Rating summary

Movie		1.5
Video		5.0
Audio		5.0
Extras		2.5
Overall		3.0

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3D Blu-ray Movie Review

Cowabummer.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman December 8, 2014

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise is the gift that keeps on giving, an old reliable favorite of the 1980s that has somehow managed to survive in a modernized world and found a revival in Director Jonathan Liebesman's 2014 live action film, a film that is neither a follow-up to, nor a re-imagining of, the older films but instead a total franchise reboot meant for modern audiences expecting the latest in digital technology and large scope. It's a modern crowd pleaser in every sense of the term, which also makes it susceptible to all of the pitfalls modern cinema has to offer. Ninja Turtles, sadly but expectedly, falls into every trap. While the franchise has matured from its cartoonish and toy line origins, and even beyond the scope of its fun but visually limited older films, it has evolved into an extravaganza of recycled sights and sounds meant to excite the senses at the expense of story and characterization. Granted, how much real, emotionally detailed plot one can squeeze from a franchise based on four mutated turtles, their ratlike leader, and a Ninja foe named Shredder (not to mention a couple of overgrown animal henchmen who don't appear in this film) is up for debate, but the movie is so devoid of substance that it's borderline painful to watch. The movie is almost literally nothing more than new skin on the basic modern Action movie package, a Michael Bay-inspired flop that's all style and no substance, and even the style is starting to feel really old, really fast.

Ascending to their own beat.

Wannabe intrepid reporter April O'Neil (Megan Fox) has grown tired of the fluff stories to which she's assigned. She can barely get the time of day from her boss (Whoopi Goldberg) and her career seems at a crossroads: continue on an avenue of nothing or go out of her way, find a story, and make a name for herself. As she deals with her career crisis, New York City falls into anarchy at the hands of the so-called "Foot Clan," a group of thugs bent on terrorizing the city's populace. When O'Neil stumbles into a Foot Clan operation, she witnesses something extraordinary: a hero vigilante doling out justice and saving the day. She doesn't get a good look, and her theories are met with laughter, not a desire to pursue the story. She sets out on her own to discover the vigilante's identity and eventually comes to learn that New York's shadowy hero is in fact one of four heroes, four mutated teenage turtles, masters of the martial arts, who are led by a large talking rat named Splinter (voiced by Tony Shalhoub). It turns out April has a distant connection to the four turtles -- Leonardo (Pete Ploszek), Donatello (Jeremy Howard), Raphael (Alan Ritchson), and Michelangelo (Noel Fisher) -- and the man who would use them for his benefit, a corporate head named Eric Sacks (William Fichtner) posing as a citizen savior. Now, O'Neil and the turtles must unravel a plot involving the evil Shredder (Tohoru Masamune) that could spell doom for New York and its new reptilian heroes.

Megan Fox spends the entire movie with a disturbing blank stare on her face. When the script calls for "deep thoughts" or "reaction to surprise revelation" or "watch a battle with great interest while fearing for life," the actress graces the screen with the same empty, vapid look that conveys none of that, or perhaps all of it in one all-inclusive glare into the void. In her defense, that's the same stare audiences will likely have plastered on their collective faces for the duration, too, as a movie that's the very definition of "modern stock" plays out on the screen. This is as heartless, as manufactured, as generically stylish as they come these days, a movie clearly not made for love of the franchise or, Heaven forbid, love of the cinematic art form but instead for pure commercialism, an excuse to sell Pizza Hut's mega cheese pizza, move a lot of toys, and of course, make almost every other shot a loving portrait of Megan Fox's face. There's nothing wrong with making money, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles throws out all pretenses -- though certainly the filmmakers will say otherwise -- and almost unabashedly markets itself as a marketing tool rather than an honest go at reinvigorating a favorite franchise.

The movie's stock pieces don't begin and end with its action, technically dazzling as it may be (and with some commendable fight choreography in the final act), but through the entire procedural run-up to that final act which is nothing more than a constant blur of motion as the turtles slide down a snowy hill or battle atop a New York high-rise. Every little bit of dramatic lead-up plotting feels forced and uninspired, whether April O'Neil's character arc that sees her only want to live up to her father's expectations (and which, conveniently, grants her a closer relationship to the turtles and their fight) or the stock evil corporate businessman who wants to profit off of suffering. Shredder and his foot clan are almost completely left behind in terms of character development, making him and his army generic inserts meant only to "look cool" and provide a tangible antagonist capable of fighting back against the turtles, something "corporate big wig" couldn't do without actually making him Shredder, which may have worked better, anyway. Worse is the film's almost nondescript setting. New York, which should be a thriving, alive, key part of the plot, feels like a stock background for the action, its most prominent place in the movie being an ever-present "NYC" button on Leonardo's shoulder strap, a nice touch but really the only connection the audience ever feels with The Big Apple. Throw in some hit-and-miss humor -- a few moments do work well, including an impromptu jam session in the lead-up to the final showdown -- including the obligatory fart joke and behold one of the most carefully crafted, kitchen sink, all style bad movies of 2014.

