Rating summary
Movie | | 2.5 |
Video | | 4.0 |
Audio | | 4.0 |
Extras | | 3.0 |
Overall | | 3.5 |
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Blu-ray Movie Review
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Reviewed by Martin Liebman October 7, 2015
The Sharknado films never have been, and never will be, concerned with
story specifics. Sure there's a loose-thread "save the day from destruction" plot that takes the characters into whacky situations -- the one in
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! will be seen as either astronomically stupid or universally brilliant, hint, hint -- but at the end of the day
it's about flooding the screen with nonsense that never really pays off beyond the immediate hype. All people care about is seeing bad storm and
shark effects leaving streaks of bad digital blood all over the screen. There are some core character threads that run through the series and
plenty of cameos to discover, but the series has made its mark by way of its name and by way of the absurdity that is sharks in tornados tearing up
the town and the people who stand in the way. And The Asylum just got lucky with this one. It caught on where movies like Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark and 2-Headed Shark Attack failed. Why? Who knows. But it's a
moneymaker for sure and, it seems, the bad TV movie equivalent of the Super Bowl given what is now the annual hype machine. Milk it, boys. Milk
it.
That looks familiar...but somehow different. I just can't put my finger on it.
It's happening again! Hero Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) has been summoned to the White House to meet with the President (Mark Cuban) and the
Vice
President (Ann Coulter) but, as is prone to happen, a Sharknado forms right above the nation's capital! He grabs his green energy-powered golden
chainsaw -- recently awarded to him at a fancy dinner -- and carves him some shark meat! And the president is no slouch, either, tossing a hand
grenade right in a shark's mouth! Go Mavericks! Meanwhile, the entire east coast is in danger, as is Fin's family, including his pregnant wife April
(Tara
Reid) and his daughter Claudia (Ryan Newman)! They're stuck at Universal Studios Orlando while Fin is desperately trying to reach them from
D.C.! Fin happens to run into an old friend in Nova (Cassie Scerbo) who helps him get to Florida! But things are so bad, Fin must turn to his own
blood -- his father and former NASA astronaut Gilbert (David Hasselhoff) -- to save the day!
Ah, The Asylum. The Blu-ray community miss ya. They miss things like a Toyota logo that's taped over in one shot and clearly visible in the next.
They miss the obviously fake guns. They even miss a White House that, even following an establishing street side shot from Pennsylvania Avenue
that shows it looking like it's seen everyday on the news,
appears to have undergone an instant magic wand renovation and taken on a bunch of red brick. Yup, The Asylum is back on Blu-ray, and so too is
the cruddy, careless filmmaking. But unlike past entires -- movies that were just
flat out bad (really,
Alien Origin doesn't get enough love as "worst movie of
all time.
Manos? Ha! Exclamation mark!) -- there's a charm to
Sharknado
3, a very tangible sense of gross over-the-top antics that make things like a magically transforming White House not make sense, but fit into
the universe. This movie -- this series -- feels like something a bunch of really spoiled and really rich kids might make over the summer, provided
they could rally names like Ian Ziering, David Hasselhoff, and countless cameos to their cause. While it's still Asylum at its core -- goofy mistakes
galore, rushed and low grade special effects -- the series at least understands that it's nothing but camp of the highest order and plays to the
absurdity. There's no
better example of "wink and a nod filmmaking" out there, and kudos to the
Sharknado team for embracing it.
Sharknado 3, then, offers just a whole lot more of the same but does feel larger, which is what sequels should accomplish at their most
basic, fundamental level. The film expands its reach -- quite literally -- not only by way of plot but by way of the massive number of cameos and
recognizable faces and names strewn throughout the film. Tim Russ of
Star Trek: Voyager fame gets in on the fun. Dallas Mavericks
owner Mark Cuban and Conservative political pundit Ann Coulter play the President and Vice President. WWE Superstar Chris Jericho has a few
scenes. Magicians Penn and Teller enjoy some screen time. Bo Derek, Lou Ferrigno, and Christopher Judge show up. Current and former
professional athletes like the NBA's Rick Fox and NASCAR's Brad Keselowski and Joey Logano get in on the fun. But all the names in the world can't
help the movie if it doesn't know exactly how to push the right buttons and, at the very least, keep the audience hungry for more. Characters surf
down waterlogged stairs on portraits of past presidents, a shark lands in Lincoln's lap at the memorial, a shark is impaled in a picture that
resembles the famous snapshot from Iwo Jima, and D.C. is wrecked real good by a bunch of shoddy special effects. Yeah, it's all nonsense and
ridiculousness of the highest order, but it's creative stupidity and exactly the kind of things the series needs to keep it fresh. One can only wonder
what
The Asylum has in store for
Sharknado 4, but a few things are certain: it will try and top
3 in every way possible, the effects will
stink, and fans will gobble it up. Oh, and don't forget to #vote on April's fate! Exclamation marks!!!!!
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! bites onto Blu-ray with a good quality 1080p transfer that's rather standard for Asylum/lower end TV productions.
