4.3 | / 10 |
Users | 3.2 | |
Reviewer | 3.0 | |
Overall | 3.1 |
Santa Claus has safely returned to Earth after being kidnapped by Martians. Pia Zadora (eight years old) plays the part of one of the Martian children in this exciting tale of Santa against the universe...or at least, Mars.
Starring: Pia Zadora, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Leonard Hicks, Leila MartinComedy | 100% |
Holiday | 50% |
Sci-Fi | Insignificant |
Family | Insignificant |
Fantasy | Insignificant |
Video codec: MPEG-4 AVC
Video resolution: 1080p
Aspect ratio: 1.37:1
Original aspect ratio: 1.85:1
English: DTS-HD Master Audio Mono
None
25GB Blu-ray Disc
Single disc (1 BD)
Region A, B (C untested)
Movie | 3.0 | |
Video | 3.0 | |
Audio | 3.0 | |
Extras | 3.0 | |
Overall | 3.0 |
Never has the phrase "so bad it's good" been so apt. Regularly appearing on lists of the worst movies ever made, 1964's Santa Claus Conquers the
Martians is nonetheless loveably awful, the kind of film you can enjoy precisely because of its low-budget ineptitude. It became a
Christmastime cult favorite when it appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 1991, and it's been more recently skewered by Cinematic
Titanic,
original MST3K host Joel Hodgson's new wisecracking-about-bad-movies venture. Both of these riff tracks are hilarious, but unlike a lot of MST3K fare,
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is actually entertaining on its own. The ratio of absurdities per minute is high, the acting is across-the-
board atrocious, and the story takes so many ridiculous, patently unbelievable turns that—most of the time—you're left with your mouth hanging
agape. The movie is often very funny, even if it doesn't entirely mean to be.
Since the film is in the public domain, it's been subjected to numerous shoddy home video releases over the years—with poor audio and badly cut-up
prints—but the situation improves markably with Kino-Lorber's new Blu-ray edition, which is much easier on the eyes and ears. (But still in pretty poor
shape; the film has never and will never look pristine.) If you're looking to have your own Mystery Science Theater 3000-style holiday get-
together, you could do much worse than to put on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and let loose with the wise-ass remarks.
Let's get his out of the way up front: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has never looked "good" on home video—it's had a series of grubby, chopped-up releases from several minor labels—and it probably never will. That said, Kino's new Blu-ray release is by far the best yet, despite a few source-related issues. The first thing you'll notice is that the 1080p/AVC-encoded transfer is in 1.37:1, not the film's original 1.85:1 theatrical aspect ratio. Kino has stated that this is because the master they used was sourced from a 16mm answer print that was specifically created for television broadcast. Prints of the movie are rare, so they've had to work with what was available to them. Fair enough. This cut of the film is surprisingly complete—I've seen other editions where scenes are missing and the theme song drops in and out suddenly—and the print is in fair condition, all things considered. There are still white and black specks, vertical scratches, and slight brightness/color fluctuations throughout—the film is essentially presented as is—but at least there's no smeary digital noise reduction or edge enhancement. While the 16mm picture is consistently soft, seeing the movie in high definition certainly yields a noticeable improvement in clarity. The film's candy-hued color palette seems accurate too, with its Martian greens and cheery Christmas reds. I didn't spy any blatant compression problems or other concerns worth noting. The film is what it is, and this is probably the best version of it we'll get for some time to come.
You'd be as wise as Chochem not to expect much from the film's lossless DTS-HD Master Audio mono track, which is rife with its own age and source- related issues. Still, the mix is at the very least listenable. You'll hear occasional splice pops, crackles, and low hissing, and much of the dialogue has a husky, muddy, mid-heavy quality, but you'll always be able to understand what's being said. (Which is fortunate, since the disc has no subtitle options whatsoever.) I'm just happy that the very 1960s theme song is presented in its entirety. But beware—you'll have it stuck in your head for days.
There are a few films that will forever live in so-bad-it's-great infamy, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians—a dippy, low-budget holiday cult classic—is definitely one of them. No one would ever mistake this for a "good" movie—most all of the comedy here is strictly unintentional—but the non- stop absurdity and sappy Christmas spirit make this a must-watch around this time of year. Do yourself a favor; invite a few friends over, make some rum/eggnog/nutmeg cocktails, put on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, and commence with the Mystery Science Theater-style remarks. Weirdly recommended!
1964
Special Edition
1964
Slipcover in Original Pressing
1964
Collector's Edition
1959
1953
Collector's Edition
1996
1955
1991
1996
1957
1959
1956
1968
1980
1965
1959
Warner Archive Collection
1984
The Love Factor
1969
1990
Collector's Edition
1987
1992
1994
Limited Edition - 2,000 copies
1985