Rating summary

Movie		3.0
Video		3.0
Audio		3.5
Extras		0.0
Overall		2.5

History of the World in Two Hours 3D Blu-ray Movie Review

In the beginning the History Channel created the single-serve history-of-the-universe special...

Reviewed by Kenneth Brown May 16, 2012

Truth in advertising. Never mind the fact that without commercial breaks History of the World in Two Hours 3D clocks in at 88 minutes. Never mind the fact that its 3D presentation is little more than a marketing gimmick. Never mind the fact that a two-hour special couldn't hope to cover 13.7 billion years of chemical, thermodynamic, geological, biological and cultural history in one fell swoop. The History Channel's warp-speed overview of the origins and evolution of Earth is both a mildly engaging greatest hits reel and, if you have children, a fairly entertaining and educational introduction to the building blocks of life, the rise of man, and the development of the modern world. But is it true to its name? Read on...

It's important to remember just how small a slice of history we actually occupy. To make things simple, imagine compressing 14 billion years of history down to just 14 years. On this scale, the Earth would have existed only for the past five years. So that's about a third of the history of the universe. Large, complex creatures would have developed seven months ago. On this scale, dinosaurs went extinct only about three weeks ago. The entire recorded history of humans would span only the last three minutes. Modern industrial societies, the Industrial Revolution, effectively, six seconds ago. What this shows is that we humans have been around for only a brief instant in the recorded history of the universe.

From the Big Bang to the extinction of dinosaurs to the emergence of sprawling 21st century population centers, History of the World in Two Hours is -- surprise! -- more than a by-the-numbers synopsis of history. Though sporadic, writer/director Douglas Cohen's biography of the planet outlines the cause-and-effect connections between the cataclysms, evolutionary advances, empires, religions, innovations and technologies that gave birth to the modern world. It isn't a straight shot from primordial ooze to iPhones either. Hopping back and forth through time, Cohen presents history as a row of dominoes, billions upon billions of dominoes mind you, that fall, one after the other, and impact each other in unexpected ways. Who knew that something as simple as grass would change the future in such radical ways? That, had a global catastrophe not intervened, mammals would still be struggling to get a foothold in the natural world? That sugar would play such a crucial role in history? A few of you will be bored to tears, I'm sure. Tell me something I don't know, you'll bark at the screen. But I have a feeling most people, even those who fancy themselves history and science buffs, will marvel at some of the rapidfire tidbits and factoids Cohen has gathered together under one two-hour roof.

Unfortunately, contradictions abound. 88-minute time crunch notwithstanding, History of the World hurtles from era to era without pausing long enough to let any of it sink in, much less resonate. The fabric and composition of the Earth is mentioned, but just barely. The ramifications of the world's greatest extinction event are rattled off, but jettisoned soon thereafter. The geological history of the planet is presented, but in hastily assembled pieces, none of which are given adequate attention. Had the special been titled The History of Man in Two Hours, it would have lived up to its namesake. Cohen isn't exactly fascinated with the history of the planet itself, though, or even the manner in which it came to be. He's fascinated with humanity's humble origins and (rather recent) dominance over the natural world. Despite its faults, How the Earth Was Made at least stays on topic. History of the World is too enamored with man -- recall our recorded history represents just three minutes if placed on a scale in which the universe has existed for fourteen years -- and devotes far more time to the reign of humans than, by the special's own assertion, man even deserves.

And therein lies the problem. History of the World in Two Hours is all over the place, and the one thing it really focuses on -- human beings -- represents a mere blip on the map of history. Cohen tries to accomplish too much in too little time and fails to give anything its due. As an easily digestible fact track, it works. And, like me, you'll no doubt learn something in your 88-minute roller coaster ride through history. But context is king, and History of the World in Two Hours only cobbles together the slightest sense of context; enough to make Cohen's narrative coherent, but not enough to make it entirely cohesive. I can think of 13.7 billion worse ways to spend an hour-and-a-half of your life, and science and history junkies will, if nothing else, get a kick out of how much Cohen manages to cram into such a tight space. Alas, substance is sacrificed on the altar of style, meaning this one earns a pass and little more.

History of the World in Two Hours 3D Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

A&E's 1080p/MVC-encoded video presentation is serviceable, but several issues make it decidedly less magnificent than the birth of the planet. First and foremost, the 3D experience is inconsistent and riddled with anomalies. CG sequences exhibit welcome depth but interviews, archive footage, and historical reenactments are flat and uninvolving. Aliasing is a frequent offender as well, anomalies present in the 2D encode are only exacerbated in 3D, and viewers with crosstalk-prone 3D displays will notice quite a bit of obvious ghosting. The 2D presentation isn't perfect either. Compression artifacts disrupt the integrity of the image throughout, mild to severe banding haunts almost every CG sequence (in space, underwater, or on land), digital noise spikes on occasion, and aliasing makes yet another appearance (albeit to a lesser extent). It isn't a complete loss, of course. Colors are striking, contrast is bright and vibrant, black levels are nice and deep, and detail is good, even if the image isn't nearly as sharp or refined as other history-of-the-known-universe Blu-ray releases I've seen. Interview segments are decent (despite a prevailing softness), CG edges and textures are crisp and well-resolved, and overall clarity is fairly satisfying. Needless to say, History of the World in Two Hours 3D isn't going to win anyone over with the quality of its video presentation alone. It gets the job done, but that's about it.

History of the World in Two Hours 3D Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

A&E's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track is better, but it isn't going to blow anyone away. The rear speakers are active but rather subdued, only cranking up the chaos when the special launches into space or back to the beginnings of the universe. Since so much time is spent watching man come to power, though, the resulting soundfield isn't nearly as volatile, involving or enveloping as it might otherwise be. The same can be said of the LFE channel, which gets in a few good hits -- especially when dealing with the origins of the planet -- but plays it safe, offering support without any real standout moments. Fortunately, Corey Burton's narration is clean, clear and well-centered, interviews aren't plagued by air hiss or distracting noise, and voices rarely falter. Could History of the World in Two Hours use some extra oomph? Sure. But blame the special's straight forward sound design. A&E's lossless efforts are sound.

History of the World in Two Hours 3D Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

I suppose subtitles no longer count as special features. Oh, early days of DVD... I don't miss you in the least.

History of the World in Two Hours 3D Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

You'll learn quite a bit while watching History of the World in Two Hours 3D. Nothing you wouldn't pick up from an episode of Jeopardy or by channel surfing through the Discovery networks block, but quite a bit nonetheless. Sadly, a somewhat misleading title, a lack of focus and more complete context, a sometimes debilitating 88-minute time crunch, and a poor 3D presentation begs the question: why is this called History of the World in Two Hours 3D? The Blu-ray edition's average video, adequate DTS-HD Master Audio mix, and lack of extras doesn't exactly help matters, though, so approach with caution. Granted, I could think of far worse ways to spend fifteen dollars and eighty-eight minutes, but a rental is probably the wisest course of action.