Barbie: The Pearl Princess Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		4.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		1.5
Overall		3.0

Barbie: The Pearl Princess Blu-ray Movie Review

"Marion, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it, no matter what happens!"

Reviewed by Kenneth Brown March 14, 2014

C'mon, cards on the table. You don't watch these things, do you? You cave in to your daughters' relentless requests, order the latest Barbie movie out of sheer exhaustion, slide it in your Blu-ray player when it arrives, and duck out of the room as fast as you can, right? Get some work done. Do the dishes. Vacuum. Grab a nap. Clean out the garage. Oh, you sit there with your girls? Watch it, hm? Sure you do, if that's what you call slipping your iPhone out of your pocket and reading up on the news or racking up points in a featured battle in Marvel Puzzle Quest. If you actually sit there, though, grin and bear it like a champ, smile right along with your daughters and pretend to have a good time... well then, to you, sir or madam, I say bravo. You're a magnificent parent, worthy of a seat high atop a pearl-studded pink and purple pedestal where others can travel from afar to learn from your sacrifice. Honestly. Bravo.

Und'a da sea! Und'a... what's that? Copyrighted? Um... Bee-low da waves! Da dah da dah dum! Bee-low da waves!

Barbie stars as Lumina (voiced by Kelly Sheridan), a mermaid who dreams of being a princess. As long as she can remember, she's had a magical power that makes pearls dance and glow. Lumina and her best friend Kuda (Katie Crown), a pink seahorse, embark on an adventure to a majestic mer-kingdom. There, she uses her powers to help her friends prepare for the Royal Ball. Lumina then discovers that her magical pearls are the key to unlocking her true destiny and ultimately saving the kingdom.

Unfortunately, moms and dads, even the most noble and valiant parental selflessness won't change the fact that Barbie: The Pearl Princess is about as corny, pun-tacular, woodenly animated and mind-bendingly mediocre as every other Barbie direct-to-video release. Although, in fairness, I don't have a daughter, so I don't have a reason to find the silver linings apologists will cling to. The animation seems to be getting marginally better with each passing movie, yes. The voice performances and storytelling as well. The message Pearl Princess sends also isn't as problematic as other Barbie tales either, which is both a welcome change of pace and, to me, a pretty big deal. Even so, The Pearl Princess is still a low-rent, haphazardly constructed amalgamation of vastly superior animated films -- in this case, Cinderella and The Little Mermaid -- and its script, dialogue, animation, music and... ugh... pop-tastic songs (brace yourself for "Mermaid Party") make sitting through this particular 74-minute toy commercial a tough slog.

Will your little girls notice? Nah, they'll love it, of course, so there's at least some consolation to be had. And you know your kids. Ignore this cranky old writer (with bias seeping through by way of his 9-year-old son). Buy away. Your daughters deserve better films, but I'm assuming you've already bought them the myriad of animated titles that outshine The Pearl Princess. It's harmless undersea entertainment, and you could do worse. (Monster High for one.) Just be ready with an excuse. Unless you're dead set against leaving your kids alone in front of the TV, or need to spend more time with them, save yourself the pink-induced headache and find something else to do.

Barbie: The Pearl Princess Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The Pearl Princess boasts a more striking 1080p/AVC-encoded video presentation than previous Barbie releases, with notably crisper detail, more vibrant colors, more satisfying contrast and deeper blacks than in Barbie & Her Sisters in A Pony Tale. It most resembles Mariposa and the Fairy Princess, but there too lie noteworthy improvements. Artifacting, banding and aliasing are all but a non-factor, and the texturing and saturation of the animation is more refined and pleasing to the eye. Intermittent, arguably prevailing softness still abounds -- I suspect the source animation is at a slightly lower resolution -- and clarity isn't comparable to a Disney or DreamWorks animated film. That said, the quality of the encode makes up for most of the image's shortcomings, making The Pearl Princess the best-looking Barbie Blu-ray to date.

Barbie: The Pearl Princess Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The Pearl Princess tops previous Barbie releases in the audio department as well, even if Universal's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track is still beholden to a rather two-dimensional soundfield. Thankfully, the rear speakers are put to better use this time around, with a few fun directional effects and playful pans that liven up Barbie's latest adventure. LFE output remains solid throughout, particularly when the villains are working to enact their devious plans, and voices are clean, clear and reasonably well-grounded from start to finish. The music falls in line nicely too, without overwhelming or underwhelming the soundscape. (Minus "Mermaid Party," which comes on a bit strong and doesn't let up.) No one will confuse the decidedly direct-to-video audio track with the sort of mix you'd get if Pearl Princess were a full-fledged theatrical film, but as low-budget animation goes, it doesn't disappoint.

Barbie: The Pearl Princess Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Music Videos (HD, 6 minutes): Two animated music videos -- "Mermaid Party!" (in case you didn't get enough of it in the movie the first time around) and "Light Up the World" -- kick off a very brief supplemental package.
• Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse (HD, 14 minutes): All that remains is a 12-minute episode of Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse -- "Perf Pool Party" -- as well as a Dreamhouse music video.

Barbie: The Pearl Princess Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

No one's about to suggest The Pearl Princess out-swims, outclasses, out-sings or outshines Disney's Mermaid classic, but then again, Disney doesn't have sole claim to mer-kingdoms and mermaid princesses. Even without The Little Mermaid pecking at its fish bowl, though, Barbie: The Pearl Princess struggles to stay afloat, sinking in the icy depths of its wooden animation, slapdash script and derivative story. Little girls will smile, laugh and clap their way into justifying the cost of admission, but parents will spot the leaks in this one long before it begins slipping beneath the waves. At least Universal's Blu-ray edition delivers a solid video and audio experience... not that the same can be said for its special features, which kids will burn through in a half-hour. There are countless animated films that deserve a purchase or rent. But I'm guessing those are already sitting on your shelves or fresh in your daughters' memories, otherwise why would you be considering The Pearl Princess? Ah, the love of a parent. It knows no bounds.