Magic Journey to Africa 3D Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		0.5
Video		3.5
Audio		3.0
Extras		2.0
Overall		2.5

Magic Journey to Africa 3D Blu-ray Movie Review

Nightmares and stomach aches inbound...

Reviewed by Kenneth Brown April 24, 2013

It isn't often that I'm at a loss for words, but wow. Just... wow. Magic Journey to Africa is an IMAX 3D "experience" so strange, so dysfunctional, so bizarrely conceived and haphazardly assembled that I honestly don't even know where to begin, other than to clarify what it's not. It isn't a nature documentary, unless talking animals, spirit quests and flying horses constitute natural history. It isn't exactly a family drama, unless a paper-thin plot, mind-numbing dialogue, god-awful CG and a trippy, wildly nonsensical trek to Africa passes for kid-friendly fun these days. It isn't really much of anything in between either, offering nothing in the way of education or entertainment. So what is Magic Journey to Africa? Best I can tell: a dull, puzzling, disastrous waste of time.

So remember, kids: cheetahs only attack if you run.

The story, insomuch as I can decipher it, involves a ten-year-old girl named Jana (Eva Gerretsen) who becomes fascinated by a young African thief (Michael Van Wyk) she sees stealing a cell phone in Barcelona. Later, after visiting the boy -- now suddenly hospitalized and on his death bed -- Jana is whisked away to his homeland by a glowing fairy (voiced by Leonor Watling), where she wanders the vast plains and deserts of South Africa, Namibia and the Sahara, encountering a variety of terrifying CG/animal hybrids along the way, most of whom have nothing better to do than chat with whatever dream child crosses their path. Unfortunately, none of the beasties make an attempt to eat the girl, which would have improved matters tremendously.

It's here, alone in the wilderness and unnaturally at ease about the whole thing, that Jana meets a slack-eyed caracal, a stoic cheetah, a discontented zebra and an Aslan-esque lion with a Spanish accent (who recently lost the love of his life to a truck full of maniac hunters), all the while relying on a toy horse (that transforms into a winged Pegasus, of course) to transport her from one random hotspot to the next. But that's only a hint of the mystical abominations and aimless destinations that lie ahead. Before journey's end, Jana befriends a young Namibian tribesman named Mel (Raymond Mvula), gets advice from a fire spirit (Harris Gordon), discovers firsthand that falling stars turn into books, converses with a quasi-undead elephant, meets a shape-shifting wereowl (John Whiteley) and, for kicks, learns a life lesson or two in the process. You know. Just another average, everyday African safari.

Try as I might, I have nothing positive to say about writer/director Jordi Llompart's obviously well-intentioned but horribly misguided adventure into the spiritual realms of a little girl's imagination. It's a psuedo-documentary by way of a debilitating drug-addled delusion, and the only mild enjoyment to be had is imagining that a vindictive pizza-parlor waiter somehow slipped a powerful hallucinogen into Jana's soda at the beginning of the film. It isn't a dream! It's a '70s cult classic! Woo! No amount of fantasy can overcome Journey's sun-baked script and nightmare-inducing visuals, though, much less its wooden performances, disjointed episodic fancies, bloated runtime (yep, even at 49-minutes), bargain bin cinematography, pedestrian score or dead-end fairy tale.

Parents will be left rubbing their foreheads, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of the end credits, and wondering where it all went wrong. Older kids will be left confused and even a bit disoriented. (Quoth my son, a mere fifteen minutes into the movie: "my stomach hurts.") And young children will be bored out of their minds; lighting up only when an animal opens its hideous CG mouth or a flying horse soars over the dunes of the Sahara. Although chances are they won't be excited by Llompart's talking cats, spirit guides and creatures at all. They'll be creeped out, right along with the rest of the family. So if you're looking for a way to introduce your kids to abstract horror, obscure '60s and '70s surrealist cinema or movies that are so bad they're... really bad, look no further. If you're looking for an all-ages natural history documentary (or anything remotely resembling a documentary), coming-of-age drama or, let's just say it, a film of any merit whatsoever, begin your search elsewhere.

Magic Journey to Africa 3D Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Magic Journey to Africa features a serviceable, at-times satisfying 1080p/MVC-encoded video transfer and a flat, uneventful 3D experience. In other words, nothing to write home about. The searing African sun brightens and whitens everything it strikes, washing away color, skewing primaries and stripping the image of depth. Skintones are relatively lifelike, though, and the shade of 3D glasses certainly helps. Black levels are nice and dark as well, muted as shadows and night skies sometimes are, and detail, definition and texture clarity are quite good on the whole, all things considered. That said, a number of issues quickly become apparent. The 3D experience lacks pop and convincing dimensionality, and ghosting isn't entirely uncommon (on displays prone to crosstalk at least), and both the 3D and 2D presentation struggles with slight aliasing, contrast inconsistencies, intermittent noise, minor macroblocking, and occasionally disruptive color banding. Ultimately, it's all rather unremarkable and doesn't add much value to the release.

Magic Journey to Africa 3D Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Image Entertainment's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track is underwhelming as well. Dialogue is clean and intelligible for the most part, although there are more than a few prioritization mishaps, and effects are backed by decent low-end weight and presence. Unfortunately, the LFE channel leaves something to be desired, as do the rear speakers, which pitch in but exert little effort. The resulting soundfield eeks by on ambience alone, and there's little in the way of immersive properties or precise directional effects. All in all, it's adequate, but not much more.

Magic Journey to Africa 3D Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

The Blu-ray edition of Magic Journey to Africa includes two rather lengthy "Making Of" featurettes: one that follows the crew to South Africa (HD, 14 minutes) and the other to the Republic of Namibia (HD, 27 minutes).

Magic Journey to Africa 3D Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Magic Journey to Africa is a strange one. It isn't a documentary or a functional fairy tale, it isn't educational or entertaining, or really any good at all. It's a bizarre mishmash of childish daydreams and half-baked spirituality, and it's kid-friendly nature isn't enough to overcome its many, many issues. The mediocrity extends to the film's Blu-ray release, although not to such extremes. Its video presentation and 3D experience are serviceable but unremarkable, its DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track is underwhelming and its supplemental package doesn't offer enough to improve matters. Skip this one and spare your family an insufferable 49-minutes.