Rating summary

Movie		3.0
Video		3.5
Audio		4.0
Extras		0.0
Overall		3.0

Bulletproof Monk Blu-ray Movie Review

You've seen it before and most likely better. 'Bulletproof Monk' is agreeable all right, but is that enough?

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman December 23, 2009

You probably know the old stereotypical joke about the Chinese restaurant, where your waiter offers you “one from column A, one from column B,” and so on. You probably also know the oft-repeated adage about being hungry again after an hour even after consuming a large meal at said establishment. Both of these dicta apply in allegorical terms to Bulletproof Monk, an amiable enough romp through Chop-Socky land that nonetheless is hobbled by being so obviously culled from so many predecessors it’s hard to keep track of at times. As in most casseroles, there’s no real nourishment here, with by the numbers characters and plot developments, and a surprisingly anemic assortment of action set pieces, at least for a film of this heritage, and especially one co-produced by the inestimable John Woo.

Bulletproof Monk follows the adventure of a nameless Monk (Chow Yun-Fat), whose story begins in 1943 in Tibet. The Monk is entrusted with the priceless treasure of a mystical scroll which, of course, bestows unearthly powers to anyone who possesses it. Need I tell you the Nazis are in pursuit, and in probably the best overall action sequence of the film, we get off to a literal bang with the Monk first in training in an exciting sequence and then move on to him and his cohorts fighting off the invading German hoard. The Scroll, aside from offering untold power, also bestows perpetual youth on its holder, and so when the Monk is chosen to keep it safe from those with nefarious motives, he stays his same youthful self some 60 years later, when he shows up in New York City and quickly befriends a wisecracking street hustler named Kar (Seann William Scott). Kar is tangentially involved with an auburn haired bombshell known as Bad Girl (Jaime King) who it turns out is the daughter of an imprisoned Russian mobster. And just for good measure the evil Nazi (Karel Roden) who tried and failed to obtain the Scroll in the 40’s reappears to wreak havoc once again more than half a century later.

Chow Yun-Fat and Seann William Scott

With a plot like that, do logic and sense, not to mention rational character motivation and the oft-maligned character arc, have any place at all? In a screenplay that is both overly convoluted and also at times depressingly rote, the answer is, of course, no. What typically saves these kinds of films are the no holds barred action sequences, but Bulletproof Monk sort of lumbers along in its admittedly affable style, with occasional hommages to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in its really kind of lackluster wire work, or in more CGI-laden moments that seem ripped out of some little know Asian version of The Matrix.

What ultimately serves as a saving grace or two here is a self deprecating humor which infuses a lot of the film, and the undeniable charm and charisma of the lead trio. Chow Yun-Fat and Seann William Scott play off of each other extremely well, in a sort of martial arts Lethal Weapon bantering style. If you can ignore the often ridiculous dialogue, the two men at least attempt to bring a little life to the listless proceedings and seem at least to enjoy each other’s company. King is a knockout and graceful performer, though she, like the two men, is saddled with such hopeless dialogue that most viewers are going to want to scream more than once at the idiocy being spouted by actors who are obviously much more intelligent than the lines they’ve been given.

Chow Yun-Fat’s own star turn in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon helped put the traditional martial arts fest on the cinematic map more strongly than at any time since the Bruce Lee era. Perhaps unfortunately, that film’s grace and artfulness also raised the bar significantly higher in terms of audience expectations, both in terms of stunt work and, perhaps more surprisingly, in terms of literary expectations for a film’s script quality. The good-natured aspect of Bulletproof Monk only goes so far in dispelling a plot that is so full of holes not even magical wire work can save it. This is such a haphazard amalgamation of ideas and half boiled plot points that it’s almost pointless to dissect them with any meaningful critical analysis. When, for example, the evil Nazi’s hideous mind reading machine comes into play late in the film, one is left to wonder why it apparently involves heated water being injected into the hapless monks’ heads. I’d make a joke about brainwashing but that might imply more comedic intention than the film ever really displays in and of itself.

If your viewing ambitions are relatively slight and you want a frankly mindless hour and a half entertainment with appealing and attractive stars and at least fitfully engaging actions sequences, I guess you could do quite a bit worse than Bulletproof Monk. But have we sunk so low to accept something this lackluster? There are so many fun and finely crafted martial arts epics available now on Blu-ray that it seems a waste of your high-def dollar to spend it on something that isn’t going to deliver in spades. There’s only so far a good attitude will take you, as any Tibetan monk worth his salt will aver. You need a little magic and maybe even some divine intervention to really make an impact. Those are two things that apparently fell of the cliff in the opening sequence of Bulletproof Monk and not even Chow Yun-Fat’s extraordinary powers of observation can’t find them over the subsequent 90 minutes.

Bulletproof Monk Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Released relatively early in the Blu-ray era, Bulletproof Monk sports the now ancient MPEG-2 codec, but doesn't suffer quite so much as you might expect. This is nowhere near a reference quality Blu-ray by any standard, and in fact only slightly raises the bar from the SD-DVD, but it does offer some decently upgraded clarity and saturation, at least in the brightly lit sequences. Unfortunately, a lot of this film plays out in darkened environments, and contrast is pumped to the point that grain can become bothersome. There's also a very strange inconsistency in the sharpness from scene to scene. What I found most bothersome about this transfer is the shoddy source elements. For a relatively major release, and one this contemporary, I was aghast at the amount of damage this print displays. Aside from dirt and debris, there are also white flecks from time to time (look at the lower left side of the my screencapture of the helicopter for a good example). BD enthusiasts will certainly not be using Bulletproof Monk to show off their home theater capabilities.

Bulletproof Monk Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Nominally better is the DTS-HD MA 5.1 mix, which is excellent as far as it goes, but which like the film itself suffers from not being given enough to do. When the action sequences spring to their occasional life, suddenly we are treated to some great immersion, with whizzing foley effects, explosions, and bullet sounds zinging to and fro and filling the soundfield with an appealingly goofy amount of mayhem. Unfortunately, those sequences are too sporadic to make this a sonic knockout. A lot of the film is dialogue, and really silly dialogue at that. It's presented cleanly and clearly, with excellent directionality. But most viewers are going to be drawn to this film thinking they're getting a martial arts spectacular. Think again, as some wise Monk once said.

Bulletproof Monk Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

No supplements are offered (other than trailers, which I don't count) on this bare bones release.

Bulletproof Monk Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

There's just not enough "there" there to justify anything more than a sort of middling response to Bulletproof Monk. The leads are appealing, to be sure, but the plot is so hackneyed and obviously cobbled together from a million half baked ideas that it's ultimately self defeating. Most viewers will probably opt for none from any column with this outing.