Fortunately, it's not a total failure for this version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but the good rarely rises above the level of the superficial. First, the turtles look pretty great, generally speaking, arguably the most organic digital visuals yet. They feel alive and full, muscular and believably large, capable of pulling off heroic feats even as they chat away about otherwise useless information. They feel fairly well attached, like a group, individual to a point but clearly better together rather than apart. The characters are very well detailed, quite similar where it counts but differentiated by size of mask, adornments on outfits and armor, and of course their signature weapons. Things get a little out of hand for Donatello, who seems a bit too nerdy in both voice and visual (the thick, taped glasses are a little much) but generally the filmmakers have at least gotten the core Turtle vibes correct, though granted that's the most basic and most important task to accomplish in making their movie. William Fichtner satisfies as the de facto corporate villain. His character is underwhelming, but the veteran character actor at least manages to inject a deviousness where only two-faced villain generalities exist. Along with the aforementioned fight choreography and the technically sound photography and editing, this pretty much the extent of any positives oozing out of this latest franchise installment.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3D Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arrives on Blu-ray 3D with a 1080p transfer that retains all the good qualities of its 2D-only counterpart but that never really excites the senses in the third dimension. The 3D presentation never finds much of a truly deep, tangible extra dimension, showing some fair depth in overhead cityscapes, lengthy sewer tunnels, and a high-rise rooftop. General depth isn't extraordinary by any means, and the picture rarely appears significantly more defined in terms of character and object volume. There are some scattered examples of objects appearing to extend beyond the screen's confines, particularly during fight sequences when debris and, in one battle midway through the movie, tranquilizer darts are knocked around and seem to jump out at the viewer. Otherwise, it's a fairly run-of-the-mill 3D effort with little pop and not a significant depth of field. The review equipment did display some rather thick crosstalk effects at times, notably around faces and subtitled dialogue. The more traditional 1080p attributes hold up well. The image never appears darker than its 2D-only companion. Colors remain vibrant and satisfying, while details are extraordinary throughout, particularly evident on the wonderfully complex turtles who, despite their digital finishings, practically pass for real life. The image never goes appreciably darker than it should, and flesh tones appear even and true. Chances are repeat viewings will come via the included 2D-only disc.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3D Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Likewise, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' audio is flat-out fantastic. The disc features the new Dolby Atmos presentation (for more, see the review for Transformers: Age of Extinction). Unfortunately, Dolby Atmos gear and setup was not available for review purposes at the time of publication. That said, listeners still on more "traditional" equipment are in luck; the track will decode as a full-fledged Dolby TrueHD 7.1 lossless presentation on legacy equipment, and it's amazing. While it's not quite so punchy and aggressive as some might like -- the opening title music sets a tone of technical excellence at a slightly lower level, even at reference volume -- structural accuracy and fidelity are simply above reproach. Spacing is exemplary, yielding a full, completely enveloping 7.1 experience that surrounds the listener with music in excellent balance, where the front end dominates but the surround channels carry a fairly substantial load as well. Definition is faultless through the entire range, and the low end is particularly well pronounced, deep and true without sounding forced or over-exaggerated. Ambient effects are constant and satisfying, gently enveloping the listener in dripping rain, rolling thunder, light office chatter, or background city din. Action scenes explode with a smorgasbord of precision tuned and precisely placed pieces. Crashes, explosions, gunfire, swooshing weapons, clanking metal, and all variety of major and minor effects alike come together in perfect sonic harmony to effortlessly throw the listener into the fray in terms of both fidelity to the source and placement in the stage. Dialogue is center focused and naturally precise. All around, this is an excellent, A+ audio presentation from Paramount.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3D Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles contains a handful of featurettes. No commentaries or deleted scenes are included. Inside the Blu-ray case, buyers will also find a DVD copy of the film as well as a voucher for a UV/iTunes digital copy.

• Digital Reality (1080p, 17:56): A look at turtle character evolution for the film, the importance of previsualization, the blend of performance capture and digital characters, technical details behind the performance capture, fight choreography, digital realism, and more.
• In Your Face! The Turtles in 3D (1080p, 1080p, 4:23): A closer look at the technical aspects of the 3D shoot. Note the piece is available in both 2D and 3D, the latter, of course, available only on compatible players and televisions.
• It Ain't Easy Being Green (1080p, 6:47): The cast remembers fond memories of the franchise and discusses playing the roles, shooting in New York, set details, and cast camaraderie.
• Evolutionary Mash-Up (1080p, 14:59): A real-life scientific history and biology of turtles. The piece also looks at ninjas and the integration of the turtle and the ninja. Fans will particularly enjoy a segment that studies the turtles' signature weapons.
• Turtle Rock (1080p, 5:37): Composer Brian Tyler takes viewers into the recording session and discusses how his score fits into the film.
• Extended Ending (1080p, 0:46).
• Music Video (1080p, 3:27): "Shell Shocked" by Juicy J, Moxie, Ty dolla $ign, and Wiz Khalifa.
• Making of "Shell Shocked" (1080p, 1:31): This piece features Wiz Khalifa in the recording studio, discussing his collaboration on the film, intercut with clips from the film.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3D Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is, pardon the pun, a shell of what it should be. It's a rollicking sort of carefree Action/Adventure film but it's so stock and lacking in meaningful creativity as to be borderline insulting. The entire movie is a transparent mess of cliché and modern moviemaking tripe that emphasizes style, fast camera work, and sound over good core storytelling and meaningful drama. Certainly the franchise doesn't necessarily lend itself well to the deeply complex themes of today's world -- at least not on the surface -- but an effort to move beyond an assembly line style of filmmaking would have gone a long way. As it is, this is the new poster child for modern cinema drivel, a movie that offers nothing more than a facelift for any other Michael bay-influenced motion picture. Viewers that disliked Bay's Transformers films (Bay produced this movie) will probably find Ninja Turtles equally unpalatable, while core franchise veterans will likely be disappointed with this directionless, paint-by-number "extravaganza." Paramount's Blu-ray 3D release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles delvers stellar audio, a fairly nondescript 3D presentation, and a few supplements. Fans will be better served saving a few dollars, buying the 2D-only version, and using the savings on a pizza.