Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		1.0
Overall		3.0

Stealing Harvard Blu-ray Movie Review

Killing Comedy

Reviewed by Michael Reuben August 2, 2012

Like some disavowed spy who can't be acknowledged by his masters, Stealing Harvard is a Blu-ray that doesn't officially exist. The publisher, Image Entertainment, hasn't listed the disc among its releases and wouldn't provide us with a screener, as it does for all of its other catalog titles issued under license from Sony. Best Buy, which appears to have the exclusive right to sell the Blu-ray, doesn't list it in their inventory, hasn't assigned it a control number (or "SKU") and generally won't admit to having it for sale. Still, if you wander into your local Best Buy store and rifle through the $7.99 bargain bin, you stand a good chance of finding a copy, although it may take several attempts at multiple stores.

It's tempting to read into these machinations a clever marketing ploy designed to create mystique around a 2002 comedy fizzle that does have a few fans but is otherwise deservedly forgotten. The face of Stealing Harvard's original marketing campaign was Canadian comic Tom Green, who was much better known then for Road Trip, Freddie Got Fingered and a brief marriage to Drew Barrymore that led to a small part in Charlie's Angels. Green remains active in music and Canadian TV, but his forced delivery and wooden acting quickly wore out his welcome with movie audiences. Stealing Harvard is a fine example of Green at his most tiresome, though that's hardly the film's only problem.

Someday no doubt, the Blu-ray of Stealing Harvard will come in from the cold and be reclaimed as a member of the Image catalog, at which point this introduction will become dated. It won't become irrelevant, however, because it says something about Stealing Harvard that it was silently slipstreamed into the marketplace without so much as an admission of its existence, let alone any announcement or fanfare. Either those involved didn't want to admit their association, or they couldn't think of another way to drum up interest. Neither scenario speaks well for the film, even though the Blu-ray itself measures up to the usual high standards set by Sony/Image releases.

The title, Stealing Harvard, is a bit of misdirection, because the film is set in Los Angeles and any expensive institute of higher learning will do for the plot. The title could easily have been Stealing Yale, Stealing Cornell or, simply, Stealing Tuition. According to IMDb, the title was originally supposed to be Stealing Stanford, but Stanford University refused to give permission for use of its name. In one of the deleted scenes, the characters refer to a generic "Northern University", which suggests that the choice of Harvard was a last-minute addition.

The film's comic McGuffin is $30,000, which its hero, John Plummer (Jason Lee), needs to fulfill a promise he made years ago to his niece, Noreen (Tammy Blanchard), to console her after she lost a grade school spelling bee. She's smart, John assured Noreen, and he's so confident in her abilities, that he'll pay for college when she gets in. Unfortunately for John, the moment was caught on videotape. Now, some ten years later, John's sister and Noreen's mother, Patty (Megan Mullally, in a grating caricature of trailer trash), is holding John to the promise. Noreen has most of the costs covered with student loans and financial aid, but there's a $30,000 shortfall.

John is one of those milquetoasts with a sickly smile who's the ideal victim for comic indignities. He lets Patty guilt-trip him into coming up with the money, even though he's already agreed with his fiancée, Elaine (Leslie Mann), that they'll use all the money they've laboriously saved for a down payment on a house so that they can get married—and it's $30,000; what a coincidence! Elaine is a daddy's girl who runs her own business making elaborate gift baskets, while John slaves for Elaine's father, Mr. Warner (Dennis Farina), as a salesman in his emporium of high-end home care supplies for the elderly and infirm, "Homespital". Mr. Warner is a domineering bastard, who routinely requires his future son-in-law to swear (falsely) that he's not yet slept with Elaine. The sooner the couple can buy their own place and get married, the better.

