Night Patrol Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		1.0
Video		3.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		1.5
Overall		3.0

Night Patrol Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf January 21, 2020

Murray Langston achieved a mild degree of success as a comedian in the 1970s, making the rounds on television variety shows and “Candid Camera,” trying to build demand for his services. Fame was elusive, forcing Langston to take a gig on “The Gong Show,” carrying such shame about the appearance, he decided to cover his head with the paper bag and tell jokes as “The Unknown Comic.” The bit, meant to be a lark, ended up taking Langston to the big time, finding his hook as a speedy jester without an identity. “Night Patrol” is created to do something with that pop culture visibility, with Langston co-writing and starring in a picture that’s meant to showcase his abilities as a leading man and celebrate his sense of humor, calling in comedy club pals to help boost the marketplace appeal of the feature. The 1984 endeavor is certainly the work of Langston, who puts his faith in director Jackie Kong (who also co-scripts) to translate his brand of funny business to the big screen. The result is an extraordinarily painful viewing experience, with “Night Patrol” intentionally striving to be odious and lazy, finding Kong way out of her element as a mastermind of silliness, while Langston’s taste in punchlines is remarkably dire.

Officer Melvin (Murray Langston) is a meek cop doing his best to keep the back alleys and parks of Los Angeles safe for all, only to be confronted with worst the city has to offer. His bumbling ways are noticed by Captain Lewis (Billy Barty), who partners Melvin up with Kent (Pat Paulson), a womanizing member of the night patrol. The duo ventures into the overnight shift, dealing with all sorts of violence and community problems, but they encounter a greater menace with The Unknown Comic, a growing comedy club star who also dabbles in armed robberies. As the masked man, Melvin finds his career rising thanks to his agent, Kate (Jaye P. Morgan), who aims to make him the big thing in Las Vegas. However, duty calls, with Melvin and Kent looking to discover the imposter causing all sorts of trouble for local nightlife establishments, joined by Officer Sue (Linda Blair), a dispatcher who’s madly in love with Melvin.

“Night Patrol” is often listed as a post-“Police Academy” cash-in production, and while it was released after the Steve Guttenberg-led smash hit, Langston’s big movie was actually filmed in 1983. “Airplane!” is the primary influence on the production, which aims to be as wacky as possible for as long as possible, delivering a never-ending string of sight gags, puns, one-liners, and general tomfoolery, tossing any old idea on the screen to see what sticks. Amazingly, nothing does, and the material defines its depth with Melvin’s introduction, following the cop on the job as he interacts with daily events. For “Night Patrol,” this means stepping in fecal matter and being urinated on by a dog, eating an apple with a worm inside of it, and dealing with an insane sexual predator who drives a car while wearing a straitjacket, keeping a dead body in the trunk. Bizarrely, the man is poorly dubbed in French, which, according to Kong, makes the scene funnier. She’s wrong, but that doesn’t stop her from returning to this idea, as Melvin and Kent also try to stop a middle-aged Caucasian mass shooter who’s dubbed in Japanese, and there’s a moment with a male rape victim (Pat Morita) who’s dubbed with a female voice. Oh, how I wish these were the worst moments of the movie.

“Night Patrol” starts off painfully unfunny and only gets worse from there. There’s Captain Lewis, who, for reasons not explained, is accompanied by fart noises during his screen time. Stereotype humor is a large component of the writing, with a pair of gay cops turned into mincing fools excited to wear dresses during an undercover operation, and Melvin and Kent visit a lesbian bar to investigate a crime, noting how the ladies play pool with no balls. And if you’re thinking, “Surely this movie wouldn’t resort to blackface to get laughs, right?” Well, I’m sorry to report that it does, with the last act of the effort devoted to a painted Melvin and Kent trying to infiltrate a black club. It’s as awful as a reads.

Less lethal bits are present, including riffs on “Chariots of Fire” and E.F. Hutton commercials, and Kong thinks she has a glorious running gag with Kent’s lady-killer ways, sexualizing the aged comic. There’s some undercranked nonsense and lots of time with The Unknown Comic, as “Night Patrol” comes off as a commercial for Langston, who turns a cop comedy into a club showcase, exploring the one-joke nature of the bagged performer, who’s turned into a sensation by Kate, picking him over an eager Tony, played by a young Andrew Dice Clay.

Night Patrol Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.78:1 aspect ratio) presentation for "Night Patrol" isn't a fresh scan of the feature, and there's a good amount of wear and tear, with the main titles especially rough with scratches. Blemishes and speckling are also present during the viewing experience. Detail isn't strong, but frame information isn't completely diluted, finding costuming keeping some texture, and facial surfaces are passable. Club interiors capture design elements, and exteriors offer limited dimension. Colors aren't remarkable, but primaries are acceptable, doing fine with blue uniforms and California greenery. Club lighting is livelier. Skintones are natural. Delineation struggles with solidification at times. Grain is on the chunky side.

Night Patrol Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix isn't created with a dynamic design, offering a basic collection of dialogue exchanges, with much of the film and its "comedy" dubbed for maximum wackiness. Voices are intelligible and personalities register acceptably, with a few crispy highs found during the listening event. Soundtrack selections also come across flat, but inherently so, offering simple instrumentation, while scoring cues offer thin synth. Atmospherics aren't special, handling group activity, and sound effects are limited. Some popping is detected.

Night Patrol Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• T.V. Spot (:30, SD) includes one commercial for "Night Patrol."

• And a Theatrical Trailer (1:43, SD) is included.

Night Patrol Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

There are lowbrow jokes galore in "Night Patrol," and also slightly more innocent ideas, including a conclusion that encourages audience participation via multiple-choice questions. A Sergio Leone parody is here to keep film nerds happy. Kong keeps the jokes coming, and I suppose there's a certain charm in a film that has no concept how unfunny it actually is, refusing to give up despite ample evidence that nothing in the screenplay or technical execution is actually working. There's a distinct idea to replicate "Airplane!" energy with an R-rated direction (Kong is attentive to cursing and nudity), but there's zero effort to refine anything. If it's there, it just goes in the movie. Langston and Kong deliver a scattergun viewing experience, and one that doesn't even provide its titular promise of a police misfit comedy. Instead, it's all about The Unknown Comic and Langston's hope to extend the pop culture life of his gimmick. Unless you're a "Gong Show" fanatic, there's little reason to sit through "Night Patrol."