Just Married Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		1.5
Video		3.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		2.5
Overall		3.0

Just Married Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf March 6, 2015

After scoring a minor hit with the kiddie comedy “Big Fat Liar,” director Shawn Levy wanted to graduate to the world of young adults. Despite his inability to stage a big screen joke, Levy gravitated toward “Just Married,” with the 2003 effort requiring a helmer capable of balancing slapstick and heart, spritzing the endeavor with a little acidic humor. “Just Married” is one of those comedies that should piece together easily enough, yet Levy has a way of making simple tasks seem impossible. Recruiting stars Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy, the director embarks on a dissection of thinning marital patience and European calamity, yet he somehow comes up spectacularly short of his goal, issuing a feature that’s almost completely devoid of laughs, charms, and warm fuzzies as the two leads scream punchlines at each other for 90 long minutes.

Arriving home from their honeymoon, Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and Sarah (Brittany Murphy) hate each other, finding their recently celebrated wedding already on the rocks after a disastrous adventure in Europe. Separating from his wife to figure out what went wrong, Tom reflects on the good times with Sarah, recalling their courtship period, where the Average Joe was introduced to her rich family and ex-boyfriend, Peter (Christian Kane), who still pines for the one that got away. Marriage soon enters the picture, with plans to visit France and Italy for their honeymoon. Unfortunately, everything goes askew once Tom and Sarah board their plane, commencing a trip that offers nothing but misfortune and misunderstanding, testing their vows to the fullest as Tom loses himself in fits of anger, while Sarah, shocked by her sexless celebration, is confronted by Peter, who’s flown to Europe to seduce her.

Instead of approaching the pairing of Tom and Sarah in a linear fashion, screenwriter Sam Harper opens with the aftermath, isolating boiling frustrations as the pair fails to avoid acts of sabotage at the airport, establishing their surprising venom toward each other. It’s a brisk way to commence the feature, hitting the viewer with immediate antagonism to jumpstart the comedy, but it’s a critical misstep in structure, revealing irritations before we’ve even met the couple, diluting the journey of accidents and stubbornness about to unfold. It’s a minor complaint, but a persistent one, especially when “Just Married” holds the potential to grow with time, snowballing into a farce of mishaps and misplaced anger as the couple stumbles around Europe.

Without any sense of surprise, “Just Married” quickly settles into a routine of uncomfortable encounters and calamity, watching Sarah and Tom build their union on lies and withheld information, including Peter’s quest, with the new bride well aware of the man’s intentions, even sharing a sexual history, but she refuses to explain herself to Tom, stimulating jealousies when the suave spoiler arrives in Italy to claim her. It’s a sitcom subplot, easily erased with a brief moment of true communication, but it’s cat nip to Levy, who loves to stage broad acts of anxiety born from silly misunderstandings.

Levy’s also fond of slapstick, and “Just Married” indulges him in full. Tom and Sarah aren’t even out of the plane before bruising mischief begins, with their attempt to join the mile-high club thwarted by tight quarters and an intrusive flight attendant. In France, the couple nearly destroys a castle hotel with the wrong electric plug, making room for an electrocution gag. And in Venice, the twosome is forced to spend the night in a dumpy hotel, crashing through crumbling walls and dealing with a cockroach infestation. Facial injuries are also a top priority for the production, with Tom and Sarah subjected to multiple head bonks, bloody noses, and flying objects, leaving much of “Just Married” to scenes of characters holding their face and head in pain.

Without teeth, “Just Married” plays painfully thin, depending on Kutcher and Murphy’s vocal volume and rubbery facial reactions to sell moldy comedy concepts. The actors aren’t built for this style of farce, often left alone to make magic happen. The screenplay is no help, keeping the European tour to two countries, missing potential for extended disaster in foreign lands. Instead, the story simply stops to tend to business with Peter and Tom’s experience with a bar floozy who won’t take no for an answer, leading to an asinine climax that involves the discovery of a red bra in Sarah’s prized honeymoon suite. Again, it’s confrontation easily solved with explanation, but that would rob Levy of his hackneyed break-up-to-make-up finale, already seeded in the opening of the movie.

Just Married Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Offering an AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation, "Just Married" looks mighty fatigued on Blu-ray. Obvious filtering is present on what appears to be an aged transfer, keeping the picture more video-like than filmic. Colors are present but look slightly muted, without the intended punch of primaries for such a simplistically shot effort, with skintones looking adequate. Blacks are periodically prone to crush, leaving a few evening excursions and low-lit sequences solidified, with only passable delineation. Fine detail isn't spectacular, with moderate examination of facial particulars and location. It's acceptable but hardly extraordinary. Print remains clean, without damage.

Just Married Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 5.1 DTS-HD MA sound mix is handled professionally enough, but doesn't retain a genuine personality to match screen antics. Dialogue exchanges are captured with clarity, preserving argumentative behavior and comedic volume without distortion. Soundtrack selections hold reasonable instrumentation, offering the most low-end of the track, while scoring efforts are supportive, emphasizing aggressive antics and romantic swells. Surrounds are primarily utilized to provide atmospherics, delivering room echo, expanding music cues, and outdoor distances, but rarely are they explored with any directional gusto.

Just Married Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary features director Shawn Levy, and actors Brittany Murphy and Ashton Kutcher.

• Deleted Scenes (7:42, SD) include a look at Tom and Sarah's wedding video, an apartment camping excursion during their courtship period, a bathtub confrontation between Tom and Father Robert (George Gaynes), and additional woo from Peter. They can be viewed with or without commentary by Levy.

• Making Of (3:39, SD) is a brief featurette that delivers basic information about the movie, using on-set interviews with Kutcher, Murphy, and Levy and plenty of film clips.

• "Reel Comedy: 'Just Married'" (20:56, SD) is a promotional piece created for Comedy Central, with host Mario Cantone spread out inside a honeymoon suite with Kutcher and Murphy, testing their knowledge of relationship habits with an extended quiz. Once again, film clips dominate the viewing experience.

• And a Theatrical Trailer (2:19, SD) is included.

Just Married Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Imagination is nonexistent here. "Just Married" would rather file through the obvious instead of trying the impossible, working to transform the concept of a dysfunctional pairing into a romantic ideal, looking for climatic swoon after making a convincing argument for permanent separation. It's a connect-the-dots fantasy film, and one easily salvaged with a few generous laughs that play up European disaster and relationship woe. Levy doesn't have the vision to pull it off, filling the production with clichés and artificial estrangements, while his handle on broad laughs would be more at home on Nickelodeon. "Just Married" was likely doomed from the start, but to watch a movie with some potential for encouraging insanity fall asleep at the first sign of cinematic exertion is absolutely dispiriting, joining a long list of wilted Levy efforts.