Rating summary

Movie		4.0
Video		2.5
Audio		2.5
Extras		3.0
Overall		2.5

Seven Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf April 21, 2018

The title “Seven” is most associated with the chilling 1995 David Fincher hit, which provided a depressing reminder of the world’s cruelties and capacity for evil. Director Andy Sidaris actually used the title earlier, and I think most people would rather live in his world. 1979’s “Seven” is a secret agent actioner from Sidaris, who’s best known for movies such as “Hard Ticket to Hawaii,” “Savage Beach,” and “Malibu Express,” creating a career that often highlights pretty people engaging in ultraviolence, always in a warm, tropical setting. He’s a master in the “girls with guns” subgenre, and “Seven” is his second pass at establishing exploitation career interests, this time taking the mayhem to Hawaii, where the battle begins between wicked men and the select few hired by the government to assassinate them. Sidaris is known for one thing, and he does it relatively well in the picture, which understands ridiculousness, but remains focused enough to supply a fun ride of chases, bikinis, and extreme concentration on villain routines.

A consortium of criminals has set out to ruin the Hawaiian Islands, using specialized ways to devalue the area enough to collapse the economy, leaving it open for the group to rebuild it and control it with their nefarious vision. After a series of assassinations rock the islands, the U.S. Government is ready to fight back, sending in seasoned spy Drew (William Smith) to arrange a brutal retaliation, shutting down evil plans. In need of help, Drew reunites with old colleagues to carry out his mission, setting up a scheme to murder a handful of the baddies within 30 minutes, stopping the menace cold. To pull off such a task, the unit goes their separate ways, armed with sharp instincts and lethal weapons, keeping in touch with Drew, who’s looking to collect an enormous monetary fee for his efforts, also delighting in the chance to pick off The Kahuna (Lenny Montana), the mastermind behind the Hawaiian takeover.

Sidaris doesn’t hide the outrageousness of “Seven,” delivering some extreme oddity in the first few minutes of the feature, which detail the beginning of the assassination tear ordered by The Kahuna, who wants enemies and key politicians terminated in short order. While average filmgoers are used the visual of steel-jawed men with big guns taking care of murder business, Sidaris invents a different type of hitman, with Kahuna sending in his right-hand man, a shaggy adult skateboarder, to roll on up with a crossbow and eliminate his target, who’s understandably bewildered by such a sight. The skater is featured throughout “Seven,” and he’s a solid represented of Sidaris’s tone, with the helmer unafraid to cook up something absurd just to be different. Perhaps there’s a campy aspect to such a death machine concept, but it works here, giving the effort a genuine sense of surprise, with anything possible after witnessing such wheeled sports lunacy.

“Seven” is blessedly straightforward in terms of plot, following Drew as he assembles his team of killers, traveling around Hawaii and California to reunite with old colleagues, with most retreating from the assassin lifestyle, working on dream jobs such as farming, racing, and science. Drew cooks up an offer of unity for the common good, and the screenplay (by Robert Baird and William Driskill) launches the investigation, with the spies setting out to learn the routines of their targets, with plans to slaughter them all on a quiet Sunday afternoon. This is no Legion of Doom, but a collection of mostly proper crooks. One fiend is into illegally acquiring museum pieces, another floods the community with drugs. Most of the baddies are comfortable with violence, keeping them a threat, with The Kahuna masterminding harm from the comfort of various chairs. Most of “Seven” focuses on surveillance and the formation of relationships, with the tech guy, the Q of the gang (he uses laser technology to end lives from long distances), making time to bed a local restaurant server while waiting for his moment to strike. It’s the Sidaris way to include a little saucy behavior, but this picture is more chaste than most, saving most of its provocative ways for nudity and sheer shirts, with co-stars (and Playboy Playmates) Barbara Leigh and Susan Kiger doing their duty as hardened assassins who use their centerfold allure to trap their victims.

Seven Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Apparently, "Seven" has gone without a home video release since the VHS days, making the jump to Blu-ray potentially special for fans of the film. Unfortunately, the AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation is stuck with aged materials, coming through without much in the way of detail, as softness dominates. Hawaiian vistas are flattened, missing natural vibrancy and depth. Costuming is adequate, though true textures are smoothed out. Facial and body particulars don't stun, even with all the skin on display. Colors are slightly faded but remain appreciable, with island hues, including yellows and blues, passable. Ample skintones remain in the neighborhood of tanned appeal. Delineation thickens periodically. Chroma noise is an issue throughout the viewing experience. Speckling is found and brief warping is detected.

Seven Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Age is also apparent during the "Seven" listening experience, with the 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix hit pretty hard with hiss issues that carry throughout, and other signs of rhythmic damage are found intermittently. Dialogue exchanges aren't difficult to follow, but crispness is elusive, diluting expositional stretches and violent stand-offs. Scoring is also limited, with tribal beats reaching slight distortion when reaching their most aggressive rumbling. Sound effects are loud enough to add punch to explosions and gun shots. Atmospherics manage to communicate the Hawaiian way.

Seven Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary features filmmaker Steven Mitchell and film historians Howard S. Berger and Nathaniel Thompson.

• Interview (11:45, HD) sits down with producer Arlene Sidaris, and while she didn't work on "Seven," she details husband Andy's upbringing and his early interests in filmmaking. An overview of their introduction and ensuing relationship is provided, with the pair making it professional with 1987's "Hard Ticket to Hawaii." Andy on-set temperament is inspected, along with his casting habits, often returning to Playboy Playmates to fill his ensembles. Arlene also examines theatrical distribution frustrations during the rise of VHS, and reveals the couple's attempts to get around union rules while shooting in Hawaii.

• And a Theatrical Trailer (1:11, SD) is included.

Seven Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Seven" often plays like a travelogue, taking viewers all over the islands, occasionally employing a helicopter to secure the grandest vistas. Sidaris clearly adores the location, and he uses it well, keeping flesh exposed, greenery vivid, and beaches loaded with people. However, the movie has a mission to explore, and the final act is devoted to the team and their efforts to pull off a seemingly impossible task of coordination, giving themselves a half hour to change to future of Hawaii. Sidaris lubricates the thrill ride atmosphere with explosions, highway shootouts, and the return of the skateboard killer. And when the physical stuff won't do, the screenplay piles on wordplay (including period references to Helen Reddy), trying to remain as mischievous as possible without becoming overly silly. The production doesn't have a large budget to work with, but Sidaris knows what production elements to emphasize to sustain proper escapism, and while he would go on to perfect his B-movie attitude, "Seven" is the foundation poured for future bikini shenanigans, gifting viewers a series of thrills, some cheap, but all quite satisfying.