Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		4.5
Audio		5.0
Extras		2.0
Overall		3.5

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Blu-ray Movie Review

Yo ho ho and a bottle of Dramamine...

Reviewed by Kenneth Brown October 8, 2011

I had high hopes for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. While The Curse of the Black Pearl was an absolute blast, Dead Man's Chest amounted to a bloated, beached corpse and At World's End was little more than a flashy misfire. Each one had its moments, sure. But there were so many competing plots, subplots and sub-subplots, not to mention double, triple and quadruple crosses, that neither one thrilled or entertained audiences as much as Pearl. But everyone from producer Jerry Bruckheimer to leading man Johnny Depp approached the fourth film with the same candid assurance: On Stranger Tides wasn't just a relaunch designed to recapture the magic of the first film, it was an apology of sorts for having sailed into such muddy sequel waters. Yet somehow, by some strange fate, voodoo incantation or pirate's curse, On Stranger Tides isn't the return to form we were promised. On the contrary, it's slower, duller, more cumbersome, more distended, and more unnecessary and extraneous than both Pirates sequels combined. I'm sure it all sounded exciting on paper -- castle escapes, London carriage chases, zombies, Captain Jack teaming up with Captain Barbosa, flame-spewing ships, Blackbeard and the Queen Anne's Revenge, mermaid attacks, Ponce de Leon's lost ship, the Fountain of Youth -- but, with fish-out-of-water director Rob Marshall (Chicago, Nine) at the helm, the fourth Pirates film gets lost at sea.

"Better to not know which moment may be your last! It's a pirate's life for me, savvy?"

Gore Verbinski? Out. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley? Nowhere to be found. Johnny Depp? It seems good ol' Captain Jack earned himself a promotion, albeit to the detriment of the franchise. Don't get me wrong, Depp's Jack Sparrow is a brilliant creation; an iconic swashbuckling opportunist who's every bit as funny, charming and devious as he ever was. But when he appears in nearly every single scene, it isn't long before the dear dreadlocked cap'n wears out his welcome. The real spotlight, then, turns to Geoffrey Rush, as series mainstay Captain Barbosa, and casting coup Ian McShane, who fills the role of the most merciless Pirates villain to date: the scourge of the seven seas himself, Blackbeard. Between Rush and McShane, the film finds its sea legs and brandishes some of the scene-chewing flair the Pirates films are known for. Alas, Penélope Cruz, hiding one stage of pregnancy or another throughout the shoot, bears her teeth as Blackbeard's daughter, Angelica, but rarely bites (although, to be fair, I'm sure the baby-on-board prevented her from doing much more); newcomers Sam Clafin and Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, as a missionary and a captured mermaid who fall in love, compete for the Turner-Swan award but drown in a flood of more colorful supporting actors; Keith Richards appears and quickly disappears as Jack's father, without so much as a "sorry 'bout that" for the wasted cameo; and Marshall -- poor, well-intentioned Rob Marshall -- is out of his depth, overwhelmed by countless visual effects, sprawling set pieces and action sequences, and the sheer magnitude of the production. (And concedes as much in his director's commentary.)

And so the burden falls to returning franchise screenwriters Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott. Never mind the fact that Rossio and Elliott were responsible for the convoluted storylines that nearly wrecked Dead Man's Chest and At World's End. Never mind that a true return to form would have, at the very least, tapped fresh scribes; new writers tasked with streamlining what had become an ungainly mythos. Instead, Rossio and Elliot are handed the keys to the kingdom and, once again, over-write and under-deliver. Jack is hired by King George II to find the Fountain of Youth. Not so fast, though. He escapes and sets out to find it on his own... in a race against Barbosa (the King's second choice), a fleet of Spanish warships led by King Ferdinand's right hand man (Óscar Jaenada) and, soon enough, Blackbeard and Angelica, who force Jack to help them recover two silver chalices required to make the Fountain of Youth do its thing. Did I mention Blackbeard has a thing for voodoo and keeps a few hulking zombies in his service? Or that he's a master doll craftsman? Or that his sword can steer his ship and make it string up mutineers with a wave of its hilt? Or that most everything seems to happen for little to no reason, other than: "Oooh! Salty voodoo pirates, scantily scaled mermaids and ships trapped in magic bottles! We haven't seen this before!"

