Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		4.0
Audio		3.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		3.5

Dracula Sucks Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf October 28, 2018

I’m sure if author Bram Stoker was made aware of what the future held for his 1897 novel, “Dracula,” he would be delighted. There have been movies, T.V. shows, comic books, video games, and entire state fair midway rides devoted to his creation, keeping the brand name going for over a century of horror escapism. Perhaps less appealing to Stoker would be the creation of 1979’s “Dracula Sucks,” the adult film industry’s take on the novel, which transports the gothic, nightmarish tale from Transylvania to the dry, sunny surroundings of rural California, adding bits of comedy and blindfolded editing to summon another take on Stoker’s vision of terror and seduction.

“Dracula Sucks” requires a basic understanding of Stoker’s tale, as the adaptation presented by numerous writers is all over the place, trying to remain faithful to the core relationships that make up the push and pull of the tale, while going off on more than a few tangents with supporting characters who add nothing to the narrative drive. Granted, it’s an adult movie, but director Philip Marshak is really trying to whip up an unusual viewing experience with “Dracula Sucks,” accentuating the titular evil’s (played by Jamie Gillis) path of seduction and manipulation, bringing madness to a desert sanitarium run by Dr. Seward (John Leslie). There’s Mina (Annette Haven), Harker (Paul Thomas), Lucy (Serena), and Renfield (Richard Bulk), but there’s also ample time spent with Dr. Stoker (John Holmes), who factors into the spread of vampirism simply for sexual purposes, as Holmes is one of the few actors permitted to engage in traditional carnal activity. Marshak doesn’t seem all that interested in providing adult stimulation, especially when there are rubber bats to swing around the frame.

A largely sexless “Dracula Sucks” isn’t ideal. Flashes of more fetishistic behavior promise something weirder, finding Dracula’s first encounter with Lucy involving a golden shower, but, oddly, the production doesn’t pursue anything outrageous for very long. Instead, the endeavor is stuck in neutral for most of its run time, dealing with tepid characters and a few bad performances (Leslie has trouble remembering his lines), while the plot doesn’t gel into anything monstrous, losing the war with coherence as confrontations fizzle out and motivations are replaced with repetitive interactions.

Dracula Sucks Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation emerges with some pronounced roughness, finding wear and tear a common event during the viewing experience. Reel changes are jumpy, encountering source damage and repair. Judder is common throughout. Detail generally goes as far as the original cinematography allows, battling focus issues to bring out decent bodily textures, keeping close-ups rich with facial scarring and make-up efforts. Costumes also maintain fibrous appeal, examining capes and assorted period wear. Colors are satisfactory, giving the semi-gothic mood some flavor with darker hues from clothing and set decoration. Bloodshed keeps its redness. Delineation is acceptable. Grain is heavy but filmic.

Dracula Sucks Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 1.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix also wrestles with age and damage, with a faint but noticeable buzzing noise detected throughout the picture. Dialogue exchanges are adequate, securing performances and their strange emphasis, also preserving thick accents. Definition isn't ideal, but intelligibility isn't threatened. Scoring efforts are equal, delivering intended accompaniment without breaking through with precision. Cartoonish atmospherics are easy to follow.

Dracula Sucks Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

There is no supplementary material on this disc.

Dracula Sucks Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Dracula Sucks" has a handful of moments that clarify what Marshak intended to do with the endeavor, aiming to conjure a dark mood with Dracula's wrath and wicked influence, and detours into random couplings (including Seward's brief romp with his sister, played by Kay Parker) try to satisfy adult movie fans. However, for every passably compelling moment of lustfulness, there's a clunker, with the material delving into light racism with butler Jarvis (David Lee Bynum), making his bulging-eyed reaction to the creatures of the night a bad idea. Again, it's hard to be upset with ambitious X- rated entertainment, but there are distinct scenes in "Dracula Sucks" where it's obvious Marshak is completely lost, struggling to summon genre thunder without a game plan to turn Bram Stoker into a pornographic sensation.