Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		1.5
Overall		2.5

Spring Breakdown Blu-ray Movie Review

Limp and languid, this Blu-ray comedy fizzles...

If The Sweetest Thing -- Roger Kumble's utterly repulsive 2002 girls-on-the-road comedy starring Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, and Selma Blair -- taught us anything, it's this: assembling an enthusiastic cast of talented actresses isn't enough to vault an underdeveloped, underwhelming, terribly unamusing mess into comic infamy. Had I not trudged through that undulating, bulbous mass of festering cinematic sores, I wouldn't have been prepared for the straight-to-video fiasco that is writer/director Ryan Shiraki and SNL-alum Rachel Dratch's Spring Breakdown. Cracking a joke and locking eyes with a silent room is uncomfortable enough as it is, but watching a trio of gifted performers like Dratch, Amy Poehler, and Parker Posey stumble through a trite, derivative comedy is more painful than I care to describe.

Come on now, Rachel... don't worry. We'll survive this straight-to-video setback...

Geeks-for-life Judi (Rachel Dratch), Gayle (Amy Poehler), and Becky (Parker Posey) never clicked with the cool kids in high school or college. Their idea of an action-packed weekend involves making pizzas and swapping stories about their dull, monotonous existence. But that all changes when the thirty-somethings fill the role of "designated adults" and accompany a senator's daughter (Amber Tamblyn) on a trip to South Padre Island for spring break. Hilarity (or at least the film's approximation thereof) ensues as the homely best friends embark on the proverbial adventure of a repressed lifetime. I could ramble on about their various encounters with an absurdly irresponsible group of college students but, honestly, I just don't have the heart. Even with a seemingly short runtime of 84 minutes, I wanted to beat my head against the wall, knock myself unconscious, and enjoy my comatose state until the film's credits finally rolled.

You know a comedy is going down in flames when a reviewer uses his notepad and a series of hash marks to count the number of times he laughs. For the record, I chuckled on four separate occasions. Not gut-wrenching guffaws, mind you, but faint, nervous giggles that often had little to do with the actual jokes at hand. Chalk it up to a bad day -- or the fact that I had just returned from watching Pixar's latest masterpiece, the whimsical, joyous, and unexpectedly haunting Up -- but I couldn't believe that Poehler and Dratch (two standout comedians from Saturday Night Live) were failing to engage the ticklish center of my brain at every turn. Even the film's cameos and extended guest appearances sent my eyes skyward: the ever-snarky Seth Myers is reduced to lame asides, smarmy manchild and Arrested Development-standout Will Arnett is wasted, and Jane Lynch, one of the funniest females to grace the screen in years (and, subsequently, the film's only saving grace), isn't given much to chew on. It all amounts to a tired, unoriginal labor of love that never pops as precisely or clips along as steadily as its cast members seem to think.

I know, I know... one man's trash is another man's Blazing Saddles, but I'd be surprised if anyone stood up to vehemently defend Spring Breakdown. My recommendation, take one look at the cover and, just this once, assume the film is exactly what you expect: a plodding, uneventful bore that never rises to the level of talent desperately parading across the screen.

Spring Breakdown Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The lone highpoint of Spring Breakdown is its solid 1080p/VC-1 high definition transfer. While the film's palette is a bit oversaturated at times, primaries are exceedingly vibrant, skintones are warm and healthy, and blacks are enveloping. Contrast is bright and inviting as well, granting the image impressive depth and unexpected dimensionality. Detail isn't as crisp as the most refined transfers on the market, but it is compelling and consistent. Hair and fabric look great, fine textures are rendered with care, and object definition is suitably sharp (without the aid of any annoying edge enhancement). In fact, I was surprised at the presentation's filmic qualities: an unobtrusive veneer of grain lends the picture legitimacy, while an uncompromising stability enhances the presence of foreground elements. And, aside from some brief bursts of artifacts here and there, the image is relatively spotless. I didn't detect any serious banding, significant source noise, or pesky post-processing side effects. Sure, even the strongest transfer couldn't rescue the film from itself, but anyone who dares to dive into Spring Breakdown will at least have a positive experience with its video presentation.

Spring Breakdown Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The Blu-ray edition of Spring Breakdown takes a step back to 2008 with a somewhat disappointing 640kbps Dolby Digital 5.1 surround track. Normally, I would shrug off the use of a standard mix since chatty comedies don't often benefit from an upgrade to lossless audio anyway, but Shiraki and Dratch's film is loaded with sequences that could have really used some extra oomph. Still, the track handles each scene without succumbing to any major issues: dialogue is intelligible and well-prioritized, LFE support is passably robust, and the rear speakers pipe up often enough to craft a reasonably immersive soundfield. I certainly wouldn't call the experience dynamic, but a kinetic musical score edges the mix past other average comedy tracks. All things considered, Spring Breakdown's audio presentation survives its trial-by-fire debut and keeps its head above water. I doubt anyone will be blown away by its sonic prowess (or lack thereof), but it serves its purpose and gets the job done.

Spring Breakdown Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Spring Breakdown doesn't have a lot of content to go around, but after plowing through the film, you'll probably consider this shortcoming to be a blessing in disguise. Writer/director Ryan Shiraki and co-writer/star Rachel Dratch sit down for a banal, unwieldy Audio Commentary that focuses more on the cast's on-set chemistry than the end result of their efforts. From there, a quick collection of Deleted Scenes (SD, 3 minutes) and an even shorter Gag Reel (SD, 2 minutes) attempt to milk more laughs, but come up dry. Last and certainly least, BD-Live functionality and a Digital Copy disc round out the package.

Spring Breakdown Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Hrm. Were it not for Warner's redeeming video transfer, Spring Breakdown would be one of the most forgettable Blu-ray releases to come along in some time. The film itself blows every opportunity it's afforded, its standard Dolby Digital audio track fails to engage the listener as rigorously as it could, and its lackluster supplemental package is a bust. Resist your curiosity: skip this one and funnel your money elsewhere.