Before Blackbeard and Angelica can take advantage of the Fountain's power, though, they need a mermaid tear. And there's no sense in getting a mermaid tear if a mermaid can't join the team... and there's no sense in a mermaid joining the team if she isn't befriended by someone, and there's no sense in such a beautiful creature being befriended, and there's this missionary Blackbeard keeps alive for no good reason, and it only makes sense that he would take a liking to the mermaid (even though she and her kind revealed themselves to be ruthless sirens with a penchant for devouring hapless men), and if the missionary wins the heart of a girl then Jack has to have a conquest of his own, and if Jack needs a bit of romance in his life, and if Angelica is available... frankly, it's exhausting. Where is the breezy storytelling of Curse of the Black Pearl? The brisk adventure? The snappy dialogue? The easily digested exposition? The thrills? The intrigue? The mystery? Even when On Stranger Tides talks (and talks and talks and talks) a decent game, it comes undone the moment a sword battle erupts, a London street chase unfolds, high-flying tree to tree hijinks unfurl, a pack of mermaids attack, a see-sawing ship threatens to plunge off a cliff, or a hundred men, one feisty female and a mermaid (who appears as if from nowhere) somehow converge on the same mystical hotspot only to fight an all out war and smash a few rocks. (Don't ask.) At every turn, the resulting action hobbles, limps and shuffles along until Marshall puts it out of its misery. Even then, he never quite seems sure when he should pull the trigger. The entire film is sluggish, chunky around the waist, and the speed and surprise of previous entries is all but gone. Say what you will about Dead Man's Chest and At World's End, they at least knew how to stage a gripping showdown or two.

If it's any consolation, Depp, Rush and McShane make the whole mess more tolerable. Depp is wildly inventive and fiendishly witty (even if a slight malaise haunts his now-familiar routine), Rush stuffs gem after gem into his pockets with sneering showmanship, and McShane is a force to be reckoned with (often in spite of the distracting inconsistencies and indifference that plagues his character). And for every Cruz or Clafin slog, there's a scene-stealing bit of comic relief with Kevin McNally (returning for his fourth installment as the inexplicably loyal Joshamee Gibbs), Snatch's Stephen Graham (as a perpetually amused pirate named Scrum) and Richard Griffiths (as King George). Together, they keep the Pirates torch lit and suggest a fifth film could steer the franchise back on course. That would require a few things, though. A director who's more experienced with sweeping action and visual effects, writers willing to trim the fat and put Captain Jack back in the passenger seat, and a story with more weight, spirit and adventure. Then, and only then, will Pirates of the Caribbean be what it once was. On Stranger Tides isn't a breath of fresh sea air; it's the worst in the series, one of the most disappointing blockbusters of the year, and one of the more uneventful event-driven sequels to come along in some time. It's watchable, I'll say that much, but it isn't very memorable. And, with an unforgettable character like Captain Jack front and center, that's a major problem.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

