Rating summary

Movie		4.0
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		4.0
Overall		4.0

Night Train to Terror Blu-ray Movie Review

Next stop, confusionville.

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf October 5, 2013

How does one make a weird horror film weirder? Include footage from three abandoned suspense pictures, tying it all together with a wraparound story feature God, Satan, and a group of new wave rockers from the 1980s jamming inside a locomotive. “Night Train to Terror” is a pleasingly bonkers creation that doesn’t even pretend to make sense, instead providing genre maniacs with random images of violence, torment, and nudity as it winds through four different stories of doom. The 1985 effort is a madhouse of ghoulish delights, boosted by performance sincerity that turns a horribly dated musical number into a jubilant lighthouse for a profoundly confused endeavor. It’s coarse, gruesome, and clearly created to relieve the financial pressure of someone tied to the production, but it certainly isn’t a boring movie. Watching “Night Train to Terror” feels like sitting through a horror film festival with a heavy finger resting on the fast-forward button, zooming to all the grisly goodies before it’s on to the next sinister story.

On a train bound for Las Vegas, a band of musical misfits play their heart out, with only a single night porter as their audience. In the back car, God (credited as God, but played by Ferdy Mayne) and Satan (Lu Sifer, but actually Tony Giorgio) discuss ownership of souls, with the train destined to explode in two hours. Hoping to convince each other of their special spiritual viewpoint, three stories are shared that present tests of humanity and goodliness in the face of horror. In “The Case of Harry Billings,” Harry (John Phillip Law) is an average man pulled into a macabre psych ward, shocked and drugged into retrieving women, bringing them back for butchering as the doctors carry out their plan to sell body parts to medical schools. In “The Case of Gretta Connors,” Glenn (Rick Barnes) is a young man who’s grown obsessed with porn star Gretta (Merideth Haze), eventually wooing her, only to be lured into an underground cult known as the Death Club, where members get off on the suffering of others. And “The Case of Claire Hansen,” The Lieutenant (Cameron Mitchell) is pulled into an odd case when a WWII death camp survivor recognizes Olivier (Robert Bristol), a former Nazi now entrenched in high society, disturbed by the man’s ageless appearance. As author James (Richard Moll) prepares his ultimate statement of atheism, Lieutenant delves deeper into Olivier’s history, making a shocking discovery about his true identity.

As previously mentioned, “Night Train to Terror” is built out of spare parts from other movies. Instead of filming segments that create a true omnibus experience, the producers have repurposed footage from “Scream Your Head Off” (which was left unfinished until 1992), “Cataclysm,” and “Death Wish Club,” though these endeavors have enjoyed several titles and edits throughout the years. The actual use of these pictures is unintentionally hilarious, with stories shorn of purpose, molested beyond recognition as director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen picks out the most violent elements of each feature to shape new dramatic identities. The segments are completely nonsensical, boiled down to the basics of conflict with coherence a pest, getting in the way of nightmarish imagery that favors chopped limbs, stop-motion animated bugs and demons, and the numerous physical games played the Death Club, who delight in the possibility of random electrocutions or being squished by a swinging wrecking ball. If it sounds like a mess, it is, but there’s a charm to the scanning mentality, trimming away the considerable fat of these bottom shelf accomplishments to focus on the reason anyone sits through these things to begin with (nudity is also a plus). “Night Train to Terror” is brazenly bewildering but undeniably compelling, if only to see how Schlossberg-Cohen extensively reorganizes the segments to fit his needs.

There’s also this kooky business with the band, a group of highly decorated kids unknowingly riding to their doom while repeatedly rocking out to the one song they’ve choreographed. Obviously, this is one-way ticket to goofball city, but the performances add to the insanity of the feature, stopping the action to witness the group share their MTV daydreams with the camera, with their fate worked over by God and Satan in the back. To keep the experience thoroughly ‘80s, there’s a breakdancing sequence presented as well. Keep in mind the lead singer/electric boogaloo master is the screenwriter’s son, and the musical interludes make more sense.

As for the religious figures, their battle of compassion and destruction is a highlight of “Night Train to Terror,” offering the feature a mild philosophical curve before Schlossberg-Cohen returns to the previously filmed nonsense. Although their discussion of free will and passion for the collection of souls truly has no bearing on the outcome of the movie, it’s amusing to watch the actors dig into their parts, while Gabriel Whitehouse hams it up as the toadying conductor, keeping the men on task before the train reaches its final destination.

Night Train to Terror Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation on "Night Train to Terror" has its age issues, with debris, scratches, and assorted irregularities visible throughout the movie, though rarely does anything distract from the viewing experience. Blacks have moments of crush, but the depth of evening sequences remains open for exploration, along with dense hairstyles. Colors are satisfactory, offering hearty reds for the horror elements, while costuming with the train band is alert with various hues. There's also passable consistency between footage, with minimal discrepancies in grain management. Fine detail is pleasant for facial response and gore zone textures, offering an ample image for a softly shot picture with troublesome source materials. A little rough around the edges, "Night Train to Terror" nevertheless looks welcoming on BD.

Night Train to Terror Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix is expectedly basic in design, with only a few crispy highs that test hearing tolerance. Dialogue exchanges are stable and clear, with nothing lost during conversations and assorted horror happenings. Atmospherics are adequate, while sound effects are easily discernible, adding to the more overt scare scenes. Soundtracks selections are prominent and pleasing, bringing the movie to life with instrumentation and a heavier synth-based feel. Scoring is supportive without obstructing the action. Hiss and pops are a rare event.

Night Train to Terror Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

On Blu-ray:

• Interview with director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen (offered as an audio track) is a breathless recollection of his career, working through initial interests in musical theater to his entry into the film business, where he met all types of crazy characters and cantankerous industry veterans. Schlossberg-Cohen doesn't need much prodding to launch into extended anecdotes, and his range of experience is vast, taking nearly 50 minutes before talk of "Nigh Train to Terror" begins. The conversation is all over the map, requiring a little extra patience, but once the helmer is focused, BTS information just pours out of him.

• Commentary with The Hysteria Continues collects comments and thoughts from a team of bloggers, who share a little background information on "Night Train to Terror," but mostly launch terrible, mean-spirited jokes about the film and its ensemble. Tiresome play-by-play is common as well. The educational benefits of the conversation are minimal, leaving the track strictly for die-hard fans of the movie.

• A Theatrical Trailer (2:40, HD) is included.

On DVD:

• "Gretta" (91:06, SD) is the full-length version of "The Case of Gretta Conners," revealing an entire story behind the select snippets that appear in "Night Train to Terror." Also of interest are the horror sequences, which are radically different than what was ultimately cooked up for its anthology film debut.

• Interview (29:35) with editor Wayne Schmidt (presented as an audio track) covers his industry history and time working on other features. The conversation does turn to "Gretta" and its checkered production history, eventually contorted to fit the needs of "Night Train to Terror." Lots of interesting BTS stories about industry players are included.

Night Train to Terror Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Night Train to Terror" isn't polished cinema. In fact, it's barely passable, more engaging as a cult oddity with a master plan of recycling that's fascinating to watch unfold. The make-up and stop-motion animation is also amusing to observe, watching the feature paste over bland footage to generate a scary movie atmosphere built entirely out of randomly selected visceral highlights. Any attempt to take the picture seriously or follow its narrative could result in an immediate loss of brain activity. It's best to shut that cranial nuisance off and enjoy the bumpy ride.