The digital photography leaves the image looking flat but not overtly glossy. It's a rather bleak, cold, gray- and blue-dominant image, particularly early
on, thanks not only to the monochromatic stormy skies but a fairly heavy adherence to gray backgrounds and modestly colored attire. Red dresses,
the U.S. flag, amusement park rides and backgrounds, and a few other bits offer some splashes of color, but the image is primarily satisfied to show a
dreary dominant picture. Details are excellent, mostly, with close-ups revealing satisfying skin textures. The space suits seen in the third act offer
some excellent texturing on seams, pads, and patches. Basic image clarity is strong and sharpness is consistent throughout the film, save for some
fuzzy visual effects. Banding and noise are low priority concerns. Aliasing, macroblocking, and other issues are practically nonexistent. Fans should
thoroughly enjoy this transfer given the film's modest photography and style.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! blows onto Blu-ray with an aggressive DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 lossless soundtrack. "Aggressive" here doesn't
equate to "accurate." The track's biggest moments amount to little more than a swirl of deep, ribcage-rattling sound effects that offer some general
definition but (rightly) settle on potency and volume as the most necessary ingredients to suck the audience into the various bits of storm and shark
chaos and all of the collapsing structures, smashes, and other violent ends that pile up throughout the movie. Other effects like gunfire and revving
chainsaws are likewise potent but not really full-on realistic. Music plays constantly, often underneath the action but delivering a steady stream of
decently
defined notes around the entire stage. Dialogue is well prioritized and articulates well with firm center placement. The track is more entertaining and
less exacting, and it fits the movie like a glove. (Wouldn't an O.J.-gets-eaten cameo be really awesome in Sharknado 4? Wonder if the Nevada
Department
of Corrections would allow a film crew inside?)
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! contains plenty of extra goodies.
- Audio Commentary: Director Anthony C. Ferrante, Writer Thunder Levin, and the visual effects team, including Supervisor Glenn
Campbell, offer a cheerful and insightful track that offers a surprisingly deep and entertaining look into the world of lower budget filmmaking. This is
a must-listen and well worth the price of admission.
- Lights, Camera, Sharks: The Making of Sharknado 3 (1080p, 12:43): A brief, multipurpose overview that includes cast
interviews, clips from the film, and footage from the set.
- Feeding Frenzy: An Exclusive Look at the Sharknado Documentary (1080p, 1:45): Some clips from a seemingly honest look
back at the series.
- Shark Tails: Alternate Endings (1080p, 3:23): Director Anthony C. Ferrante introduces a couple of different, and unfinished, endings.
- Growing Pains: The Evolution of Sharknado VFX (1080i, 4:41): A look at VFX quality given the limited time and budget
available to the artists.
- Gag Reel (1080p, 4:47).
- Bite Marks: Famous Faces in Sharknado 3! (1080i, 5:16): A brief look at some of the familiar faces who pop up throughout the
movie.
- Archie vs. Sharknado (1080i, 5:46): A brief examination of a unique crossover comic.
- A Stormy Romance: A Sharknado Love Story (1080i, 5:17): A look at the importance of the core story threads shared
between Fin and April.
- Making of the Soundtrack (1080i, 8:26): Soundtrack Artist Robbie Rist joins Director Anthony C. Ferrante for a discussion of the film's
soundtrack. Music Supervisor Rachel Anderson Lebron and Soundtrack Artist Eddie Cole also share some thoughts.
- Shark Chum: Extended Scenes (1080p, 14:25): Director Anthony C. Ferrante introduces some cut and extended sequences that didn't
make it into the final film.
- The Asylum VFX: Before & After (1080p, 2:10): Comparative scenes showcasing visuals in various stages of completion.
- The Asylum Trailers (1080p): Sharknado 3 (1:45), Feeding Frenzy, 3 Headed Shark Attack, MegaShark
vs. Kolossus, Flight WWII, San Andreas Quake, Road Wars, and Avengers Grimm. Sadly, none of these
beyond, obviously, Sharknado 3 are available on Blu-ray.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation
The Sharknado movies are sort of like the cinema equivalent of a piņata. They're popular. Everyone gathers around to ooh and aah and
anticipate the big explosion and flood of treats. People take turns gleefully beating the hell (no!) out of it, and eventually out spills a bunch of bland
candy that nobody really wants (why the hell [no!] don't those things ever have the good stuff?...Twix, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kats, and M&Ms
being
this reviewer's
personal favorites). It's instant gratification of the worst kind and more about the anticipation and participation than the end result. These movies are
the same thing. They've become an event, everyone knows they'll disappoint, but the fun comes from the process rather than the real value on what's
inside. So long as the filmmakers remember that (and they will...there's no way in hell [no!] The Asylum is going to change one thing in its big
franchise), these films will continue to entertain in the loosest, but maybe most enjoyable, sense of the term. The Asylum's Blu-ray release (it's a hell
[no!] of a shame those words aren't written all that often anymore) of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! does deliver a rock-solid package, featuring
strong video and audio to go along with the supplemental equivalent of that piņata candy: a whole bunch of filler. Recommended for the next movie
party night.