Kiss Me, Monster Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		4.5
Audio		4.5
Extras		5.0
Overall		4.5

Kiss Me, Monster Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf September 7, 2022

The Two Lips Detective Agency is back in 1969’s “Kiss Me Monster,” with the production picking up right where “Two Undercover Angels” left off. Director Jess Franco goes the back-to-back route to building a franchise, returning to Diane and Regina and their special way of conducting superspy activities, leading with their feminine charms. Once again, Franco isn’t here to make something cohesive, he just wants it done, basically throwing whatever he can at the screen, with the final act reserved for exposition concerning a plot that isn’t all that clear in the end. “Kiss Me Monster” has the obvious appeal of stars Janine Reynaud and Rosanna Yanni, who bring some bubbly fun and cheeky fierceness to their roles, but Franco is quick to disrupt any entertainment value, stumbling through a very Bond-ian tale of world domination and duplicitous characters.

Looking to take a break from the spy game, Diana (Janine Reynaud) and Regina (Rosanna Yanni) hope to relax in their apartment, but danger soon finds them when a dead body is found with special sheet music, containing clues to something brewing on the island of Abilene. Diana and Regina elect to investigate, working undercover as club entertainers to explore the area and its inhabitants, encountering additional murders along the way.

“Kiss Me Monster” is bizarre, but it really baffles during its introduction, where black and white footage of a car chase is worked into a color film. The pursuit has nothing to do with the story, but it’s here, which is a creative demand for Franco. Diana and Regina are soon reintroduced, with the latter still dreaming about stripping for Paul Newman, while the former is more of the lead character for the sequel, taking command of an investigation into the sheet music and the string of men who seek help from Two Lips, only to be killed by an unknown assassin.

The action moves to Abilene, a community teeming with men happy to see Diana and Regina, and there’s an active club scene. And we know this, because Franco elects to kill five minutes of screen time by filming dancers on the move, recycling footage from “Two Undercover Angels.” Padding is all over “Kiss Me Monster,” which is determined to maintain distance from the story for the opening 45 minutes, providing real-time activities and pointless dialogue instead. Things perk up when Diana and Regina become more active in their sleuthing, posing as dancers and, well, saxophone players, adding some visual activity to a movie where such excitement is limited.

Kiss Me, Monster Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation is listed as "newly restored in 4K" from a 35mm negative, and color definitely leads the way during the viewing experience. Dealing with bright period hues and deep primaries, costuming and decoration comes alive here. Skin tones are natural. Greenery is vivid. Detail captures clear facial particulars of full-body displays, also doing well with fibrous outfits, which often explore sheerness. Delineation is satisfactory. Grain is fine and film-like. A few points of damage are detected, along with light scratches.

Kiss Me, Monster Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 1.0 DTS-HD MA mix delivers distinct dubbed dialogue exchanges. Music supports as expected, offering a decent instrumentation with jazzy selections. Sound effects are blunt.

Kiss Me, Monster Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• "The Red Lips Diaries" (46:08, HD) is an interview with film historian Stephen Thrower, who explores Jess Franco's desire to shoot "Two Undercover Angels" and "Kiss Me Monster" back-to-back, offered a chance to update a forgotten 1960 effort, "Labios Rojos." Thrower gets a little sidetracked at times, trying to out-reference himself to assert dominance, but he delivers interesting information about the productions and the actors, and goes into detail about dubbing and editing issues he claims ruined Franco's intended moviemaking rhythm.

• "Besame Monstruo" (84:34) and "El Caso De Las Dos Bellezas" (92:26) are the original Spanish versions of "Kiss Me Monster" and "Two Undercover Angels," sourced "from tape with newly translated English subtitles."

• "The Case of the Red Lips" (13:59, SD) is a 2006 interview with director Jess Franco, who recalls his desire to work with Janine Reynaud, looking for a project to present to the actress. "Two Undercover Angels" and "Kiss Me Monster" were shot back-to-back, using the same sets, with Franco sharing his approval of the process. The interviewee goes into the comic strip inspiration for both pictures, and details his time with co-star Rosanna Yanni, sharing how she became good friends with Reynaud during the shoot. Franco was aiming for Abbott and Costello energy from the characters, and he offers some information about costuming. He closes with a rant about different titles for a few of his endeavors.

• "Jess' Tangents" (22:27, SD) gives Jess Franco room to discuss random topics, including "LSD and Porn," "Spain Under Franco," "The Orson Welles Collection," and "Cinema."

• Photo Gallery #1 (5:48) collects press kit pages, film stills, publicity shots, and BTS snaps for "Kiss Me Monster."

• Photo Gallery #2 (2:42) collects poster art, film stills, publicity shots, BTS snaps, and press kit pages for "Two Undercover Angels."

• And Trailers (SD) for "Kiss Me Monster" (2:58) and "Two Undercover Angels" (3:04) are included.

Kiss Me, Monster Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

A plot arrives in the last 30 minutes of "Kiss Me Monster," and it has something to do with a secret formula, a lesbian society, and windmills. It's a lot to process in a manner of minutes, and interest in the specifics of the situation is up to the viewer, as Franco doesn't push too hard to connect the dots here, working hard to diminish any jaunty vibe to the feature with a mild torture sequence and real surgical footage during an operation scene (why?). It feels like the production really wants "Kiss Me Monster" to be playful and clever, but Franco isn't a helmer capable of going above and beyond when it comes to mounting