Gamera vs. Zigra Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		0.5
Video		2.5
Audio		0.5
Extras		0.0
Overall		1.0

Gamera vs. Zigra Blu-ray Movie Review

"I'm not saying it was aliens...but it was aliens."

Reviewed by Martin Liebman August 8, 2014

'Gamera vs. Zigra' is currently only available as part of a four-film bundle.

Invasion! Aliens -- OK, a single alien, actually a pretty Japanese girl in an aerobics outfit who is supposed to pass for an alien -- have descended on Japan with the intent of inflicting a lot of damage by way of magnitude 13 earthquakes, using Earth's oceans for themselves, and taking over a Japanese branch of Sea World, or something along those lines. The movie is called Gamera vs. Zigra (it should have been called Gamera and Friends "Fight" the Evil Aliens and Their Pet Zigra Who Want to Take Over Sea World) so logic dictates, of course, that only Gamera -- friend of children everywhere -- can save the day. Will he succeed? Does the sun rise in the east? Is this a sloppy Blu-ray? Does Brawndo have what plants crave? Duh. OK, enough with the rhetorical questions. All kidding aside, the real magic of a Gamera movie isn't found in whether or not the giant turtle will save the day but instead in, uh, well, hmmm, maybe there is no magic after all. Too bad. Because rubber suits and miniatures and things like that are fun. Hey, Gamera, why come you don't have a tattoo? Sorry, that's not the whiskey doing the talking. That's bad movie-induced uncontrollable giddiness. Honest...

What's up G?

When the statue of liberty's hat, filled with delicious M&Ms® candies an alien spacecraft destroys somebody's model lunar base and toy rover Japan's very real lunar base and a very real surface rover, nobody cares panic ensues. Things take a turn for the worse when a Japanese supermodel aliens arrive on Earth and kidnap some random people (wait, strike that strike, they are random people) so they may serve as witnesses to the aliens' power when they unleash a massive earthquake on Japan (like the destruction and death toll wasn't enough of a message?). It turns out global warming war pollution HD-DVD insert random calamity here technological progress has turned their waters into slime, but when the humans make them watch Signs and they learn that Earth water is bad for them, they return to their home world and they plan on taking Earth's waters do with as they please. But first, they will have to duke it out with Godzilla Superman Tucker & Dale The Bobs Sharknado Gamera if they have any hope of success.

OK, really, enough with the frivolity already. Gamera vs. Zigra, yes, follows basic franchise procedure except it inexplicably cuts down in the monster-on-monster action in its first two-thirds, never really doing anything all that exciting with Gamera or his villain du jour. Instead, it mostly focuses on the humans' interactions with the aliens and the alien lady's pursuit of the human children who escape to tell the world about what's going on. The movie otherwise fails to differentiate itself from the previous series entries. It again relies on cheap miniatures, nicely designed but obviously fake rubber suits, slow combat, goofy looking alien sets, and basic special effects, like laser beams. The acting is generally unpolished but at least, and particularly from the children, enthusiastic. Yet that's not nearly enough to save an otherwise dragging, nearly wretched movie with no value aside from the comedy value of it all.

Gamera vs. Zigra Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Gamera vs. Zigra's 1080i high definition presentation is no great shakes, but it satisfies cheap movie requirements. Details satisfy on a very general level. Monster and miniature details are well defined and nicely tactile. Faces and clothes, likewise, reveal basic lines with relative ease. Colors aren't bold, but they aren't drained, either. Colorful laser beams and the multicolored spacecraft interior look nice enough. Black levels are fairly pale, but flesh tones don't struggle. Light blocking is evident in the background and subtitle transitions are prone to display combing artifacts, but otherwise the transfer proves serviceable for what amounts to about a ~$2.00 Blu-ray movie.

Gamera vs. Zigra Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Gamera vs. Zigra's Dolby Digital 2.0 soundtrack (in Japanese but encoded as English) sounds like it was played on a scratchy phonograph, recorded while underwater on a Fisher-Price tape recorder, ran through an answering machine, and played back into a microphone plugged into a recording source. In short, it sounds terrible. There's no range, zero clarity, and vey little volume even at reference level. It's muddy, poorly defined, lacking any sort of depth, and so on and so forth. Music is the worst offender, but action effects fare no better. Dialogue isn't quite so empty, but listeners won't mistake it for real life. In short, this is a miserable track and arguably the worst in the series, which is really saying something.

Gamera vs. Zigra Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Mill Creek Entertainment's Blu-ray release of Gamera vs. Zigra contains no supplemental content.

Gamera vs. Zigra Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Gamera vs. Zigra was one of several films from the series to make an appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and for good reason. In a series known for its mastery of the miserable, it's quite arguably the worst of the bunch. It features all the usual Gamera "flaws" and, as for sad as the monster-on-monster action usually is, the lack of it in the beginning and middle stretches actually makes the movie worse. Mill Creek Entertainment's Blu-ray release of Gamera vs. Zigra features passably dull video, terrible audio, and no supplements. Skip this and hunt down (read: search YouTube, or, better yet, click through above and order it from Amazon Instant Video) the MST3K version.