Telefon Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		3.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		1.0
Overall		3.5

Telefon Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf January 15, 2024

After playing a man of the Old West in 1977’s “The White Buffalo,” hoping to find success with a “Jaws”-like tale of a hunter and a monster animal on the loose, Charles Bronson finds a polar opposite acting opportunity in “Telefon,” released in the same year. Of course, Bronson isn’t one to push himself too far as a thespian, preferring to remain in his range, even when dealing with plots of increasing craziness. This adaptation of a Walter Wager novel (credited to Peter Hyams and Stirling Silliphant) certainly qualifies as bonkers, finding the star portraying a Russian spy looking to stop the rise of sleeper agents in the U.S., hoping to prevent World War III as a lunatic, armed with a line of poetry, looks to cause unimaginable chaos. It’s telephoned-based horror in the feature, which arrives under the direction of Don Siegel (who’s billed with his handwritten signature), and the veteran helmer isn’t too interested in amplifying suspense for the endeavor. As Cold War thrillers go, “Telefon” has tremendous potential, even as wacky as it is, but Siegel doesn’t have the eye of the tiger here. He prefers to keep screen activity intermittent and Bronson more subdued than usual, refusing to go crazy with a premise that invites it.

Nikolai (Donald Pleasance) is a Russian madman looking to pull the United States into World War III. He’s armed with a secret book, the “Telefon,” that contains the names and phone numbers of American residents, using a special Robert Frost poem to activate them as sleeper agents for the Soviet Union, planted in the U.S. decades ago. Nikolai is successful at first, but his bombing campaign is targeting old military sites, making his motives confusing to the C.I.A., with analyst Dorothy (Tyne Daly) using her computer skills to figure out what’s going on. Moscow leadership is deeply concerned about securing the book, calling in Grigori (Charles Bronson), a top agent with a photographic memory, to travel to America and kill Nikolai. C.I.A. Agent Barbara (Lee Remick) joins the visitor, with the pair posing as a married couple, hunting for clues that could help stop Nikolai’s reign of terror. As the bombings continue, Grigori and Barbara grow closer, working to thwart future attacks by staying ahead of the list.

Grigori doesn’t show up until 20 minutes into “Telefon,” with the opening of the feature devoted to Nicolai and his book plans. The first incident occurs in Denver, finding an auto mechanic innocently picking up a phone call, only to hear poetry that snaps him into a fog. He loads explosives into his truck and drives into an army base, causing tremendous destruction. In Florida, an air charter owner dealing with the end of his marriage is also contacted, soon loading up more explosives, using his helicopter to take out a Naval communications center. However, this act of aggression is thwarted, opening the eyes of the C.I.A. and the KGB to the enigmatic threat brewing for both superpowers. “Telefon” comes to life in these initial discovery periods, with Dorothy using her smarts to help her superiors understand what’s possibly happening to these puppeted killers. And Grigori is called into action, pulled away from hockey coaching to use his superpowered mind, memorizing the remaining copy of the Telefon.

Perhaps a different movie would launch into a manhunt scenario where Nikolai keeps escalating the situation, while Grigori begins to understand motives and locations. That doesn’t happen in “Telefon,” which adds Barbara to the mix, established as a capable American agent with natural charms trying to work with an icy Russian. She’s meant to be sharp and dangerous, willing to take out who needs to be eliminated, but the story also turns her into a love interest for the Russian, who doesn’t have time for women while on the job. It’s a ridiculous addition to “Telefon,” clearly inserted to help warm up an otherwise cold, slightly inert detective story.

The agents travel around America, following Nikolai’s activity, which graduates to a priest in Los Angeles who attacks a power supply station, and a mother in New Mexico who digs up explosives buried in the ground for decades. All the ingredients are there for something exciting to occur, but Siegel maintains a strange stillness to “Telefon,” which really doesn’t do anything with Nikolai, including drilling into his past or his present mindset. Pleasance cackles and makes calls, and that’s about it for the endeavor, which is primarily focused on Grigori and his investigative efforts, while Dorothy’s presence in the hunt slowly diminishes, even though her work with the computer and confident stance around her bosses is arguably the most stirring action in the movie.

Telefon Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (2.35:1 aspect ratio) presentation is listed as a "New 2023 scan from the interpositive." "Telefon" is a strange looking movie, with cinematographic choices not just leaning toward softness, but blurriness at times. The extremity of the film's look seems intentional (the trailer also carries the style), leaving fine detail more difficult to find during the viewing experience. Certain shots get into skin particulars and heavier clothing involving military outfits and suits. Interiors are adequately dimensional, and exteriors are passably deep, examining sleeper agent targets from around the country. Colors are acceptable, with period hues secure, most pronounced with Remick's costuming as Barbara maintains her style during the hunt. Greenery is decent. Skin tones are natural. Delineation is satisfactory. Grain is heavy but remains acceptably resolved. Source retains a few mild scratches.

Telefon Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA mix is a little uneven, with volume levels occasionally dipping during the listening event, requiring some brief volume riding. Dialogue exchanges remain intelligible, dealing with actor emphasis, especially with Remick's excitability and Bronson's quieter ways. Scoring supports with clarity, offering passable instrumentation and dramatic support. Sound effects are basic but appreciable, though explosions aren't quite as powerful as expected, which is perhaps an inherent issue.

Telefon Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• A Theatrical Trailer (2:35, SD) is included.

Telefon Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Telefon" tries to stir up some tension in its final act, taking things to a Houston hotel for light pursuit, with Siegel handed some elevator action to manage. The writing introduces a goofy letter pattern to the plot, only to have Grigori blow it off with a non-explanation, which adds to the undercooked vibe of the feature. The writing doesn't really sink its teeth into the potential of the craziness, as there's something to be made with Nikolai's mission to resurrect an old idea for a spy network, putting Americans and Russians on the move as they strive to shut down a developing massacre. However, Siegel doesn't work to amplify thriller elements of the picture, preferring to stick with a slightly more procedural approach to the bombings, which takes up a sizable amount of screen time. And there's the non-chemistry between the leads, with Bronson staying crisp and Remick overacting to be seen, making this subplot difficult to endure at times, while developing love between Grigori and Barbara is laughable. "Telefon" has the goods, but the execution is lame, coming up short with nail-biting moments and dangerous confrontations, making for a missed opportunity to do something hard- charging with Bronson.