Rating summary

Movie		1.5
Video		3.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		0.5
Overall		1.5

Crazy on the Outside Blu-ray Movie Review

Empty on the Inside

Reviewed by Casey Broadwater April 23, 2010

Tim “the Tool Man Taylor” Allen knows a thing or two about life in the clink. Back in ’78, he was arrested for possession of nearly one and a half pounds of cocaine and served a 28-month sentence in a federal correctional institute in Minnesota. The man’s had his share of hard knocks, and though I never expected much from Crazy on the Outside—Allen’s directorial debut about a parolee trying to get back on his feet—I had at least hoped it would be a semi- autobiographical tale showing a different side to the comedian’s usual grunt ‘n’ gripe persona. It’s not. And it’s bad. Penned by John Peaslee and Judd Pillot—two longtime sit-com scribes— Crazy on the Outside is a schizophrenic, self-conflicted, would-be comedy that’s all miss and no hit. It’s easily the most tedious film I’ve had the displeasure of sitting through thus far this year, and I’m not alone in my bleary-eyed stupor—a quick glance at film review aggregator sites confirms that this Tim Allen-led mishap has received universally poor ratings.

Tim Allen upon being told that his film holds a 0% rating on rottentomatoes.com's tomato-meter.

After serving a short stint in the pen for video piracy—“I gave up fresh fruits and vegetables for three years so people in China could enjoy Lars and the Real Girl”—parolee Tommy Zelda (Allen, who else?) moves in with his overprotective sister Vicky (Sigourney Weaver) and the rest of the kooky family, including their deluded mom (Kate Clarke), who thinks Tommy spent the last few years in France, and Vicky’s smugly dismissive husband, played by J.K. Simmons in yet another “dad” role. (See Juno, Post Grad, etc.) Tommy wants to play it straight on the outside and re-open his dead dad’s house painting business, but he’s pulled in multiple directions. On one side, there’s Gray (Ray Liotta), Tommy former boss, a sleazy weasel who makes so much bank off his pirated DVDs that he gives sports cars to his ex-girlfriends as “consolation prizes.” On the other is Tommy’s old flame Christie (Julie Bowen), who wants to rekindle their relationship, even though she’s engaged to a local big-shot businessman (Kelsey Grammer) who sells big, big screen TVs to mask his sexual inferiority complex. (Oh, and while Tommy was in prison, Vicky told him that Christie had died in a horrible accident.) Complicating matters further, Tommy’s parole office, Angela Papadopolous (Big Love’s Jeanne Tripplehorn), gets him a job at Pirate Burger. Get it? He was a video pirate, so…I think it’s supposed to be funny. Maybe. Or not.

Anyway, Angela has a pre-teen son in desperate need of a father figure, and guess what? The paint job in her apartment is atrocious. Let’s see. Who in the film wants to start a paint business again? Oh, yeah. I see what they did there. Whaddaya wanna bet that Tommy will sneak into her apartment and doll it up real nice—she’ll be pissed at first, but then she’ll see what a good man he is—and then the two will fall inexorably in love? It’s not that simple of course. The inane plotting finds ways to push these two together, pull them apart, and then push them back together again as Tommy succumbs to the temptation of his old, high-paying piracy gig, has an ill-advised sex marathon with Christie—tastefully off-screen, though we see a Devil bobblehead nodding rhythmically over their animals noises—and finally redeems himself in the last act. (Not a sex act, the last reel of the film.) You typically think of Tim Allen comedy as rough around the edges, man’s man stuff, but Crazy on the Outside is just plain tonally weird. There’s all this physical humor—pratfalls and horseplay—mixed with really lame, really broad verbal comedy, all doled out inconsistently in a predictable, sentimental story about the “measure of a man.” Or, whatever. Allen’s direction is artless. He’s not entirely incompetent calling the shots, but you get the feeling he had no clear vision for what the outcome was supposed to look or feel like.

