Satanic Panic Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		4.0
Audio		5.0
Extras		3.0
Overall		4.0

Satanic Panic Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf December 25, 2019

“Satanic Panic” is a film that’s all over the place when it really doesn’t have to be. Screenwriter Grady Hendrix attempts to blend extreme horror with silly comedy, aiming for a darkly hilarious take on black magic, offering bits of shock and slapstick to help swat down expectations for a simple genre ride. Trouble is, the picture is certainly gross at times, but never funny, flailing whenever it feels the need to be wacky to help settle an audience that might not be so welcoming to a feature that’s solely interested in horror. “Satanic Panic” isn’t a mess, but it’s mostly uninspired, and from casting to one-liners, it falls short of its potential to be a brutal B-movie that’s willing to go to some strange places when detailing the ways of a coven on the prowl for their virginal sacrifice.

In desperate need of money, Sam (Hayley Griffith) takes a job as a pizza delivery employee at Home Run Pizza, hoping to make something happen with the opportunity, handed to her by the lecherous Duncan (AJ Bowen). Assigned the worst areas of town to service, Sam has no luck making quick cash, soon presented with a shot to bring pies to Mill Basin, a ritzy part of town. Arriving at a palatial home with hopes to collect a major tip, Sam is stiffed instead, soon returning to a scooter that won’t start. Fed up with the situation, Sam enters the house hunting for a reward, only to discover a coven preparing to welcome demonic god Baphomet back to life, with leader Danica (Rebecca Romijn) in need of a female virgin to complete the task. Recognizing such purity in Sam, Danica and the coven set out to claim the delivery girl for the ultimate sacrifice, commencing a chase that carries around the neighborhood.

“Satanic Panic” has the right idea with Sam, who’s a relatable protagonist, just trying to make her way in the world that doesn’t have many employment opportunities for the young woman. She’s hoping to collect some gas money with a pizza delivery job, but ends up in the wrong part of town, subjected to horrible customers who require major attention, with one goon hoping Sam might help carry a coach into his house before he claims the pie. It’s deadening work, and director Chelsea Stardust sells the frustration with lighthearted setbacks and encounters with creeps, including Duncan, who’s simply trying to sleep with the new hire. The plot is set in motion when the coven refuses to tip for their corn-topped pizza, inspiring Sam to claim what’s hers, only to walk in on a gathering of red-robed suburbanites, inadvertently offering them a shot at claiming her untouched sexuality for a chance to welcome evil into the world.

The initial developing disaster is compelling, watching Sam thrust into a situation of self-preservation she doesn’t fully understand. The coven is troubled as well, facing infighting and power plays as underling Gypsy (Arden Myrin) begins to doubt Danica’s leadership skills, organizing her own hellacious spellcasting to maintain control of Sam as she escapes into the night. Complications are welcome, with Sam eventually finding and teaming up with Judi (Ruby Modine), Danica’s daughter and the first virgin up for impregnation, refusing the job while trying to defend herself from demonic magic. Stardust gets it right with oodles of gore, watching Judi battle a spell that finds her vomiting worms, while Danica has her special way of clue-gathering, showcasing an ability to read innards recently pulled out of a hapless victim. Some “Evil Dead” shenanigans are ordered up as well, watching Sam challenged by a possessed bedsheet, which is a great idea from Hendrix, but the helmer doesn’t have the necessary seasoning to make a frightful meal out of the unexpected battle between woman and cotton.

Satanic Panic Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation offers excellent color throughout the viewing experience. As one might expect from a movie about satanic powers, red is the dominate hue, found on ceremonial costumes and bloodshed. Even makeup favors red. Overall, primaries do very well here, offering vibrancy and supporting the sometimes silly nature of the feature. Skintones are natural. Detail is satisfactory, with all production elements explored sharply, finding clothing fibrous and skin surfaces distinct. Gory encounters are also open for inspection. Compression issues are periodic, creating some blocky backgrounds, while banding is present. Delineation is acceptable, handling evening chases with care.

Satanic Panic Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 5.1 DTS-HD MA track opens with Fangoria's studio banner, which is accompanied by the sudden sound of a roaring chainsaw, buzzing to life from complete silence. So please, be prepared for that (I certainly wasn't). Dialogue exchanges are crisp, showcasing performance styles and levels of intensity without distortive extremes. Scoring is strong, delivering secure instrumentation and increasing presence during suspense sequences. Soundtrack selections maintain death metal loudness. Surrounds are active, with a few panning effects and strong atmospherics, including precise room tones. Low-end handles musical beats well, along with harder violent clashes.

Satanic Panic Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Making Of (6:29, HD) is a brief, EPK-style overview of the "Satanic Panic" production effort, with cast and crew gathered to celebrate the movie while it's still being shot. Topics include the quest to find the proper balance of horror and comedy, the material's Hong Kong influences (unfortunately, no examples are given), the script's subversive nature, and the entertainment value of a film where Rebecca Romijn is permitted to destroy Jerry O'Connell (her real-life spouse), with the star cheekily delighting in such a violent role.

• "Sam & Judi" (5:00, HD) is a celebration of actors Hayley Griffith and Ruby Modine, with their casting story and dramatic chemistry highlighted.

• "Girl Power" (3:26, HD) details the production's effort to include as many female cast and crew members as possible, giving the on-set atmosphere a different feeling than typical genre endeavors. Actors talk of "badass" collaborators and "safety." This topic could really use a dynamic in-depth examination from a variety of perspectives, but what's here is more of a victory lap, identifying the importance of such a professional atmosphere, overseen by director Chelsea Stardust.

• A Theatrical Trailer has not been included.

Satanic Panic Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Unfortunately, "Satanic Panic" never stays serious for very long, always out to crack wise and be cute, which only breaks the potential for tension. Casting stumbles as well, finding Romijn all wrong for the part, lacking timing for jokes and authority for horror. Sam's experience with the "world behind the world" commences with potential, but the screenplay eventually spins out of control, leading to a conclusion that's trying to subvert expectations, but isn't satisfying enough, as Stardust isn't exactly rolling in budgetary dough to take the material wherever it wants to go. It's difficult to watch "Satanic Panic" fall apart, but it eventually does, never quite settling on a consistent tone, dealing with gruesome encounters and organized devilry, but it's also questing to be hilarious with mediocre material. While the genre blend has worked for others, it just isn't appetizing here.