Marmaduke Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		3.5
Extras		2.0
Overall		2.0

Marmaduke Blu-ray Movie Review

(Insert terrible, dog-related pun here.)

Reviewed by Casey Broadwater September 2, 2010

So, when I popped in Marmaduke, I made a little bet with myself on how long it would take before someone in the film dropped a “Who Let the Dogs Out” reference. My guess was 30 minutes, and I was close—the inevitable happened 35 minutes into this glossy big-screen adaptation of Brad Anderson’s long-running comic strip. I was kind of surprised it took as long as it did. There are certain conventions by which all modern, talking-dog films must abide: 1.) A dog must pee on something or fart for comic effect. 2.) A Chihuahua must be voiced by a Hispanic actor. 3.) Someone must play—or at least mention—“Who Let the Dogs Out.” Mamaduke follows all three rules, but wait! There’s an M. Night Shyamalan-sized twist. Co-star George Lopez does not voice a frisky Taco Bell dog—as he did in Beverly Hills Chihuahua—but rather lends his vocal talents to a surly Balinese cat! (Granted, the cat is named “Carlos.”) This, however, is as surprising as Marmaduke gets. The film would easily win my yearly “Worst Film Starring Live Action, CGI-Assisted, Anthropomorphized Animals” award, if it weren’t for Furry Vengeance, a movie so gratingly awful that I’d rather have a back alley root canal sans-Novocaine than watch it again. Marmaduke may be tired and uninspired, but at least I finished it with my love of humanity intact.

The tallest in his class...

First Marley & Me, and now Marmaduke. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if Owen Wilson started doing commercials for the ASPCA. The middle Wilson brother provides the voice for the film’s gangly Great Dane, a loveable mutt with big paws and an even bigger heart. (Awww!) He’s also got a big mouth, which, thanks to the movie magic of CGI, flaps and waggles in a grotesque mimicry of human utterance. And he talks non- stop. I get it—Marmaduke is an excitable dog, easily enthused—but Wilson’s stream of canine consciousness narration is ceaselessly yappy. He reminds me why I’m a cat man, myself. Speaking of cats, Carlos the Balinese is maybe in six scenes, but George Lopez still shares top billing with Wilson, even though he’s the runt of the film’s voice talent litter. And what a large litter. Kiefer Sutherland is the “bad dog,” an antagonistic Beauceron with a jealousy problem. Steve Coogan is an intellectual Dachshund who talks in a brisk British clip. Marlon and Damon Wayans play a pair of Miniature Pinschers. Sam Elliott is “Chupadogra,” a monster-like English Mastiff. The Black Eyed Peas’ Fergie is a damn sexy Collie. And Emma Stone is Maize, an Australian Shepherd with eyes for Marmaduke. Watching the film is like playing celebrity charades down at the local animal shelter. (“That isn’t Kiefer Sutherland, is it?” inquired my wife from an adjacent room. “What’s he doing in this?”)

The story is a loose assemblage of the usual kid-movie conventions, a mix of animal antics, dumb jokes, and somber lesson learning. Marmaduke’s family moves to southern California from rural Kansas when dad Phil (Lee Pace) gets a job doing PR work for an organic pet food company. The CEO (a completely wasted William H. Macy) likes to do business in the local dog park, so while Phil comes up with slogans and promotional events, Marmaduke gets to go to the doggy equivalent of high school. The park is controlled by The Pedigrees, a clique led by vicious surf-dog Bosco (Sutherland), and since Marmaduke is clearly not a full-blooded Great Dane—I dunno, he looks it to me—he falls in with a pack of lovable mutts. Basically, the nerds. The Duke gets in trouble when he starts flirting with Bosco’s silky- furred lady friend (Fergie), ignoring the Australian Shepherd (Stone) who really loves him. You can expect the film’s resolution to be accompanied by an “all dogs are created equal” message. Meanwhile, Phil gets caught up in his work and fails to tend to the needs of his wife, Debbie (Judy Greer), and kids, who are all a little homesick for Kansas. Phil’s in the dog house, essentially, but he wins back his family’s good graces when he rescues Marmaduke from a storm drain.

