Rating summary

Movie		4.5
Video		4.0
Audio		4.5
Extras		0.0
Overall		4.0

Nine Queens Blu-ray Movie Review

"Can't you see the way she swings her ass? There are no saints."

Reviewed by Kenneth Brown January 7, 2025

In 1994, Pulp Fiction unwittingly launched a new genre: two criminals talking. Light on plot, even lighter on action, Two Criminals Talking films became the late '90s and early aughts' crime caper du jour, here and abroad. Argentenia's Spanish-language Nine Queens rarely features much more than two men chit-chattin' away -- Gastón Pauls' Juan almost always to the left, Ricardo Darín's Marcos to the right -- other than when one of several exceedingly minor characters interrupt the banter, which primarily consists of plotting, scheming and the occasional tale of criminality. It's as repetitive as can be. So why is it so compelling? How does writer/director Fabián Bielinsky (The Aura, Sleepwalker) craft so much out of so little? And why, days later, am I still thinking about Nine Queens?

Nine Queens tells the story of two small-time swindlers, Juan (Gastón Pauls) and Marcos (Ricardo Darín), who team up after meeting in a convenience store only to become involved in a half million-dollar deal. As the deceptions and duplicity mount, it becomes more and more difficult to figure out who's conning whom as we begin to wonder, "who isn't a thief?" The film also briefly features Leticia Brédice, Oscar Nuñez, Ignasi Abadal, Tomás Fonzi, Celia Juárez, Alejandro Awada, Elsa Berenguer, Antonio Ugo, Claudio Rissi, Roly Serrano, Jorge Noya and Ricardo Díaz Mourelle.

Quentin Tarantino by way of David Mamet (with a dash of Guy Ritchie's Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Bielinsky's Nine Queens is a slowburn Run Lola Run, firing off dialogue with little care for how much collateral damage the endless conversations risk inflicting on the audience. It's that confidence that allows the script to deliver and the visuals, minimalistic as they are, to serve Bielinsky so well. The wisecracks, schemes and back-and-forth come fast and furiously, frequently earning a sharp laugh or knowing smirk. The criminal plotting is dense, almost too complicated for its own good, but Marcos is such a quick-thinking con artist that it grows on you quickly. Juan is the more reserved of the two, but his observational wit and wile is the perfect pairing with Marcos' open-collar dervishes, and the two make easy friends, easier crooks, but far more complicated partners. Who to trust is always up in the air, for one another as characters and for the audience watching it all unfold as well. Never quite sure if I was Bielinsky's mark, I found myself surprisingly guarded throughout much of the feature, just waiting for the inevitable moment that I discovered I was the one not paying enough attention.

If you squint and tilt your head to the side, you can see Adam Sandler and Chris Pine sliding into the shoes of Marcos and Juan almost too effortlessly. The Argentine duo are just as magnetic, though, concocting elaborate ways to steadily increase their "profit shares" without allowing anyone to walk away the wiser. Other than a mistake made at the film's opening grocery store, the pair don't misstep often. Even when one or both of them do, they adapt immediately, wriggling and wiggling their way out of trouble with the smoothness of true criminals. The twists and double crosses are almost too much to manage actually, though by film's everything that transpires makes good sense. (It's a tad convenient that everything comes down to one last "con" reveal, but it's fun, so go with it.) Pauls and Darín are so electric, generating such palpable chemistry, that the whole multi-staged madness works and works wonderfully well. It's rare I itch for an English-language remake, but small changes would go a long way to creating a completely different experience. Ultimately, Nine Queens probably isn't on anyone's radar. It should be, though. Take the risk. Gamble on Juan and Marcos. I suspect you won't regret it.

Nine Queens Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Juan and Marcos pop in the foreground of every shot thanks to a striking 1080p/AVC-encoded video transfer from Sony Pictures. Edge halos are the biggest nuisance here -- easily ignored as they are -- and Bielinsky and cinematographer Marcelo Camorino's intentions have been honored to the letter. (I'd wager any sharpening is part of the original source rather than Sony's efforts but have no way of verifying.) Colors are weighted with an obvious blue tint but skin tones remain relatively lifelike throughout, black levels are always satisfying, and Camorino's palette is suitably evocative of the chatty crime dramas of the era. Detail is exacting as well, with crisp edge definition and moderately refined textures. Don't misunderstand, Nine Queens doesn't offer the sharpest picture, but the encode also looks perfectly filmic, without any banding, blocking or the like to contend with. I'm on the line between a 4.0 and a 4.5 so I'm going to go with my gut and round downward, although a 4.25 would be just as fair if I could utilize quarter points.

Nine Queens Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The magic of Sony's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track is in its reproduction of place and spaces. Juan and Marcos do a lot of walking, particularly down bustling city streets, and the soundfield is alive and animated with near-constant noise. Even when moving indoors, the distant drone of traffic and the cityscape is often heard, showing off just how much work has been invested in the sound design, surround channels and rear speaker activity. Directionality is precise, pans are deceptively slick, and dynamics are excellent, with a healthy dose of LFE oomph for good measure. Dialogue, meanwhile, is clear and intelligible at all times, prioritization is spot on (taking into account the smaller details of sound design when the soundfield is a tad chaotic), and immersiveness is high. Enjoy.

Nine Queens Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

No extras are included.

Nine Queens Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

My favorite thing about reviewing is the opportunity to recommend movies people might never know about otherwise, and Nine Queens is just such a film. Its Sony Pictures Blu-ray release makes it that much easier to recommend too, thanks to a strong video presentation and excellent DTS-HD Master Audio track.