Beautiful Planet: Spain & Portugal Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		2.5
Audio		2.5
Extras		0.0
Overall		2.0

Beautiful Planet: Spain & Portugal Blu-ray Movie Review

Without a doubt the worst narration in the history of Documentary filmmaking.

Reviewed by Martin Liebman April 29, 2012

Aren't travelogue videos supposed to be fun, informative, awe-inspiring? They're supposed to be sharp, enthralling, immersive, taking viewers to places they've never seen, showing them things they didn't know existed, and with a level of detail only rivaled by the real thing. The visuals are the key, but a good guide along the way can be priceless, particularly when the video goes away from the staples of exotic travel for a look at some of the world's lesser wonders, those places of rich history and stunning beauty that don't usually appear in travel guides or on the roadmap of worldwide highlights. It is often in these places where detailed historical records, not tourist highlights, are required to truly appreciate them. Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal efforts to take viewers to these lesser-known and historically-rich places, but for all the beauty and wonder and interesting history there is to learn, the film employs a talking robot, a soulless automaton spitting out facts and figures with less enthusiasm than someone reading the obituaries. It's without question the worst narration ever to grace a Documentary, challenged only by Spain & Portugal's France and Italy sister Documentary, which didn't exclusively feature this lifeless narrator.

Barcelona.

Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal showcases five cities in Spain and three in Portugal. This feature, much like the France and Italy Documentary, focuses heavily not on culture or natural beauty but architecture and hard facts and figures. There's some history sprinkled in, but generally only as it pertains to and is relevant because of the architecture in question. The film takes its time with each piece, providing a comprehensive collection of images and highly detailed narration. Viewers are given access to two parts worth of Barcelona, followed by trips to Cordoba, Sevilla, and Santiago de Compostela. The Portugal sojourns hit up the cities of Guimarães, Porto, and Lisboa.

Sadly, that truly godawful narration is the defining element of this release. Never mind the relative strengths of the video and sound qualities and certainly forget about learning anything about the places highlighted in the film. Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal negates whatever it has to offer -- the good and the bad -- because the narration is so aurally ugly. It's amazing this was released in this condition, and it's amazing the recording session got more than thirty seconds in. It's not that the narration is incomprehensible, gibberish, not factual, or anything like that, it's that the cadence, the rhythm, the inflection, the style is the equivalent of a potent sleeping pill embodied in a voice. There's just no life, no excitement, just a dry, almost computerized regurgitation of facts and figures. That's a shame, because the program does seem to have some interesting places to show and things to tell. Unfortunately, the yin just doesn't line up with the yang.

While Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal certainly wouldn't be the end-all, be-all of travelogue Documentaries even with average, competent narration -- or even with a Morgan Freeman or other well-known voice breathing into it life -- superior narration would at least make it recommendable, watchable, maybe even enjoyable and informative. The furthest most Western European nations are jewels of architecture, breathtaking hubs of natural beauty, and home to incredible diversity in terms of combining modern comfort with centuries-old utility. But the film generally captures it somewhat blandly, but even for what amounts to little more than static images and occasional panning motions, it's absolutely alive and humming with excitement next to that narration. As a general classroom tool and watched on mute with the instructor providing narration, this might be a serviceable release. Fans of this sort of material or these countries might pick it up as a curiosity, but make sure that "mute" button on the remote is ready to go into action at a syllable's notice.

Beautiful Planet: Spain & Portugal Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal pretty much looks like the France and Italy release, featuring an acceptable but certainly not spectacular high definition release. "Soft" and "flat" define most of the image. Most details fall rather flat, the image featuring clumpy and smeary details and little definition even on close-ups of rough stone and brick work. But as the film plays, it occasionally features a slightly sharper, crisper appearance that's sometimes a far cry from the lifeless, hazy, and flat video that's almost always on display. Also, panning shots tend to fall apart into a blurry mass. Colors never really impress, but they hold their own even through the murky, questionable details. Other problems include washed-out skies and more than occasional instances of blocking, banding, edge enhancement, and aliasing. Certainly this image wasn't built with high quality home theater in mind. It'll work in a pinch replayed on a classroom television set, but videophiles won't be overly impressed.

Beautiful Planet: Spain & Portugal Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal features a flat but acceptable Dolby Digital 2.0 soundtrack. Unsurprisingly, the technical presentation of that narration is no better than the actual delivery, playing with no life and a sharp, unbalanced edge to it. Music never drifts all that far from the center and plays with only very general clarity, no surprise considering that, like the video, it was probably engineered with a classroom setting and minimalist audio equipment in mind. Music does improve here and there, playing with a little more of a low-end balance and increased clarity and energy in a few stretches, but generally, it's unimpressive. Most listeners won't be pleased, and chances are those geography or Spanish students who are still awake and listening through the built-in speakers of a Zenith CRT television circa 1994 won't care.

Beautiful Planet: Spain & Portugal Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal contains no bonus content.

Beautiful Planet: Spain & Portugal Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal might have been a fair travelogue video, but epically poor narration hinders an otherwise serviceable product. There are some good sights to see, but no worthwhile sounds to hear. Rather than peanut butter and jelly, this is kind of like stale peanut butter and decades-old mayonnaise mixed together on slightly moldy bread. None of it is good, the combination is terrible, but there are a few barely-acceptable corners on which one might nibble. Mill Creek's Blu-ray release of Beautiful Planet - Spain & Portugal features adequate video and audio and no supplements. Unless one is willing to watch on mute, this is one to skip.