The film isn’t funny—not for adults, anyway—but then again, neither is the comic strip, which can be grouped together with Family Circus in the “Corny, Sentimental Stuff My Grandma Sticks to Her Refrigerator” category. (No offense, grandma.) The film tries to be more with it, but the result is usually a lame riff on dated slang, like “Cowa-barka!” or “Get your bark on.” Still, I won’t dispute the cold hard fact that 5-year-olds will probably think Marmaduke is the best thing to come along since…well, the last talking dog movie. Canines surf and bust CGI dance moves! Phil pratfalls trying to take The Duke for a walk! A delinquent doggy pees in a cup, and then a person drinks it! What’s not to love? This is family-friendly “comedy” at its most innocuous—that is to say, dull and derivative. The best kid’s movies go beyond mere entertainment to act as a catalyst for imaginative playtime. Marmaduke never does. Unless, that is, your kid is creatively inspired by flatulence. Who knows? The film can be summed up in one of its first scenes. Marmaduke is lying on Phil and Debbie’s bed. Right as the two humans are about to kiss, the Great Dane lets out a particularly juicy fart. “I know it’s juvenile,” he says, “but it’s all I got.”

Marmaduke Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Marmaduke bounds onto Blu-ray with a 1080p/AVC-encoded transfer that has all the visual hallmarks of a kid's movie—bright, borderline-unnatural lighting, vivid colors, and tight, eye-popping contrast. From So Cal sunshine on ultra-green grass to crisp ocean blues and blazing neon lights under the boardwalk, Marmaduke's color palette is intense. And thanks to deep black levels, the image has real punch and presence. Granted, it's all stylized to the point of looking slightly artificial, but if you can buy talking dogs, you'll buy the uber-saturated world that Marmaduke inhabits. (Although you may be put off by the sometimes mildly creepy CGI mouth movements.) The film was shot on 35mm and the picture is overlaid with a fine layer of grain—no digital scrubbing here—that rarely ever spikes in intensity. Overall clarity isn't as sharp as some other recent releases—softness sometimes creeps in, especially in shots with clear green screen matting—but you'll frequently make out individual hairs in tufts of fur, the texture of wet noses, and facial detail on the human actors. Compression artifacts are kept to a satisfying minimum, and the print—as you'd expect from a contemporary title—is pristine. No real complaints here.

Marmaduke Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The same goes for the film's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track, which is pretty typical for kid flick fare, but possibly better than you might expect. Obviously, Marmaduke gets up to all kinds of antics in this 88-minute gag fest— from busting up a Dance Dance Revolution machine to riding a massive pipeline wave in a surfing contest—so there's ample opportunity for the track to strain at its leash. The effects are all well-implemented and even show off some satisfying dynamic oomph when the LFE channel is activated. The rear channels are by no means prolific in their output, but you will hear plenty of ambience—surf sounds at the ocean, barks all around, bird calls in the dog park—along with the occasional cross-channel pan. Although the dubbed-in dialogue from the voice actors sometimes feels acoustically different from the lines spoken by the live action stars, it's always easy to make out what's being said. Numerous subtitle options are available in easy-to-read white lettering.

Marmaduke Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Puppy Marmaduke and Kitty Carlos: Home Movies (1080p, 3:28)
"Home video" footage of the "baby" versions of Marmaduke and Carlos interacting. Cute.

Marmaduke Mayhem! Gag Reel (1080p, 2:40)
This is, quite literally, a gag reel. At one point, the dog that plays Marmaduke wolfs down a slice of pizza, and an animal handler reaches down into his gob and fetches it out before the dog has a chance to swallow it.

Deleted Scenes (1080p, 9:28)
Includes eight excised scenes.

Cowabarka! (1080p, 5:17)
Behind-the-scenes footage of the surfing scene.

Canine Casting (1080p, 2:49)
A look inside the canine casting room.

Theatrical Trailer (1080p, 2:11)

Sneak Peak (1080p, 4:05)
Includes peaks at Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel and Percy Jackson.

BD-Live Extras

Exclusive: The Fabulous Life of Hollywood Pets (720p, 3:59)
Members of the cast and crew talk about their own pups.

Marmaduke Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Skip this "tail?" Lazy, long-in-the-tooth doggerel? All bark and no comedic bite? Ought to be put down? You'll want to leave it on "paws?" Marma-dookie? Okay, that's it. I'm all out. What more is there to say about Marmaduke? Kids'll probably like it, but parents will want to hide for its 87-minute duration. This is right down there with Garfield at the bottom of the list of ill-advised comic strip adaptations. A sequel, unfortunately, seems inevitable.