Papua 3D Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		1.5
Audio		2.5
Extras		0.5
Overall		2.0

Papua 3D Blu-ray Movie Review

3D Media should have kept this secret to themselves...

Reviewed by Kenneth Brown June 26, 2014

3D Media has delayed and released, delayed and released... and further delayed a string of 3D nature documentaries this year and last, with several more sitting idly by on the increasingly distant horizon. The reason behind the perpetual delays is unclear -- the latest batch of titles were just pushed back from May to July, with further street date changes inbound -- but titles are slowly creeping and crawling out of the primordial ooze and onto the Blu-ray market; one by one, two by two, here a doc, there a doc, everywhere a doc-doc. Unfortunately, judging by the label's latest and not-so-greatest, these delays aren't being used to bolster or enhance the quality of the series or individual movies in any way. As natural history productions go, Papua 3D: The Secret Island of the Cannibals is a mediocre screensaver first and a woefully subpar documentary second, with sparse, unengaging factoids separated by lengthy silences. The wilderness and wildlife photography is decent enough I suppose, in a handheld home movie sort of way, but only because the shores the Rockies are already gorgeous. Filming in such a stunning locale amounts to point, shoot and impress. If only the disc's 3D and 2D AV presentations delivered anything remotely beautiful. Instead, Papua 3D, like so many before and after, is an unremarkable, underwhelming, laughably narrated bargain bin Blu-ray that isn't even worth the price of admission.

Papua New Guinea, the home island of the cannibals in the far Pacific ocean. It contains an array of islands which are significantly diversified. It's also one of the most culturally diverse countries on the Earth, with more than 840 different languages, as well as one of the most rural, as only 18 percent of its people live in urban centers. The country is one of the world's least explored, culturally and geographically, and home to many undiscovered species of plants and animals.

For all the diversity mentioned in the film's synopsis, there isn't much to the documentary itself, other than a title that suggests something more intriguing -- or at the least, more informative -- than the dry, dull drivel on tap. Cameras plunge beneath the waves, hover over the coral and, for the most part... stay beneath the waves and hover over more coral. Undersea creatures are followed and schools of fish dart by, but little else proves eventful. Footage of the island's array of incredibly interesting cultures is fleeting -- mere glimpses really -- and little detail is garnered about the people or wildlife of Papua New Guinea. And considering how muddy and diluted Secret Island's underwater footage is, there isn't really anything else capable of salvaging the chugging, churning doc, a hotel courtesy channel bore if there ever was one.

Papua 3D Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Both 3D Media's 1080p/MVC-encoded 3D experience and AVC-encoded 2D presentation are a mess from start to finish, no matter the scene. The documentary's palette bobbles between washed out, modestly strong and garishly hot, with at-times undersaturated, poorly contrasted imagery followed (sometimes within the same sequence) by unsightly, hotly contrasted photography. Primaries cross extremes too, from diluted to overbearing, as do black levels, which bounce from horribly muted to oppressive. It all bears a regrettably striking resemblance to an off-label title you'd pick up on standard DVD a decade ago, or worse, something you'd stumble across late at night while channel surfing at a low-rent roadside motel. Macroblocking is common. Banding and shimmering are at play. Aliasing and ringing are present throughout. And don't even try to catalogue the pulldown anomalies, crosstalk-prone 3D shots and other random eyesores that litter the already problematic proceedings. It's as close to a lost cause as it comes.

Detail ranges from middling to smeared to downright disheartening as well, all of which makes for an at-times grueling viewing experience, regardless of whether you select the film's 2D or 3D presentation. Worse, 3D depth is a joke (I'd argue non-existent if there weren't a handful of animal close-ups that actually have a reasonably three-dimensional appearance), dimensionality is completely disappointing, and even the best of the film's 3D scenes may as well be in 2D, as flat and uninspiring as they are. The disc's only real selling point -- the 3D -- is designed solely to lure in those still eager to buy every 3D disc on the market, whatever the consequence. And that's a rapidly dwindling subset of 3D adopters, most of whom are hopefully growing wise to the tricks of the bargain 3D trade. Is there any saving grace? Anything at all? Those who've had the misfortune to purchase other 3D Media releases already know the answer: not really. Scratch that: no, not a single thing.

Papua 3D Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Papua 3D includes two DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround tracks: the first with narration and music, the second a music-only mix. Sadly, lossless or no, narration is slightly muffled and flatly implemented, dynamics are average at best, rear speaker activity is inconsequential, and the documentary's generic, barrel-bottom music barely registers. Again, the word DVD springs to mind, even though there are a few moments that exhibit some DTS-HD heft. These moments are the exception rather than the rule, though, and the tracks are serviceable at best, if I'm being generous. Ultimately, like its video encode, Papua's lossless audio tracks flounder.

Papua 3D Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Other than the music-only lossless track, Papua 3D doesn't include any special features.

Papua 3D Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

No. No. No. No. Never have such stunning, fascinating places been so tiresome and off-putting. Screensavers at best, 3D Media's docu-duds are a waste of time and money. The video presentations may as well be hitched to DVDs, the 3D experiences falter and fail, the DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround tracks are merely passable, and there aren't any special features to speak of. A bargain price may sound like a bargain, but don't be so easily fooled. Sometimes you get what you pay for... other times you just get ripped off.