Clash of the Empires Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		0.5
Video		4.5
Audio		4.0
Extras		2.0
Overall		2.0

Clash of the Empires Blu-ray Movie Review

Unwatchable by any name.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman January 1, 2013

Another knockoff, another lawsuit for The Asylum. Just a few months ago the infamous "mock buster" studio was forced into changing the name of its Battleship ripoff, and again the courts have sided with Hollywood's big boys in action taken against Age of the Hobbits, now released under the banner of Clash of the Empires (this review covers the film as released with its original title). Better for the courts to decide such issues, but one must wonder how a judge could watch this film and wonder what has Warner so hot and bothered. Clash of the Empires is trash by any name, a woeful, implausibly awful film that displays less character, quality, and purpose in its entirety than does one digital pixel in any of Peter Jackson's Hobbit-populated pictures. Forget the title; Warner should have sued on the grounds of public decency laws.

Trash by any name is still trash.

The plot: a group of people -- hobbits? -- is attacked by evil "Rock Men" who snarl and see fit to enslave and sacrifice the "hobbits" they take. One family becomes broken when mother is taken. Father, son, and daughter go in pursuit, following the trail of mystical rocks mother has clandestinely left behind. Unfortunately, the "hobbits" must travel through the lands of the giants to reach mother. They're afraid of the giants, too, but are fortunate to meet Anthar (Christopher Judge), a kindly but strong giant who aids the "hobbits" on their journey.

Most viewers who dare watch will sit in astonishment at how awful a movie can be. It's as if a group of good-natured and well-meaning amateurs gained access to both a high-end digital camera and some beautiful, empty terrain and made a movie. Never mind quality of script, real emotion, or worthwhile action. This movie has none of that, and at under ninety minutes drags as bad as just about any movie out there. The digital effects are passable for a movie of this caliber, and the filming locations are pretty, but that's pretty much all that could be said of it from a positive perspective. Most of the actors, who seem to have been chosen because they fit a profile and not because they can perform the roles well, have their dialogue dubbed over, which is often garbled and sometimes borderline unintelligible. In summation, a terrible experience that will leave viewers depressed for the time lost but probably not disappointed if they have any familiarity with The Asylum's track record.

Clash of the Empires Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Clash of the Empires generally looks great on Blu-ray. The transfer offers brilliant and balanced colors, superb details, and faultless sharpness and clarity. A bit of banding across bright skies drags the score down, but overall this is a fine high definition image.

Clash of the Empires Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Clash of the Empires' DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 lossless soundtrack offers strong clarity and a wide, natural presence. Dialogue can be garbled thanks to the dubbing efforts rather than the soundtrack's quality. Bass is heavy but a little crunchy. Some heavier sound effects -- flying beasts -- lack pinpoint clarity. Music is pure and well-spaced, and the surround channels carry a fair bit of the action.

Clash of the Empires Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Clash of the Empires contains an audio commentary track with Director Joseph J. Lawson, Editor Rob Pallatina, and Actor Christopher Judge. Also included is a making-of featurette (HD, 8:57), a gag reel (HD, 3:04), and four deleted scenes (HD, various runtimes).

Clash of the Empires Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Clash of the Empires does have a plot. That's more than can be said for some Asylum pictures. Yet a plot doesn't make it worthwhile. This is a miserable film that will leave viewers stupefied, feeling bad for the cast, and lamenting the time lost watching. The Blu-ray does offer great video, very good audio, and a few extras. Skip it, unless bad movie night calls for something extraordinarily awful.