Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		4.0
Audio		3.5
Extras		4.0
Overall		4.0

Itsy Bitsy Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf October 1, 2019

With a title like “Itsy Bitsy,” there’s a promise made for a lighthearted killer spider picture. It suggests something cheeky is on the way, with co- writer/director Micah Gallo chasing the gleeful mischief of 1990’s “Arachnophobia,” or perhaps trying to match the B-movie release of 2013’s “Big Ass Spider.” Gallo is in no mood for laughs with his feature-length helming debut, presenting a more sobering take on arachnid hellraising, coming close to making the starring spider more of a supporting part in the effort, which focuses instead on the ravages of addiction, the struggle of parenthood, and the chest-caving grief of loss. “Itsy Bitsy” is a bad title for the endeavor, as it offers no joyful horror release, remaining closer to the pains of the wounded heart than matinee thrills, trying to be a gritty, aching take on eight-legged intimidation.

After suffering through the terrible loss of her youngest child, Kara (Elizabeth Roberts) is trying to rebuild her life, moving to a small town to act as a private nurse for antiquities dealer Walter (Bruce Davison), who’s in declining health after losing his wife long ago. Kara also has a major pill addiction, struggling to care for her daughter, Cambria (Chloe Perrin), and her older son, Jesse (Arman Darbo), who’s often put in charge of the household. A black egg is brought to Walter’s attention, containing evidence of an ancient legend concerning an arachnid threat. When the egg is accidentally broken, it unleashes a large spider, who’s on the prowl for victims, quickly taking over the uninhabited areas of the home. While Kara deals with her grief and lust for chemical escape, the spider begins to stalk the residents, with Walter trying to figure out the evil inside the egg, while Cambria and Jesse have personal encounters with the creature, soon fighting for their lives.

Gallo and the screenwriters clearly don’t want to make another “Arachnophobia.” The popcorn entertainment value of a spider on the loose has no appeal to the production, which tries to go deep with the characters, spending the first hour of the feature getting to understand their issues. Kara is the most troubled, unable to kick her reliance on pills to get through the day, taking the job with Walter to stock up on his unused OxyContin, planting her kids at home as she barely keeps it together -- an unraveling Sheriff Jane (Denise Crosby) recognizes, trying to connect to the jittery mother. There’s a reason for Kara’s deflation, having lost one of her children in a horrible car accident of her own making, leaving her flattened by regret and grief. But hey, this is a spider movie, right?

“Itsy Bitsy” isn’t a thrill machine. In fact, it barely does anything with the spider for the first two acts, keeping it a distant threat to anyone but a curious cat. The special effects are encouraging, as Gallo aims to offer as much of a practical feel as possible, losing the intimidation factor when he turns to cartoony CGI for fast movements and jumps. There are goopy events as well, from egg-laying to the actual bites, which generate big, bloody holes in the victims, delivering some much needed gore. Sadly, the major spider battle is saved for the finale, leaving most of “Itsy Bitsy” to scenes of tepid investigation, and there’s Walter’s function as the exposition machine in the script, keeping viewers educated on the ways of the killer creature’s violent history, dating back centuries. Storytelling aims to deliver a more rounded understanding of the participants, but there comes a time when a killer spider movie should become a killer spider movie, and Gallo waits far too long to unleash hell.

Also troubling about “Itsy Bitsy” is its reliance on child endangerment to summon scares and generate emotional wounds. Gallo fixates on the suffering of children for everything, with Kara’s kid brutally killed by her neglect, only to come back in visions to remind her of all she’s lost. Cambria is tossed around the attic and menaced by the spider. And when the screenplay gets around to explaining what evil is motivating the creature, it’s revealed that infant sacrifice is the battery that powers such horrors. So much for escapism. The heaviness of it all is absurd, but, again, Gallo wants his creature feature to be deep, which never works in his favor.

Itsy Bitsy Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (2.40:1 aspect ratio) presentation is fairly dark, encountering limited lighting to best preserve suspense and protect the spider effects. Delineation isn't always communicative, with a few dips into solidification during the viewing experience. Illuminated encounters brings out decent detail, surveying creased facial surfaces and spider visits, delivering a real sense of goopy particulars. House interiors are dimensional, with a clear view of decoration and age. Outdoor events are dimensional. Colors are distinct, with a full push of primaries, handling varied costuming and rural greenery. Skintones are natural.

Itsy Bitsy Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 5.1 DTS-HD MA sound mix maintains a full sense of aural engagement, with the film's driving score offering distinct instrumentation and low-end heaviness, supporting the more pressurized stretches of "Itsy Bitsy." Dialogue exchanges are sharp, securing expositional needs and more heated moments of survival. Surrounds offer some directional activity, with one error at the 53:00 mark (a center channel sigh emerges from the rear left channel). Atmospherics are compelling, grasping room tone and heavy weather. Sound effects deliver their intended crunches and squishes.

Itsy Bitsy Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary #1 features co-writer/director Micah Gallo.

• Commentary #2 features Gallo and co-writers Jason Alvino and Bryan Dick.

• "The Spider: The Beginnings" (2:53, HD) is a brief summary of the special effects work on "Itsy Bitsy," with creature creator Dan Rebert discussing his ambitions and achievements with the spider creation.

• "The Journey" (2:20, HD) returns to Gallo, who describes production intent and certain financial realities, also celebrating the crew effort and the demands of the intense schedule.

• "Denise On Set" (3:00, HD) highlights the effort from Denise Crosby, going into the creation of her character and her constant professionalism during the shoot.

• Kickstarter Mini-Featurettes (4:17, HD) highlighting Gallo's attempt to sell the specialness of "Itsy Bitsy" to potential contributors. Topics include technical challenges, casting, care with female characterizations, and story points.

• "The Most Spidery Spider" (3:07, HD) is a jokey BTS featurette detailing how Andy Dick brought the movie's creature to life through a hyper motion-capture performance. This is very silly stuff for a film that's completely humorless.

• Storyboard Gallery (30:44) provides a complete walkthrough of the film.

• And a Trailer #1 (2:15, HD) and Trailer #2 (1:20) are included.

Itsy Bitsy Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

In the win column is Garry Schyman and Frederik Weidmann's booming score, which provides just the right voltage to get chase sequences going, adding needed emphasis to the spider threat. Crosby steals most scenes she's in, offering a warm take on local law, trying to avoid cliché as much as possible, and Davison has his meatier moments as the other vet in the cast. "Itsy Bitsy" doesn't have much else to recommend, with a chaotic climax unable to cover for the lack of a suspenseful set-up. It's neat to see a spider scurrying around, causing all sorts of trouble for the characters, but Gallo doesn't commit in full, unwilling to deliver enough cinematic fury to balance out his admirable but ill-conceived attempt at nuanced characterization.