Freaks of Nature Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		1.5
Video		4.0
Audio		3.5
Extras		1.0
Overall		2.5

Freaks of Nature Blu-ray Movie Review

Freaky bad.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman February 12, 2016

Freaks of Nature just tries too hard. It desperately wants to fall into the sharp, hip, and cool collection of multi-genre Action/Comedy films -- it was originally titled The Kitchen Sink -- but it instead beats the audience over the head with a lousy script, monotonous pacing, and forgettable characters. It sounds good on the surface. There's a recipe for fun in the idea of humans, vampires, and zombies fighting against alien invaders, but the movie doesn't do anything with the idea except force terrible dialogue, repetitious drama, paper-thin supporting characters, and uncreative and replaceable leads into a movie that's mostly concerned with either overwhelming the frame with over-the-top bursts of blood and gore or lamely trying to sort out familiar teenage hormone gags and teenager movie sex jokes in the prism of interspecies friendships and relationships. It works in a few bursts here and there but never does get beyond that overpowering feel that it's simply forcing itself rather than allowing for a more organic cadence and comedy to come from a pretty nifty concept.

They're here! They're all here!

Freaks of Nature is about aliens that arrive on Earth, at the small Ohio town of Dillford, to be exact, in search of the secret sauce an entrepreneur (Dennis Leary) uses on his version of the McRib sandwich. The town is also notable for its total integration of humans, vampires, and zombies alike. They go to school together, date one another, and so on and so forth. The zombies even wear collars that, um, keep them under control? Will blow their heads off if they get out of line? Anyway, the story centers on three teenagers, the human Dag (Nicholas Braun), a baseball pitcher who has a big arm and a bigger family secret; another human named Petra (Mackenzie Davis) who is turned into a vampire when her supposed boyfriend bites her rather than beds her; and the nerdy, straight-A human student Ned (Josh Fadem) who decides life as a human isn't all that much fun after all and has himself turned into a zombie. When the aliens arrive, the three band together to save their town, which includes disrobing because apparently the aliens are blind to organic material. Too bad they didn't crash their ship into the forrest or ocean or something and spare everyone the mess they make.

Freaks of Nature goes overboard with lame comedy and cringe-worthy dialogue that sucks the life out of the movie's failed attempts at creating character drama, but it does hint at some interesting concepts that get lost in the shuffle. Ideas on integration and the can't we all just get along? mantra and man's tendency to get all bent out of shape when crisis strikes and routines are upset play central to the story, but the movie doesn't do anything with them, other than use them as vehicles to saturate the screen with blood, push lame gags, and find an outlet for cringe-worthy character drama that usually, in some for or fashion, revolves around sex and hormones. Other movies have tackled those issues, and Freaks of Nature scrapes the proverbial bottom of the proverbial barrel in an effort to get something new without realizing that there's good reason why what it uses are the sad leftovers of far better movies that have already cherry picked the better story lines, character details, and gags. The movie is rarely funny and it never has anything profound to say beyond the façade. It's happy to just be a messed-up mash-up that should have been edited to half its runtime and then, maybe, it could have worked as fun, quirkily little diversion rather than the latest try-hard flop.

Highlights are few and grossly underutilized. The movie's best scene comes early when a high school teacher named Mr. Keller (Keegan-Michael Key) goes on a serious rant in the teacher's lounge, bemoaning the lack of blood in the pot and the absence of donuts in the box. He then proceeds to berate Ned for demanding his grade be changed from an "F" on an essay. It's hilarious stuff, and it's no surprise that the Key & Peele veteran is the only actor who manages to run with a small part and turn it into a memorable sequence. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of the other, bigger names in the movie. Dennis Leary is OK, but his character is so devoid of creativity -- he's the big bad entrepreneurial capitalist pig -- that even is proclivity for nailing a part like this is negated by the script's failure to find any creativity. Ditto Bob Odenkirk and, to a lesser extent, Patton Oswalt, the latter of whom is in the movie far too briefly. Watch for Chris Zylka to channel his best inner (and outer) Seann William Scott. Also on the plus side, the film boasts some quality practical gore effects and decent enough alien visuals. Though the visitors aren't all that visually creative and make a lame transition near film's end, the special effects aren't half bad.

Freaks of Nature Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Freaks of Nature features a typically proficient 1080p transfer. The digital source photography yields strong clarity, detailing, and color. Definition is sharp around the frame, whether bathed in bright light or fighting for attention in the movie's many darker nighttime segments. Raw, up-close detail is always impressive. Clothing textures reveal fine fabric and seam details, faces show fine lines and blemishes, zombie makeup complexities are easy to see, and pale vampire skin, accentuated by veiny blue lines, showcase the finer makeup textures. Secondary and background details are also impressive. For instance, rough and worn school lockers are home to some interesting dings, dents, scratches, sticker residue, and other mystery details. Colors are saturated and full. The palette springs to life with bright red blood frequently dominating, but clothing hues and various background shades are lively. Black levels hold deep and accurate in the movie's many nighttime exteriors and poorly lit interiors. Flesh tones vary wildly from pale vampires to green-tintend zombies, but each appears true to intent. Minor noise and banding appear at times, but the image is otherwise technically proficient.

Freaks of Nature Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Freaks of Nature's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 lossless soundtrack features some positive detail in its chaos but doesn't often reach a pinnacle of sonic mayhem and full-on immersion. The opening music is more mush than it is energetic. It's jumbled together with moaning, screaming, and general chaos. Lyrics are lost under the madness and instrumentals, all of which just gets stirred up into a rush of sound. Things tighten up well enough later on. While a few gun blasts don't really hit very hard, the track does what it can to spread the love and surround the listener in action madness. Zombie moans, sounds of battle, and basic chaos are all well integrated, whether happening nearby or heard at some distance. Rain evenly saturates the listening area later in the movie. Dialogue naturally reverberates around the school gym at the 30 minute mark, and more zombie moans at a large undead gathering minutes later likewise fills the stage. General dialogue is well prioritized, center focused, and precisely defined.

Freaks of Nature Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Freaks of Nature contains an alternate opening, two deleted scenes, and a gag reel. A voucher for a UV digital copy is included with purchase.

• Alternate Opening (1080p, 2:37).
• Gag Reel (1080p, 3:40).
• Deleted Scenes (1080p): You'll Be Making Me Happy (0:57) and I'm a Dog Boy (3:02).
• Previews (1080p): Additional Sony titles.

Freaks of Nature Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Freaks of Nature looks good on paper. On film (or digital, really), not so much. A few good moments are negated by a painfully bad script that results in terribly defined and generic characters, empty drama, recycled laughs, and awful pacing. Sony's Blu-ray unsurprisingly skimps out on special features. Video and audio are fine. Skip it.