Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		0.5
Audio		1.0
Extras		1.5
Overall		0.5

Rabid Grannies Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf March 18, 2015

Troma Entertainment isn’t known for their commitment to quality film. They specialize in easily marketable schlock, often drawn to frightfully violent entertainment to secure interest from horror genre admirers. The company’s purchase of the 1988 Belgian picture, “Rabid Grannies,” comes as no surprise, finding the provocatively titled endeavor happy to share its fascination with the grotesque, developing a thin storyline to service what becomes a random grab-bag of nightmarish imagery tied to a loosely defined demonic possession. At 68 minutes, it’s barely a movie, but that doesn’t stop director Emmanuel Kervyn from trying to squeeze suspense out of absolutely nothing, playing to the back row with broad performances and a few tasteless encounters, all funneled into a senseless scare feature that’s never authentically unnerving outside of frighteningly inept editorial decisions.

The story of “Rabid Grannies,” if there is one, concerns a birthday party for two elderly sisters in a rural estate. Loaded with cash and nearing the end of their lives, the siblings are ready to celebrate with dinner and cake, inviting a wide range of family and friends to the join the festivities, with the exception of one black sheep who was lost long ago to a satanic sect. With relatives arriving from all over to keep up appearances, hoping to increase their chances for an inheritance, the house is filled with company, but one gift handed to a servant at the front gate is about to leave the biggest impression. Opening a wood box filled with a demonic spirit, the sisters are instantly possessed, transforming into ghouls before feasting on the family. With survivors escaping to their rooms, a battle of survival commences, with the grannies picking off their victims one by one, sneaking around the house as escape attempts from the living are planned out and poorly executed.

“Rabid Grannies” has the right idea, but no true direction. Kervyn uses a familiar template for his screenplay, pitting a group of disparate individuals against a startling threat, with each character assigned a quirk, profession, or sexual identity to ease the tracking of strangers into the heat of the moment. There’s a priest, a lesbian, and an overweight man mixed into the reunion crew, which also boasts a few children and a pair of servants who remain downstairs. Acting is largely executed at top volume to preserve clarity, making it easy to understand who’s being attacked, but depth of personality isn’t a concern for “Rabid Grannies,” which sticks to two speeds: argumentative behavior and panic. The family is merely food for the possessed sisters, who spend the wee hours of the morning taunting and tempting their prey out into the open.

Now would be a good time to question why the picture is titled “Rabid Grannies” when rabies isn’t even remotely part of the plot. The Blu-ray art includes a graphic of fanged teeth, but that’s incorrect as well. Doesn’t “Demonic Grannies” carry the same marquee appeal? Granted, nothing about this movie makes any sense (editing often ends scenes mid-action), leaving the misleading title the least of its concerns.

Once the sisters take a whiff of demon smoke, all hell breaks loose. Violence is strong here, displaying the shredding of skin and numerous dismemberments. And just to make the entire enterprise borderline unwatchable, Kervyn includes the slaughter of children to spice up the horror, which gives the effort an air of recklessness it doesn’t require. The picture is more approachable as a goofy chiller, watching the titular creatures regenerate limbs after meeting the business end of a sword and pick off the weak and stupid, watching the production execute unconvincing but scrappy make-up and gore effects, working diligently to make a mess out of the cast.

In terms of baffling BD releases, “Rabid Grannies” has to set some kind of record. Packaging lists an 89 minute run time for the picture, but, as previously mentioned, the Blu-ray “Rabid Grannies” Cut runs only 68:27. An alternate cut, listed as the “Producer’s Cut,” runs 69:46, but, from a cursory scan, turns out to be the exact same version of the film. The only difference? Roughly two minutes of black screen before the feature begins (the “Rabid Grannies” Cut offers only 30 seconds of nothingness). How strange.

To make matters even more bizarre, the DVD included in the combo pack runs 88:35, featuring a 1.33:1 aspect ratio and unmolested color scheme (more on that in a moment). The DVD also includes a commentary track from writer/director Emmanuel Kervyn that’s not on the Blu-ray. Missing from this longer cut are gore sequences (these are included on the Blu-ray), but the story remains intact. What a mess. Perhaps the only way to see the true version of the film is to avoid the film completely. It appears the gang at Troma was blindfolded when this BD/DVD package was assembled.,

Rabid Grannies Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (2.25:1 aspect ratio) presentation on "Rabid Grannies" and the "Producer's Cut" is an absolute mess. Featuring an unsettlingly low bit rate and sourced from what appears to be a VHS tape, the viewing experience is completely lost from the moment it begins. Color timing is all over the map, never consistent as parts of the picture are coated with sepia while the rest carries a cooler, blue monochrome look. Hues rarely make sense, washing away anything natural about the image, also diluting gore zone visits. Softness is rampant, with no fine detail available, while banding, ghosting, and pockets of noise are omnipresent. Blacks are completely solid, with no delineation provided to pull out the particulars of evening encounters, while a few scenes manage to cloud the actors entirely, turning select moments into shadow play. Framing is too tight, cutting off heads and bodies, looking uncomfortable. Scratches, debris, and harsh reel changes are also on view. Considering how "The Toxic Avenger" and "Bloodsucking Freaks" made it to Blu-ray from Troma without major issues, it's shocking to see how poorly "Rabid Grannies" has been treated for its HD debut.

Rabid Grannies Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Cruelly, the 2.0 Dolby Digital sound mix keeps up BD disappointment with a thin, shrill listening event. There's no sense of range or urgency provided here, leaving dialogue exchanges muddy and, at times, unintelligible, even with pronounced dubbing. Sound effects and assorted atmospherics are an indistinct collection of crispy noises that carry slightly distorted highs. Scoring is certainly perceived, but hardly distinct.

Rabid Grannies Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Deleted Scenes (8:28, SD) highlight all the gore sequences that are already in the film. So, if you like iffy make-up and questionable taste, here's a chance to relive it.

• Interview (3:06, SD) with producer Johan Vandewoestijne quickly covers the "Rabid Grannies" production experience and the film's eventual sale to Troma. Most valuable here are glimpses of BTS footage, which help to understand how the picture was assembled.

• "What the Hell Happened to You?" (2:22, SD) is a faux interview with "Eve," a rabid granny who answers a few questions from a member of the Troma staff before attacking him.

• And a Theatrical Trailer has not been included.

Rabid Grannies Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Whatever "Rabid Grannies" was at one point, it's not anymore. The Blu-ray provides what could be interpreted as a sample reel of practical effects and lukewarm acting, with mangled editing and crummy color timing erasing whatever artistry was intended. Or perhaps Kervyn truly doesn't have any awareness of tone or ability to establish spatial relationships. Who knows. This Blu-ray release certainly isn't a proper introduction to "Rabid Grannies," which has taken what appears to be a lively horror effort and reduced it to a blur of terrified characters, demonic attacks, and gruesome encounters.