Champagne and Bullets Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		4.0
Video		4.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		4.0
Overall		4.0

Champagne and Bullets Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf May 28, 2021

The title “Champagne and Bullets” doesn’t make much sense. The movie includes the consumption of champagne, but very few bullets are fired, though a character orders “bullets” at a bar, which may be a reference to specialized drink. Who knows? One would hope writer/star/co-director John De Hart would, but he’s got bigger fish to fry as the mastermind of this crazy picture, which shows almost no sense of leadership or forethought. De Hart oversees one of the great make-em-ups of the 1990s with “Champagne and Bullets,” building himself a vanity film that celebrates his songwriting, singing, acting, and sexuality, planning to transform himself into a screen icon with the endeavor, which is as clumsy and misbegotten as can be. Make no mistake, this thing is awful, but one doesn’t come to the feature with hopes for directorial finesse. Amusement with a “Birdemic”- style ride is the desired result, and the effort delivers plenty of that.

A member of the L.A.P.D., Rick (John De Hart) is joined by pal Huck (Wings Hauser) and Normad (William Smith) as the trio raid a trailer setting up a cocaine sale. The bust goes bad, resulting in a legal case where Normad turns on his fellow officers, forcing Huck and Rick off the force. As time passes, Huck becomes depressed, broke, and an alcoholic, battling his ex-wife, Alex (Lisa Boyle), over money. Rick finds jobs and reunites with his ex-girlfriend, Cindy (Pamela Jean Bryant), who disappeared for a stretch, but returns with new passion for her former lover. As they work on their relationship, Cindy reveals trauma from her past, exposing Normad as the leader of a Satanic cult, with its members eager to find and silence her before she shares too much.

Where does one even begin with this movie? De Hart (joined by James Paradise behind the camera) only offers the vague shape of a revenge story, pitting Normad and his practiced authority and years with a badge against Huck and Rick, two cops who made the mistake of trusting their superior(?). The rest of “Champagne and Bullets” remains far from any action, instead exploring the psychological ruin and redemption of the characters, with Huck going insane during his divorce, literally shooting his overdue bills while living with Sam, his prized, life-sized Native American doll. He’s a mess with suicidal tendencies, and he’s a terrible drunk, offering the actor what no director should ever provide Wings Hauser: room to improvise.

Huck’s ramblings are insufferable, but hey, at least Rick is doing better, with the older man becoming a driver after being a cop, dealing with rowdy prom attendees in the opening act of the movie, and he soon hits the stage. De Hart gives himself a performance sequence in an establishment that’s initially presented as a cowboy bar (with awkward line dancing) before it suddenly becomes a strip club, adding to the copious amounts of nudity presented in the picture. Rick and Cindy rekindle their romance, which involves multiple scenes of De Hart pawing and licking Bryant (good lord), only to break up the heat so the young woman can suddenly reveal that Normad is a cult leader who once sacrificed an infant for Satan’s glory. Normally, the murder of a baby is an immediate deal-breaker for most films of this type, but “Champagne and Bullets” is so inept, any mean- spiritedness is bypassed, and this includes a late-inning gang rape sequence that’s weirdly similar to the one found in “Showgirls.” Again, very ugly, but De Hart has no clue what he’s doing with this movie (this includes not understanding what a flashback is), and it’s almost amusing to see him dabble in hardcore violence as he follows exploitation formula.

Champagne and Bullets Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

While most fans of "GetEven" and "Road to Ruin" have only seen the pictures on videotape, Vinegar Syndrome offers a different viewing experience for Blu-ray, with the AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation sourced from the 16mm original camera negative. Presented here is a profoundly grainy showcase of the production's limitations, with detail reaching as far as the cinematography allows. A softer sense of skin particulars is found, along with bar and household interiors. Exteriors are a good as possible. Colors are boosted appealingly, with period hues bright, offering lively primaries on costuming. Bar decoration and lighting is also varied, and skintones are natural. Delineation works with darker costuming and limited lighting, preserving frame information. Source is in decent condition, with light scratches and wear and tear throughout.

Champagne and Bullets Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

A proper mix was never in the cards for "Champagne and Bullets," as technical and budgetary limitations are too common, making the 2.0 DTS-HD MA track work hard to find stability. Vinegar Syndrome does what they can with De Hart's oddball choices, including only periodic usage of sound effects to support fight scenes. Dialogue exchanges are passable, fighting intermittent muddiness and general sound mistakes, but performances are appreciable. Scoring is as basic as can be with a light keyboard presence, and soundtrack selections are bit more pronounced.

Champagne and Bullets Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary features writer/co-director/star John De Hart.

• Audio Interview (25:25) with John De Hart is perhaps an expectedly self-aggrandizing chat with the mastermind behind "Champagne and Bullets," referred to here as "the biggest little movie ever." De Hart claimed just about every job on the production, trying to transform his interest in stage performance into a film career, placing himself in the "top ten of living actors." He wanted to make an action extravaganza, and De Hart details casting choices, offering praise for Wings Hauser and William Smith, and he explores the mood of the shoot, with a few tense moments encountered with the cast. Music is examined, with songs from De Hart celebrated, including a country tune he's especially proud of. Distribution woes are recounted, finding most of the fanbase for "Champagne and Bullets" created through piracy. Re-edits were constructed to avoid censorship demands, with "Road to Ruin" the "Disney" version of the picture, while "GetEven" is the most popular version of the feature. De Hart is definitely proud of his creation, reminding listeners how prescient the production was, dealing with domestic abuse (he keeps bringing up O.J. Simpson, but I have no idea what he's getting at) and corrupt law enforcement issues.

• "Road to Revenge" (74:57, SD) is the first reworking of "Champagne and Bullets," sourced from a tape.

• "GetEven" (89:30, SD) is the second reworking of "Champagne and Bullets," sourced from a tape.

• And a Video Trailer (1:14, SD) for "GetEven" is included.

Champagne and Bullets Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"Champagne and Bullets" has no sense of pace or performance, with most of the actors just doing whatever they want (at one point, an actress cracks up while watching Hauser go bananas). De Hart uses the run time to explore his own kinks, stopping the movie to include a spanking session (for real), and he's certainly assured of his own talents, gifting himself a chance to perform a Shakespearian monologue, and he eventually goes the Rambo-route in the finale, showcasing his physical might. "Champagne and Bullets" is lunacy when it isn't incredibly boring and indulgent, quickly ascending to Bad Movie Night heaven for viewers who embrace productions where nobody really knows what they're doing, but they're committed to doing it.