Santa Claus Conquers the Martians & Other Holiday Hallucinations Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		3.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		3.0
Overall		3.5

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians & Other Holiday Hallucinations Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf December 6, 2024

1964’s “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” was something of a throwaway production, generated to make some money on the children’s matinee circuit, giving young audiences a holiday tale at the local theater while their parents sought peace and quiet elsewhere. It wasn’t meant to stand the test of time, but here we are in 2024, and the film is now enjoying its second Blu-ray release. Some may assign nostalgia and repeated television airings of the movie as the primary force behind the title’s amazing pop culture endurance, but I believe credit belongs to movie riffing, with a classic 1991 episode of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” helping to bring the feature to a wider audience (Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax also had their way with the picture). The ridiculousness of “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” makes the offering an easy target for mockery, and it’s certainly more of a challenge to sit through the endeavor without the added laughs, as the low-budget fantasy and strange hostility of the effort is glacially paced and horrifically overacted. Sure, it’s made for kids, but a little extra pep and more inventive writing certainly doesn’t hurt.

All is not well on Mars, finding concerned leader and father Kimar (Leonard Hicks) worried about his children, Bomar (Chris Month) and Girmar (Pia Zadora), who are consuming too much Earth T.V., offering little interest in the Martian way. After consulting with a Martian “ancient one,” Kimar realizes he needs to bring Santa Claus (John Call) to his planet, as Christmas cheer might help to snap the children of the Red Planet back to life. Joined by Voldar (Vincent Beck) and buffoon Dropo (Bill McCutcheon), Kimar leads a team to Earth, prepared to kidnap Santa from his North Pole home. Complicating the situation is the Martians’ first contact, meeting young siblings Billy (Victor Stiles) and Betty (Donna Conforti), who know where Santa resides. Taking the Earth children, Kimar faces challenges along the way, determined to complete his mission, while Santa, now a prisoner with Billy and Betty, tries to make sense of alien behavior, facing the wrath of Voldar, who’s out to murder the trio and protect Martian integrity.

“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” is a Cold War production, reflected in the writing, which has the unfeeling Communist-like Martians stewing in a joyless existence of indoctrination and blind obedience to leadership. Such a life is hitting the kids hard, putting Kimar on alert, growing aware that something needs to be done, turning to the jubilant ways of Santa and America to seek salvation. Perhaps a political read of “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” is a bit much, but director Nicholas Webster isn’t exactly pushing a story here, reducing the film to episodic misadventures with the Martians, who come to Earth on their mission, facing in-fighting from Voldar, a militaristic alien who demands a miserable future for all. And there’s Betty and Billy, two New York kids caught up in the kidnapping scheme, soon paired with Santa in a spaceship, where all kinds of “wacky” events take place, mostly involving habitual boob Dropo and his broadly comic ways.

For additional information and analysis, please read the 2012 Blu-ray review.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians & Other Holiday Hallucinations Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.33:1 aspect ratio) presentation of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is listed as the "Roadshow version preserved from Something Weird's 16mm print" (87:58). What's included here is an entire program of holiday messages and theater ads before and after the main feature, along with an intermission. Those looking for a solo presentation of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" should seek their Dropo high elsewhere. The viewing experience is pretty much all wear and tear, displaying damaged and skipped frames. Scratches and reel changes are present. And warping appears from time to time. Detail goes about as far as it can, offering a general sense of frame information. Softness extends to sets and costuming. Color does battle with age as well, as some control of pinkness is present, and reddishness is present in skin tones. Primaries are cranked to restore some vibrancy to the image, delivering deep blues and greens. Delineation isn't strong during space travel.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians & Other Holiday Hallucinations Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA mix offers a basic understanding of dialogue exchanges, which do some battle with sibilance issues, but nothing too severe. Intelligibility is present throughout the viewing experience. Scoring is basic, lacking sharpness, but a general understanding of instrumentation is present, along with vocals.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians & Other Holiday Hallucinations Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• "Santa Claus Conquers the Drive-In" (59:39, SD) collects theater ads and special messages in one presentation. Highlights include a Christmas Seals ad starring Rosemary Clooney, various theater management messages, a trailer for the double feature release of "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol" and Mr. Magoo's Little Snow White," and commercials for Sprite, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser.

• Short Films (SD) include "A Christmas Dream" (8:38), "A Christmas Fantasy" (7:40), "Christmas-time in Toyland" (9:19), "A Christmas Journey" (10:39), "Christmas Tree" (7:10), "The Christmas Visitor" (7:30), "Merry Christmas" (8:43), "The Night Before Christmas" (7:59), "A Present for Santa Claus" (8:14), "Santa in Animal Land" (9:11), "The Spirit of Christmas" (9:44), "A Visit from St. Nicholas" (4:14), "A Visit to Santa" (9:59), and "The Liberace Christmas Special" (26:38).

• A Trailer has not been included.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians & Other Holiday Hallucinations Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" tries to add excitement with a polar bear attack and Kimar's use of Torg, a robot tracker hunting for the kids. However, the movie is mostly packed with filler, including long slapstick sequences and lots of stock footage of the "military" preparing to battle the Martian threat. Most interesting is the level of anger in the writing, which focuses on Voldar's lust for blood, doing whatever he can to make sure Santa and the children don't return home for Christmas. It's a small offering of hostility in a largely vanilla production, and one that's out to spread holiday cheer to young viewers who haven't sharpened their sense of cinematic appreciation yet. The dull feature is best served to these young minds, while everyone else should only watch the movie fully riffed to get the most out of the viewing experience.