Before John can break the bad news to Elaine that they'll have to defer their plans, she joyfully informs him that she's put down the deposit on the perfect new house. Now John has to find Noreen's tuition elsewhere. For assistance he turns to his old pal, Duff (Green), who runs the world's most inept landscaping service, and a series of ever more harebrained schemes follows. These include a burglary of a rich man who isn't supposed to be home but is (Richard Jenkins); a botched hold-up of a liquor store staffed by an unexpectedly tough clerk (Martin Starr); and an appeal for assistance to a thug they know from high school named Loach (Chris Penn). It isn't long before these activities attract the interest of a hard-line police detective (John C. McGinley, bald, hyperkinetic and overacting), as well as that of Mr. Warner, who suspects John of cheating on his daughter. This being a comedy, everything works out in the end, but not before John and Duff have suffered multiple embarrassments and injuries, everyone has taken their pratfalls and enough outtakes have been generated to be shown after the credits.

The director of this melange of acting styles was Bruce McCulloch, formerly of The Kids in the Hall, and it's hard to tell whether the mash-up is what he intended or simply the result of letting the cast have their own way. The script by Peter Tolan is so weak, and McCulloch's hand so unsure, that even the great Richard Jenkins fails to land solidly, which is a first in my experience. But Green remains by far the most annoying presence. He delivers every line and performs every bit as if he were waiting for the laughter from an unseen studio audience or an inaudible laugh track to subside before moving on. Nobody, certainly not the film's director, seems to have conveyed to him that the most effective comedy results when characters are played straight and take their circumstances with utmost seriousness. Green doesn't create a character named Duff; he just calls himself "Duff" and gives us Tom Green. It's what he did in every film, and it got old fast.

(Note: Green's performance in the film netted him a nomination for the 2003 Razzie award for worst supporting actor. He lost to Hayden Christensen for Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones. I think he was robbed.)

Stealing Harvard Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Sony and Image have done their usual reliable work on this 1080p, AVC-encoded Blu-ray of Stealing Harvard, but no one will turn cartwheels over the picture. Swiss cinematographer Ueli Steiger (The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla) is perfectly capable of delivering big-budget glossy images that allow Blu-ray to show off hi-def to eye-popping advantage, but he's also capable of delivering modest, low-key imagery, as he did in Bowfinger. Stealing Harvard belongs in the latter category. It won't leap off your screen, but that doesn't make this a poor quality disc deserving of a low rating, because it's true to the source.

Colors are strong, detail is good, black levels are solid and contrast is generally adequate to bring out shadow detail without overexposure or "blowing out" of whites. As is customary for Sony, there is no evidence of grain reduction or artificial sharpening, and the grain structure looks natural and intact. Given the very limited extras, the 85-minute film fits comfortably on a BD-25 without compression-related issues.

Stealing Harvard Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The DTS-HD MA 5.1 track for Stealing Harvard is fairly tame, even by comedy standards, because there's neither need nor opportunity for rear channel effects or surround ambiance. Director McCulloch's background in TV is evident here, as in many elements of the production. Even the opening and closing scenes at the race track don't take advantage of the locale to immerse the viewer in an environment. Dialogue is clear, as is the occasional voiceover by Jason Lee's John, and the score by Christophe Beck (Crazy Stupid Love and both Hangover films) is effectively presented to add as much energy to the action as music possibly can.

Stealing Harvard Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Deleted Scenes (SD; 1.85:1, non-enhanced)
• Band Candy (0:29): This looks like an attempted reference to American Pie.
• Hawaiian Punch (1:35): An extended version of the scene where John first visits Patty.
• Patty and Noreen Visit Elaine (3:56): Some routines were too forced and unfunny even for this movie.
• Elaine Makes Nice Dinner but John Has to Leave (1:31): Probably the best of the bunch, thanks to Leslie Mann.
• Wedding Reception (2:43): A longer conclusion.

Stealing Harvard Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

If you're a fan of Stealing Harvard or Tom Green, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to scour every local Best Buy in search of a copy, which, if found, should run you $7.99, plus local tax. As always, if any of you or your Tom Green Fan Club are captured, killed or recognized as a member of Blu-ray.com by personnel affiliated with Best Buy or Image Entertainment, the site administration will deny all knowledge of your activities. This review will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, and this meeting never happened.