Rating summary

Movie		3.0
Video		3.5
Audio		4.0
Extras		5.0
Overall		4.0

Private School Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf November 3, 2019

Scoring a surprise hit with 1981’s “Private Lessons,” producer R. Ben Efraim quickly set out to capitalize on the success. While he couldn’t put together a sequel (that would eventually come in 1993), Efraim managed to assemble “Private School” for a 1983 release, hoping to give young audiences a suitable R-rated distraction for the summer moviegoing season. The pictures have almost nothing in common (except the appearance of “Private Lessons” star Sylvia Kristel), but they share a common interest in titillation. With the teen horndog subgenre in full swing at this time in marketplace history, Efraim aims to play into the trend, with “Private School” more of a sketch comedy film, offering a string of pranks, mistakes, and tomfoolery to fill the time between topless activity. There’s nothing to the endeavor, and that contributes a great deal to its modest appeal.

Chris (Phoebe Cates) is a high school student at Cherryvale Academy, joined by her roommate, Betsy (Kathleen Wilhoite). The pair live next to Jordan (Betsy Russell), a bad girl who wants to claim Chris’s boyfriend, Jim (Matthew Modine), for herself, dreaming up ways to break the pair up. Jim goes to school at Freemount Academy, palling around with Roy (Jonathan Prince) and Bubba (Michael Zorek), who’s dating Betsy. All the guys want to do is spy on naked women, turning up the high jinks as they try to infiltrate Cherryvale to get a closer look at the showering students. For Chris and Jim, the time has come for their first sexual experience, but the pair fumble with the details, unsure if this is the right step forward for them, allowing Jordan a chance to destroy their happiness.

“Private School” doesn’t have a plot. The only thing that resembles a dramatic arc in the picture is the uneasiness between Jim and Chris as they prepare for a romantic weekend at a hotel, working up the nerve for their deflowering plans. Beyond that, there’s little more to the viewing experience than a series of pranks and jokes, with the sexed-up men of Freemount spending all their free time trying to ogle the women of Cherryvale. Even director Noel Black gets in on the action, hired to provide as many shots of bare breasts and bent-over characters as possible (there’s an entire scene devoted to the observance of the Cherryvale students working through a calisthenics routine), often stopping the movie to do so. It’s this impressive dedication to sexploitation that keeps “Private School” on the move, with Jordan often weaponizing her sexuality, including a topless horse ride to catch Jim’s attention. Bubba is an insatiable moron, irritated with Betsy’s demand for foreplay, openly trying to cheat on his girlfriend (he’s a wholly unlikable character, but Zorek goes for it with his wet-lipped performance). When nudity is offered a smoke break, shenanigans take over, finding Chris and Betsy orchestrating a flaming bag of fecal matter joke on Jordan, while the guys are so hard-up for attention, they dress as women to infiltrate Chris’s dorm, which gives Jim a full blast of Jordan’s powers of seduction.

Private School Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

While Shout Factory can only get their hands on an older scan of the feature, "Private School" offers a decent upgrade to Blu-ray. The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation offers a softer, slightly more processed look at the movie, but some detail is preserved, handling costumes with mild textures, and school decoration is open for inspection, including the cluttered walls of the dorm rooms. Colors are acceptable, offering plenty of skintones, which remain natural, and clothing has highlights as bright purples and reds dominate wardrobes. Greenery is acceptable. Delineation is comfortable, preserving frame information during evening antics. Source is in fine shape.

Private School Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix secures the party vibe of "Private School," offering clear dialogue exchanges that track all comedic and dramatic efforts, never slipping into distortion as excitable energy increases. Soundtrack selections carrying an agreeable presence on the track, boosted in volume when the need arrives. Instrumentation is appreciable. Atmospherics are acceptable, capturing dorm disorder and party activity.

Private School Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary #1 features actor Michael Zorek.

• Commentary #2 features authors Mike McPadden and Aaron Lee.

• Interview (28:17, HD) sits down with Matthew Modine, who seems a little uneasy to be talking about "Private School," choosing his answers carefully. Initially stumped when asked to provide a premise for the feature, Modine recounts his audition process, where he worked to soften an angry script, making his Jim likeable (sharing the afternoon with Vincent D'Onofrio, who was up for Bubba). To win the part, his audition was tested with women, with their approval helping to secure his employment. There's a discussion of the character actors in the film, with their experience providing a beacon of professionalism for the younger talent. Modine offers appreciation for his co-stars and crew, including Phoebe Cates (awed by her confidence), Betsy Russell (won over by her intelligence and bravery, though he's openly dismissive of the sexploitation aspects of the production), Michael Zorek (enjoying his broadness, while the producers were pushing him as the next John Belushi), Jonathan Prince (their friendship endures to this day), director Noel Black (distant but nice, struggling with a tense shoot), and dialogue coach Jerry Zaks (who helped the young star deal with his drama school education when basic slapstick was required). Modine offers an appreciation for the "Private School" fanbase, and details his experience with a changing industry, happy to have such a professional opportunity at a young age.

• Interview (17:07, HD) with Betsy Russell initially offers her interpretation of Jordan, a character she doesn't view as a villain. Russell shares her audition story, electing to wear a skin-colored bodysuit under her clothes to make an impression, claiming the part right after. Resembling Phoebe Cates, the actress was asked to change her hair color for the part, and Russell explores her relationship with her co-star, as Cates provided help with comfort and support, becoming sisterly. Nude scenes are examined, with the naïve 19-year-old woman unsure of Hollywood rules, ready to give the production whatever it needed, including the horse riding sequence, where she quickly got rid of her helmet to look as fabulous as possible. Her co-star in the scene wasn't helpful, with horse issues making things difficult. Russell shares her first impressions of the movie, which she saw with her father(!), and offers positive memories of the shoot and the learning experience it created with her first major role.

• VHS Version (88:34, SD) provides a low-res presentation of "Private School," with Shout Factory hoping to tap into nostalgia by providing the feature the way most first-time viewers saw it.

• Image Gallery (8:08) collects film stills, publicity shots, poster art, lobby cards, a magazine article, and scans of personal items from Matthew Modine's private archive.

• Radio Spots (8:04) offer 11 advertisements for "Private School."

• And a Teaser Trailer (1:20, SD) and Trailer (:52, SD) are included, the latter hilariously pushing Zorek's Bubba as the lead character of the movie.

Private School Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

There are erection jokes, a scene of condom purchase pressure at a local drug store (Martin Mull plays the clueless pharmacist), and equally wily adult characters (Ray Walston has a brief role as a handsy chauffeur), keeping "Private School" stocked with often random jokes and stretches of slapstick. There's not a lot of sense to the picture (the main titles showcase Chris, Betsy, and Jordan as best friends, but they loathe one another, and it seems sex education at Cherryvale starts right before graduation), but consistency isn't the point here. All the production wants is easily sellable product for the multiplex, hoping to rake in as much lawn mowing money as possible from the target demographic. It's salacious nonsense, but "Private School" is incredibly easy to watch, handled lightly and efficiently, riding on the charms of the cast. They certainly don't make movies like this anymore, but let's not kid ourselves, this is barely a movie.