After setting out in stormy seas -- an overcast London gives way to a torch-lit underworld which gives way to a dark and dismal pirate ship -- Disney's 1080p/AVC-encoded video transfer hits its stride. Don't misunderstand: the presentation rarely, if ever, disappoints. However, cinematographer Dariusz Wolski's smoky, shadow-slathered photography doesn't always exhibit the sort of visual pop Pirates fans might associate with the franchise. That said, color accuracy and skintone saturation are excellent, primaries have tremendous power (when given the opportunity), black levels are rich and satisfying, and contrast ranges from delightfully dreary to suitably savory to downright stunning. Fine detail rises and sets with the sun, sure, but there isn't any smearing or unintended softness on display. (The rare exception being a series of closeups of Syrena in the jungle. A bit of DNR has been applied, albeit by Marshall and his crew in post. The anomaly was visible in the film's digital theatrical presentation as well.) Textures are refined and exceptionally well-resolved (even when darkness presses in), edge definition is crisp and clean (without any significant ringing) and delineation is as revealing (or secretive) as Wolski intended. Shadows are heavy but hardly ever blot out the production design, night falls fast without completely consuming the environments, and the light fades without leaving the backgrounds to languish in its absence. Naturally, the result is an uneven presentation -- one scene will wallow in shadow while the very next scene will leap off the screen -- but only in the sense that the film's photography is purposefully uneven. Serious artifacting, banding, aliasing and crush are held at bay, and there really isn't any technical issues to speak of. Needless to say, On Stranger Tides looks great. Any Pirates fan worth their sea salt will be pleased, especially when Jack, Angelica and Blackbeard set out through a gorgeous green jungle in search of Ponce de León's ship.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

No ship to ship battles, no canon fire, no grand supernatural spectacles. What's left for an able-bodied DTS-HD Master Audio 7.1 surround track to do? Plenty apparently. Disney's lossless beastie belches fire, reigns destruction and brings On Stranger Tides roaring to sea-splitting life without so much as a single mishap or issue. It's flawless, me mateys, and every bit as powerful and immersive as its Pirates predecessors. Dialogue is brisk, lively and perfectly intelligible for start to finish, even admist all the tower explosions, mermaid attacks and surging seas. Sword clashes clang beautifully and ring true, wood splinters and stone cracks with weighty ease, and low-end elements make their presence known. (And then some.) LFE output is explosive and nuanced, rear speaker activity is aggressive and subtle, directional effects are head-turning and convincing, dynamics are startling and entrancing. Disney's lossless mix does it all, soaring to every height and diving to every depth the film's sound design requires. And Hans Zimmer's score? It belts out each dun dun dun dah dah! with a hearty laugh of multi-channel glee and sings an alluring mermaid song with soft, almost fragile effortlessness. It all comes together in one amazing 7.1 channel lossless track that stands proudly alongside its franchise brethren.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Unlike the 5-disc 3D release of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the 2-disc standard edition offers just three special features: an audio commentary, an animated Lego short, and an outtake reel. (The 3D release includes 75-minutes of documentaries, featurettes and deleted scenes on a separate BD25.) Long story short, you'll have to shell out more cash to nab every Tide extra, regardless of whether or not you have a 3D-capable display. (Of course, if special features and 3D aren't your thing, this is the release to add to your cart.)

• Disney Second Screen: Sync On Stranger Tides with your computer or iPad via Disney's downloadable app to enjoy exclusive behind-the-scenes content and other goodies.
• Audio Commentary: Executive producer John DeLuca and director Rob Marshall wander through the wake of On Stranger Tides, firing off anecdote after anecdote, discussing the difficulties they faced during production, and offering up a few refreshingly candid observations. It isn't a very insightful commentary, though, and the filmmakers tend to get caught up in complementing every performer, oohing and aahing every effect, and praising every aspect of the adventure.
• Lego Pirates of the Caribbean (HD, 5 minutes): Watch a few scenes with a Lego twist.
• Bloopers of the Caribbean (HD, 3 minutes): An outtake reel rounds out the proceedings.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

On Stranger Tides goes down with the ship without ever conjuring up enough magic to revitalize the franchise. Pirates of the Caribbean still has enormous box office draw, but if the current trend continues, you have to wonder how many more sequels audiences will gulp down before seeking out sweeter waters. Thankfully, Disney's Blu-ray release doesn't disappoint. Yes, the fact that you have to purchase the 5-disc 3D edition to get your mitts on every extra won't sit well with everyone (it doesn't sit too well with me), Disney's AV presentation more than makes up for it. If money isn't an issue, go with the 3D combo pack. If money's tight, though, shrug off the 75-minutes of extras you'll be missing and enjoy the standard 2D release for everything it does offer: a terrific video transfer and a mighty DTS-HD Master Audio 7.1 surround track.