Rating summary

Movie		3.0
Video		2.5
Audio		4.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		2.5

Safe Men Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Dr. Svet Atanasov March 17, 2023

John Hamburg's "Safe Men" (1998) arrives on Blu-ray courtesy of Mill Creek Entertainment. There are no supplemental features on the release. In English, with optional English SDH subtitles for the main feature. Region-A "locked".

One of my most secret guilty pleasures is revisiting Scott Silver’s The Mod Squad, a film that seems to be universally detested by mainstream critics and mainstream moviegoers. I would not describe The Mod Squad as a brilliant, misunderstood masterpiece, but I find large parts of it incredibly funny. The sequence where Giovanni Ribisi nearly destroys the Dodge Challenger at the car wash instantly puts a smile on my face because I know someone that had an almost identical experience. The late and great Dennis Farina is delightful as the forgiving cop and mentor of the mods, too. While his time before the camera is limited, Michael Lerner is a very convincing kooky drug dealer and his performance adds so much flavor to the story it is unforgettable. This is actually the real reason I wanted to mention The Mod Squad -- Lerner’s transformation into a kooky criminal. Lerner has done several such bad characters over the years and every single one of them is terrific. It is obvious to me that Lerner enjoys doing them, but it is just as obvious to me that there is something unmistakably authentic in his work that makes them so effective. What is it? I do not know. Perhaps there is a bad character hiding somewhere inside Lerner and every once in a while he lets him loose. Whatever it is that Lerner does, he has it mastered to perfection, which is why these bad characters never disappoint.

In John Hamburg’s comedy Safe Men, Lerner is a very Jewish criminal named Big Fat Bernie Gayle who likes to think that he calls the shots in the city of Providence, Rhode Island. But he does not. There is another Jewish criminal, Leo (Harvey Fierstein), specializing in distributing stolen merchandise who is openly sabotaging Big Fat Bernie’s business interests and even thinking about claiming Providence for himself. Annoyed by the competition, Big Fat Bernie dispatches his right-hand man, Veal Chop (Paul Giamatti), to bring to him the two highest-ranked safe crackers in the area so that they can do a job for him. Knowing only that the famous safe crackers like to drink gin cocktails in a lousy bar, Veal Chop goes to work but picks up the two lousiest singers in Providence, Sam (Sam Rockwell) and Eddie (Steve Zahn), who happen to be at the same bar at the right time. In front of Big Fat Bernie, Sam and Eddie realize that the only way to stay alive is to pretend that they are the famous safe crackers, but their act quickly falls apart. Nevertheless, because they have done a bit of stealing, Big Fat Bernie gives them a chance to prove that they deserve to stay alive. All they must do is crack open three different vaults, one of which belongs to good ol’ Leo.

Some of the most vocal critics of Safe Men have pointed out that the film very quickly goes down a familiar path and produces a string of cliched situations while trying to impress. This is true. Hamburg, who scripted and directed Safe Men, does not take any risks with the story or the characterizations, so the surprises that occur after the amateur safe crackers are released to prove that they deserve to stay alive are not at all surprising. However, these types of contemporary crime comedies are never terribly ambitious. I am sorry, but this has been the trend for a very, very long time. They try to inspire great ensemble chemistry and, in the process, produce comedic fireworks that make up for the lack of genuine surprises. So, despite claims to the contrary, the predictable material is not a serious, consequential weakness.

The crucial weakness of Safe Men is the shaky chemistry between its stars. Lerner is predictably excellent and charges Safe Men with the proper energy it needs but the rest of the cast only occasionally matches the quality of his work. This is why the quality of the laughs is inconsistent as well. When Lerner is in front of the camera, the laughs are good, at times even great, but there is plenty of footage where Rockwell and Zahn are expected to lead and they have a difficult time doing it and effectively connecting with the rest of the cast.

The Bar Mitzvah party looks underdeveloped too because Lerner is again expected to lead. Some funny lines pop up here and there, but they are not enough to create a proper climax. It feels like the party should have evolved into a big circus where all kinds of different characters go berserk.

Safe Men Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Presented in its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1, encoded with MPEG-4 AVC and granted a 1080p transfer, Safe Men arrives on Blu-ray courtesy of Mill Creek Entertainment.

The visuals are often quite problematic. On my system, only a couple of darker sequences, such as the one from the lousy bar, had a somewhat acceptable appearance. The rest of the film has a harsh digital appearance that is frequently distracting. For example, many close-ups lack proper delineation and can appear smeary. Wider shots, both with and without proper lighting, lack crucial nuances as well. Different ranges of highlights could be managed a lot better, too. Colors are stable. However, this is another area where plenty of meaningful improvements can be made because numerous supporting nuances are not healthy. Image stability is good. I did not notice any large cuts, debris, warped or torn frames to report. All in all, the current presentation of Safe Men does not have proper organic qualities.

Safe Men Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

There is only one standard audio track on this Blu-ray release: English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1. Optional English SDH subtitles are provided for the main feature.

The dialog is very easy to follow. It is clear and sharp. However, I noticed several areas where dynamic balance was not as convincing as I believe it could and should have been. There are small fluctuations that are a tad surprising, especially when the music becomes prominent. I did not encounter any encoding anomalies to report.

Safe Men Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Unfortunately, there are no bonus features on this release.

Safe Men Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

I am a pretty big fan of Michael Lerner and this was the only reason I wanted to see Safe Men. The bad characters he plays, and especially the hilarious ones, like the drug dealer in The Mod Squad, are usually terrific. In Safe Men, Lerner plays another very funny Jewish criminal that wishes to impose his authority in Providence, Rhode Island, but hires the wrong guys to help him accomplish his goal. I had a good time with Safe Men because of Lerner's predictably solid contribution, but this may not be enough for other viewers to replicate my experience. This recent Blu-ray release from Mill Creek Entertainment does not offer a proper technical presentation of Safe Men, so if you must have it in your collection, I suggest you pick it up only when it is very heavily discounted.