Pretty Smart Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		3.5
Audio		3.0
Extras		1.0
Overall		3.0

Pretty Smart Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf June 20, 2020

For his directorial debut, Dimitri Logothetis (“Slaughterhouse Rock,” “Kickboxer: Retaliation”) clearly wanted to participate in the wave of teen horndog releases that swarmed distributors in the 1980s, interested in making his mark on a subgenre that doesn’t demand much in the way of filmmaking prowess. 1987’s “Pretty Smart” is as clumsy as can be, but Logothetis is committed to his vision of nudity and private school high jinks, only he’s not exactly clear in his intent, trying to make something of a female empowerment picture that’s 100% exploitative, showing more interest in clothing optional activity than crisis of character. “Pretty Smart” is pretty confusing in terms of motivations and end games, but the helmer doesn’t really seem to mind, having more fun sending his cast on a tour of Greek locations and staging mischief with an assortment of young actresses. As mid-80s VHS distractions go, this is not one of the better ones. Logothetis is struggling to make something here. He just doesn’t know what it is.

Troubled sisters with a propensity for causing trouble, Zig (Tricia Leigh Fisher) and Jennifer (Lisa Lorient) are sent out of the country by their parents, relocated to Greece, enrolled in Ogilvy Academy for the new school year. Running the institution is Crawley (Dennis Cole), a slick administrator who hopes to offer the all-female student body a sense of discipline and education, presenting a roster of diverse teachers who cover all sorts of subjects. Jennifer is quickly accepted by the Preens, led by Samantha (Julie K. Smith), a snotty young woman who lives to make life difficult for the Subs, with Zig soon falling in line with the school rejects, joined by her roommate, Zero (Patricia Arquette). Zig hates Crawley and wants to make life difficult for him, arranging a series of pranks that intend to disrupt school order and turn her into a star rebel. Unfortunately, Zig is up against a powerful foe, and one who’s running an underground cocaine trafficking business, also selling nude videos of the students to the highest bidder.

Exposition is limited in “Pretty Smart,” at least the introductory kind, with Zig and Jennifer suddenly marched off to Greece to help with discipline problems. Jennifer welcomes the academic and social opportunity, finding her place as a blonde in a blonde world, but Zig doesn’t have interest in making something of herself, dismissing Ogilvy as a torture chamber, ready to make trouble whenever she can make her first move. Why such drastic measures are taken with the pair isn’t crystal clear, with the main title sequence hinting at some sort of arrest for Zig, who thwarted a violent bank robbery by taking off her clothes. She seems like a hero, but there’s a lot about “Pretty Smart” that suggests significant chunks of story were chopped off the effort before release. What the writing needs is Zig mad and stuck in Greece, facing real authority from Crawley, who isn’t one to indulge such a sour personality. The picture sets them up as opposing forces, but soon enough, more pressing matters arise with Crawley’s extreme underworld activity.

Keeping up with teen cinema, Zig finds her way with the Subs, finding comfort in a band of outsiders who enjoy palling around and pushing back against the Preens. One videotapes everything, while Zero is fond of smoking and coloring in bed. These aren’t exactly problem kids, with Zig the most defiant of the gang, using her sneakiness to ruin Crawley’s displays of professionalism, including showing up to one of his assemblies dressed as a pregnant girl with a chewing tobacco problem. Again, as monkey business goes, “Pretty Smart” is rather tame, and this extends to the Preens, who are basically rich teens in love with all things pink. The wild side belongs to Crawley, who plays disciplinarian during the day and drug lord at night, organizing shipments of cocaine to be moved during student day trips to places such as Paris. And if that isn’t enough, Crawley also runs a pornography business, as the school is wired with secret cameras recording evening activities, such as pillow fights, showering, and the odd sexual encounter. One would think coke deals could cover the bills, but Logothetis has his sexploitation standards to live up to, also keeping the cast unclothed on nude beaches and rooftop sunbathing gatherings.

“Pretty Smart” doesn’t have much to offer besides gratuitous R-rated elements, with the screenplay whiffing when trying to offer a stable, understanding teacher in Sara (Kim Waltrip), who sides with the Subs, leading them on a secret excursion around Greek tourist spots, possibly satisfying some type of promotional obligation for Logothetis. There’s a vague idea about the school’s landlord, an eccentric who briefly narrates the opening of the feature, labeling it a fairy tale. There’s a romantic match for Zig who’s properly introduced in the third act (a little late for sparks to fly), and when she casually decides to reveal the source of her dark personality, we learn about a sexual assault. “Pretty Smart” can’t manage such tonal extremes, especially when the highs are too high, encountering self-aware cheekiness when a school tour guide notices the end credit scroll as the movie closes out.

Pretty Smart Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Listed as a "Brand new 2020 2K scan of the original IP," "Pretty Smart" is offered with an AVC encoded image (1.78:1 aspect ratio) presentation. Wear and tear is significant here, with a sustained display of speckling and scratches, while rough reel changes shave off a few frames at times. Scorpion Releasing hopes to pull the source together for the viewing experience, offering refreshed colors that embrace period fashion, including bright pinks. Costuming offers big blues and reds, and "punk" makeup delivers additional hues. Earth tones are found in the school setting, and greenery is appealing. Skintones are natural and ample, as the production likes to add nudity wherever it can. Detail is acceptable with some softness, though facial close-ups are compelling, along with clothing, which offers all sorts of textures. School tours are passably dimensional. Delineation is acceptable. Grain is on the chunkier side.

Pretty Smart Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix is in rough shape, with heavy hiss and pronounced popping carrying throughout the listening event. Dialogue exchanges aren't lost, but they lack ideal clarity, also working through sibilance issues. Scoring also struggles at times with harshness, with synth offerings tinny, while soundtrack cuts lack depth. Student bustle faintly remains, along with outdoor atmospherics.

Pretty Smart Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• A Theatrical Trailer (1:23, SD) is included.

Pretty Smart Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Pretty Smart" isn't a notable picture, perhaps best remembered as the acting debut for Patricia Arquette (the feature was released a few weeks after "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors"), who doesn't really do much of anything in the film. The endeavor mostly flounders, never becoming an anti-authority anthem with Zig as the face of teen rebellion. And the story is a mess, with random events and unexplained characterizations. It's meant to be a party, but there's very little excitement and even less edge, with Logothetis possibly trying to create a homage to juvenile delinquent movies from the 1950s, only with a lot more nudity to help marketplace appeal. Whatever this is, it doesn't gel.