer” doesn’t have the rhythm or brevity to drive home its particular mischief, which extends to jokes about the art of pickling, a “Seinfeld” parody that’s no parody at all, and a strange disparaging of Penny Marshall. Kaufman seeks to numb his audience with repetitive nonsense, which quickly makes the endeavor strictly for the faithful, but even that’s questionable as scenes carry on forever, weirdly attempting to generate a party atmosphere while also trying to suffocate viewers.

Terror Firmer Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Troma Entertainment provides a mild refreshing of "Terror Firmer" for its Blu-ray debut, delivering what appears to be a semi-recent scan for the AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation. The company's lackluster compression efforts destroy any real surge of sharpness, as the image is blocky and softness is common. Detail rarely has potency, struggling to identify facial features and enjoying the wealth of textures the film provides. Locations aren't especially dimensional, especially during city visits. Colors are on the muted side, and there's mild inconsistency at times. Skintones remain in the realm of natural. Greenery and urban decoration pack a bit more punch. Delineation is satisfactory. Source has some scratches and speckling.

Terror Firmer Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 Dolby Digital mix isn't created with nuance. It's a noise machine from the opening scene, but the track delivers a basic understanding of dialogue exchanges, capturing performance choices and general zaniness. Music also offers a bluntness with slightly muddy instrumentation, and most soundtrack selections aren't as powerful as expected. Sound effects are emphasized throughout, securing all sorts of squishiness to best support the gore and grossness.

Terror Firmer Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Disc 1

• Intro (3:23, HD) features Lloyd Kaufman welcoming viewers to the "lovingly recreated, digitally remastered" Blu-ray release of "Terror Firmer." Joined by two background dancers, Kaufman works through some shtick, including footage of Troma at a Mexican parade. The gang also touts interviews and extras on the disc.

• Commentary #1 features Kaufman.

• Commentary #2 features actors Will Keenan, Debbie Rochon, and Trent Haaga.

• Commentary #3 features editor Gabriel Friedman.

• "20 Years Later" (14:13, HD) is meant to be a celebratory piece on the lasting success of "Terror Firmer," collecting interviews with Rochon, Haaga, Joe Lynch, Greg Siebel, Barry Brisco, music supervisor Aaron Conte, and Ileana Romero. Talk of initial hiring is shared, with many simply showing up rewarded with jobs on the movie. Favorite scenes are recalled, the chaotic experience of the shoot is detailed, and the learning experience of being on a Troma set is articulated, with many trying to stay one step ahead of the mayhem. While the idea here is to talk about the picture, and there are many interviewees gathered, the featurette is actually loaded with extended clips from "Terror Firmer," which are entirely unnecessary. The whole thing seems like a wasted opportunity.

• And a Trailer (2:12, SD) is included.

Disc 2

• "The Farts of Darkness: The Making of 'Terror Firmer'" (99:19, SD) is a feature-length documentary on the assembly of the Troma production, and true to form, the creation of a Troma movie is far more interesting than an actual Troma movie. While it commences with Kaufman being lauded at an AFI conference, the journey presented here covers the day-to-day struggles of the 1998 shoot, where Kaufman and his team of newcomers, loyal servants, and pre-teen daughter Charlotte Kauffman try like crazy to piece something together that resembles a sellable effort. Highlights are numerous, including the appearance of a drunk actor hired to play Toxie, the true toilet-hugging price of eating faux excrement for "Uncle Lloyd," and the numerous days spent with Yaniv Sharon, a young man tasked with being naked not only in front of the cast and crew, but eventually Times Square. Filmmaking labor is understood in full, with cameras checking in on the special effects department as they concoct horrible visuals for the helmer, and more advanced areas of stuntwork and pyro play are showcased, highlighting some dangers and surprising attention to safety. However, the real star of the show is candor, as nobody really has a filter here, sharing frustrations and fears, while Troma legend Joe Fleishaker throws a fit about wasted days. Crew and cast members walk out, police pull permits, Lemmy (from Motorhead) shows little tolerance for the process (he's also drinking from minute one), and the director is forced to turn a P.A. into an actor to complete a shot. It's always amazing to watch these Troma BTS endeavors, and the company could probably make a fortune simply issuing a disc of Lloyd Kaufman losing his patience with alarming speed, openly screaming at his cast and crew when they don't match his level of expertise, which seems to be a constant occurrence. It's amazing to watch, and offers a true feel for the labor that goes into one of these splatter epics. Who really needs "Terror Firmer" when there's this?

• Deleted Scenes (16:14, SD) are offered.

• Auditions (6:17, SD) collect tapes from Alyce LaTourelle and Trent Haaga, who give it their all while trying to score parts in "Terror Firmer."

• Bloopers (6:13, SD) highlights flubbed lines, frayed patience, blood mishaps, and the art of corralling Lemmy for his scenes.

• "What's Under the Escalator?" (2:33, SD) appears to be a comparison of "Terror Firmer" comic book art with footage from the film, but nothing here is explained.

• Interview (2:42, SD) is a short chat with Charlotte Kaufman in her bedroom, who reveals that her father tried to shield her from some of the rougher stuff on the set and discusses how she processed his directorial tantrums. She also agrees to reprise her character. The talk is undated, but there's an autographed glossy of Sisqo hanging in the background, which helps to date the conversation.

• "Gyno Talk with Alyce LaTourelle" (2:56, SD) catches up with the actress at the Sitges Film Festival, where she shares her reaction to "Terror Firmer."

• Music Videos (all SD) include "Seeing Red" by Entombed (3:34), "Say What You Mean" by The Lunachicks (2:30), and "Freak of the Week" by DJ Polo and Ron Jeremy (3:37), which has the additional value of being a cameo-laden affair, pairing the rappers and porn star dancers with Corey Feldman, John Bobbitt, Lemmy, Heidi Fleiss, John Entwistle, and Vanessa Redgrave.

Terror Firmer Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

There are moments in "Terror Firmer" where Kaufman is clearly translating his real-world moviemaking woes to the screen, portraying Larry as a blind idiot but a directorial machine, trying to keep the production together despite every kind of setback. These scenes work, as does cheeky debate about Troma's professional mission as a truly indie film studio. Sadly, this is maybe 15 minutes of content, leaving the rest a scattergun viewing event of poop and barf jokes, dated gender identification gags, and cameos by the likes of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Lemmy, and The Lunachicks. "Terror Firmer" does have the unexpected visual of a naked man rampaging through Time Square, but that's it for surprises, as the rest solely sticks with Troma Entertainment routine, trying to be as odious and deafening as possible.