Microwave Massacre Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		2.5
Overall		2.0

Microwave Massacre Blu-ray Movie Review

Undercooked.

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman August 16, 2016

Just in case your appetite hadn’t been whetted by the antics of 1982’s cannibalism comedy Eating Raoul, the following year offered a new item on this rather bizarre menu, 1983’s cannibalism comedy Microwave Massacre. Despite certain similarities in content and at least fleetingly in tone, the two films are resolutely different, with Eating Raoul coming off as a fairly tart soufflé, despite its more provocative elements, in comparison to Microwave Massacre’s denser and frankly less funny mix of ingredients. Part of what gives Eating Raoul its comedic momentum is the fact that the cannibalism serves as a means to an end, the upward mobility of the film’s focal couple. In Microwave Massacre, it just kind of happens and the comedy is expected to simply flow from that event, I guess like juices from a well cooked side of meat. There’s actually no real momentum at all to much of Microwave Massacre, comedic or otherwise, with Jackie Vernon on hand as Donald, a hapless shlub of a construction worker who’s living his own 20th century version of The Taming of the Shrew, albeit without that helpful taming part. Donald’s wife May (Claire Ginsberg) actually shares some of the same proclivities as Paul and Mary do in Eating Raoul, especially in terms of wanting to better her lot in life, something she (like the couple in the earlier film) think can be attained, at least in part, by fine dining. Donald isn’t convinced, however, and finds her cooking efforts disconcerting, making him an outcast rather than one of the in crowd. When a little “domestic incident” leads to May’s demise, Donald is left with a side of beef he never expected to have, and therein lies the supposed comedic predicament of the film.

Part of what ails Microwave Massacre is the fact that the whole cannibalism angle, supposedly the film’s raison d'être, doesn’t even really enter the fray until around the 30 minute mark (and, yes, I did just use the term raison d'être with regard to this film). That leaves the opening half hour or so to wallow in silly exploits like the opening sequence which features a rather buxom beauty sticking her “assets” through a hole in a wall surrounding a construction site, to the amazement of several construction workers. (The commentary mentions that this sequence was thought up on the fly when the proposed opening, of May doing grocery shopping, was nixed when the grocery store they had scouted refused to let the crew shoot there.) It’s obvious from the get go that Microwave Massacre is not going to be a paradigm of wit, and in fact even some of the unapologetically juvenile humor fails to really connect due to some less than felicitous writing and a kind of “not ready for prime time” ambience with regard to several of the performers.

Another kind of odd and hobbling aspect to the film is May herself. She’s obviously supposed to be an unrequited harridan, and yet at the core of the character is an aging wife who’s evidently trying to woo her husband back into romantic clinches courtesy of gourmet food. That subtext tends to subvert the interchanges between May and Donald, and it in fact makes Donald kind of a heel when you get right down to it, despite the fact that Thomas Singer’s screenplay ultimately gives lip service (literally and figuratively) to May’s more argumentative tendencies. The attack scene where Donald finally mitigates May’s bitchiness is surprisingly effective on one level, but it also seems to just kind of come out of nowhere, the desperate measure of a desperate screenwriter rather than a desperate character.

The rest of the film just kind of ambles along aimlessly, with Donald taking care of business (so to speak) by adding a few other “ingredients” to his May main course, and sharing his handiwork with his coworkers Philip (Al Troup) and Roosevelt (Loren Schein). Some unabashedly politically incorrect humor is repeatedly utilized with regard to the construction workers, including some patently anti-gay jokes which probably weren’t all that funny in 1983 and may in fact strike some as downright objectionable in 2016. Through it all Jackie Vernon (evidently a second choice after Rodney Dangerfield couldn’t be corralled for the role) assumes his typical hangdog mien, but he simply doesn’t have much to actually work with. Whole seeming subplots or supporting characters are introduced, like the bizarre neighbors or the Gladys Kravitz type who shows up later to check on May, but nothing is ever developed well enough to warrant much in the laughs department. This is one cinematic meal that definitely could have used more spicing up. The result is not so much bland as it is largely forgettable.

Microwave Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Microwave Massacre is presented on Blu-ray courtesy of Arrow Video with an AVC encoded 1080p transfer in 1.85:1. Arrow provides the following information about the transfer:

Microwave Massacre was restored by Arrow Films and is presented in its original aspect ratio of 1.85 with mono sound.

All restoration work was carried out at Deluxe Restoration, London. The original 35mm camera negative was scanned in 2K on a pin-registered Arriscan and was graded on a Baselight. The soundtrack was transferred and conformed from the original tape masters.

Thousands of instances of dirt, debris and light scratches were removed through a combination of digital restoration tools. Overall image stability and instances of density fluctuation were also improved.

With an understanding that Microwave Massacre was shot on a miniscule budget, this transfer boasts a generally very pleasing look, especially when the film ventures out of doors in more brightly lit environments. Here the palette pops agreeably well and detail levels are generally very good, especially in close-ups. There is still a somewhat heterogeneous appearance on tap, with varying levels of clarity and grain structure, and a few darker moments can get pretty chunky looking (see screenshot 19), and some opticals offer some compression challenges (see screenshot 5). Elements are either in great condition or have been restored to appear so, with very little to complain about in terms of scratches or flecks. While often showing signs of its lo-fi origins, this high definition presentation should please the film's fans.

Microwave Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Microwave Massacre features a mono soundtrack in English delivered via LPCM, and while nothing to blow an audiophile's socks off, thing sound decent, with effects like the low frequency hum of the microwave oven coming through with a fair amount of force if not a lot of depth. Leif Horvath's variably effective score also sounds fine, but suffers from some really rough music editing which tends to simply cut cues off mid-phrase at times as scenes change. Dialogue comes through just fine, with no discernable differences between the studio set scenes and some of the location work at the construction site.

Microwave Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• My Microwave Massacre Memoirs (1080p; 21:07) features 2015 interviews with Craig Muckler, Wayne Berwick and Loren Schein.


• Image Gallery (1080p)


• Trailer (1080p; 1:25)


• Audio Commentary features a garrulous Craig Muckler hosted by Mike Tristano. The disc menu incorrectly lists Wayne Berwick as the crew participant, but the sleeve correctly lists Muckler.

Additionally the insert booklet features an essay, stills and information about the transfer.

Microwave Massacre Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

If you see only one American made cannibalism comedy this year, you'd probably do better with Eating Raoul than with Microwave Massacre (there are of course foreign films about cannibalism like Delicatessen, not to mention totally outré outings like Cannibal! The Musical). This is a film that has a decent enough premise, but simply suffers from ham handed (sorry) writing and some ineffective performance choices. Fans of the film should be well pleased with the technical merits of this release, and as usual Arrow has assembled some enjoyable supplements.