I wince for the collective cast. Tipplehorn is typecast as “mom” just as much as J.K. Simmons is as “dad,” and though she’s good at what she does, it’s painful to see her trying to finagle a serious performance out of such laughably bad material. Sigourney Weaver is conspicuously off, and Kelsey Grammer—what’s he even doing in this? The only actor looking remotely at home is Ray Liotta, and that’s just because he’s playing a character he’s basically played a hundred times. There’s really nothing worse than a purported comedy that thinks it can “touch hearts” and “tickle the funny bone” in equal measures. I laughed once during Crazy on the Outside. Tommy and his crew of misfit painters—rejects from Pirate Burger—are working in the house of an affluent judge. The judge’s wife comes home and accidentally frightens one of the workers— played by Napoleon Dynamite’s Jon Gries, a.k.a. Uncle Rico. Gries drops the f-bomb and then quickly apologizes, “Sorry about the language ma’am, but you scared the shit right out of my ass.” I know, it’s not even that funny, but the delivery works. Kind of. I mean, I chuckled a bit. Not a guffaw or anything, more like a low “hmmph.” But that was it.

Crazy on the Outside Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Not that it redeems the film in any way, shape, or form—Crazy on the Outside is beyond redemption—but this release's 1080p/AVC-encoded transfer, framed in a 1.85:1 aspect ratio, looks quite nice. As you'd expect from a contemporary film, the print is pristine, the grain structure is thin, natural, and inviting—Fox has been great lately about not digitally scrubbing their pictures to smithereens—and the film fits tidily on a 25 GB disc with no apparent compression-related traumas. The image isn't the sharpest you'll see this year, but it does boast a fair amount of fine detail, easily rendering skin and clothing textures in close-up and retaining a tight look even at a distance. Only the few scattered aerial shots take a hit in clarity. As for color, Crazy on the Outside is a bit dim at times but pleasantly saturated, with blues popping vibrantly—see Sigourney Weaver's cardigan, for instance—and skin tones that are warm and consistent. Though there is some detail- obscuring crush during the darker scenes, contrast is otherwise balanced, with tempered highlights and deep blacks. Overall, the visuals are better than you might expect, and certainly better than the film requires or, ahem, deserves.

Crazy on the Outside Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Comedies aren't typically known for room-rattling, gut-shaking soundtracks or 360-degree wall-of- sound immersion, and Crazy on the Outside is no exception, coming to Blu-ray with a DTS- HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track that's front-heavy and bland, but still clean, well-balanced, and more than up for whatever sonic task the film needs done. The rear channels are sparingly used. David Newman's dippy score—alternately "whimsical" and "heart-touching"—is bled into the surrounds, but other than that, you'll only hear some quiet ambience and the rare cross-channel effect; so rare, in fact, that when you eventually do hear one it's almost jarring. I was going to say that it "takes you out of the experience of watching the film," but on second thought, there's really no "experience" to disrupt. Bass is a little on the weak side, unsurprisingly, but otherwise the track is dynamically solid, with plenty of clarity and no audio hiccups, mufflings, or dropouts. Throughout, dialogue is clear and perfectly prioritized. English SDH and Spanish subtitles are available in easy-to- read white lettering.

Crazy on the Outside Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Inside Crazy on the Outside (1080p, 2:14)
Yes, the film's behind-the-scenes documentary runs a mere 2 minutes, which is 2 minutes more than I needed. A brisk clip of on-set footage and talking heads.

Gag Reel (1080p, 4:57)
Your typical sequence of slip-ups, far funnier than anything seen in the film.

DVD/Digital Copy

Crazy on the Outside Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Like a parolee escorted out of the prison gates with no one waiting for him on the other side, 20th Century Fox has quietly released this Tim Allen dud on Blu-ray as a timed Target exclusive. Crazy on the Outside will almost certainly earn a top spot on many critics' worst-of-2010 lists, and I have a feeling it will languish on store shelves and warehouse pallets, unwatched and unremembered, before landing in the bargain bin or landfill. Usually, I'd attach a caveat here saying something like, "If you're a diehard Tim Allen fan, you might squeeze a few ounces of enjoyment out of the film," but I don't think I can bring myself to recommend Crazy on the Outside to anyone.